


Slow Burn

by Tyellas



Category: Terminator (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Coming Out, Complete, Crush at First Sight, Cute Animals, Drama, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Femslash, Fire, Firefighters, Fluff, Friendship, Grace Lives, Gym Sex, John Lives, Las Vegas, Mild Angst, Muscles, Nonbinary Character, Queer Themes, Reunions, Romance, Self-Indulgent, Sex Toys, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Smooching, Something Blows Up, comes up/out in chapter 6, sex in a fire truck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:21:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 43,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26184124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tyellas/pseuds/Tyellas
Summary: Firefighter AU! For Grace, Dani…and a couple more Terminator characters, too.Grace has had ups and downs in her firefighting career. But everything’s going right so far at Moonshine Station, Ladder Company 69. Until she locks eyes with the newest EMT, Dani Ramos, and loses her heart.Chapter 15: Wet Down Ceremony - The final chapter! Does Grace become captain of Moonshine Station? What happens to Gabe? Sarah? Maybe Senator Connor proposes to someone and gets re-elected? Most of all, how does it work out with Grace and Dani?
Relationships: Grace Harper/Dani Ramos, Kate Brewster/John Connor, Sarah Connor/Diego Ramos
Comments: 182
Kudos: 234





	1. Ladder Company

**Author's Note:**

> What if the scene that started _Terminator: Dark Fate_ went differently and John Connor didn't die?  
> What if [the deleted ending scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=57&v=iEpjgFZpAt0) from _Terminator: Judgement Day_ really was the future? With Senator John Connor, a shadowed but contemplative Sarah, and a soft bohemian Washington D.C.?  
> How would Dani and Grace meet in that world's 2020?  
> And how smoking hot would Grace be in firefighter gear?!?!?
> 
> To play around with these questions, and for something dramatic but lighter, have a firefighter AU.

Looking back, Grace Harper always remembered that day. The twelfth of May. She’d driven to work through a mountain morning, all sunbeams and pine shadows. On her phone’s randomized playlist, all her favorite songs came up, one after the other. She’d rolled down the window, stuck her left arm out as she drove. It felt like she’d made the right decision, picking this place for a fresh start. Even her fire station’s sign read as idyllic. _Moonshine Station, Big Bear City. Keeping California Safe._

Things got weird when she pulled up and parked. Her second-least-favorite co-worker, Sarah, was in the spot next to her. Sarah had paused in her Jeep, smoking and listening to the radio. Grace couldn’t believe that a senior emergency nurse smoked.

Sarah got out of her car when Grace did. But she did not say good morning, or take off her aviators. That would have been too normal.

“Ever consider,” Sarah said, “that we’re living in the best of all possible worlds?”

“Uh. No.” Grace hadn’t had enough caffeine for this. “What makes you say that?”

Sarah flicked her long, silvering ponytail over one shoulder. “Guess you didn’t hear the news.”

She did not say what the news was – typical Sarah, cranky and cryptic. They went to a side stair. A quick swipe of Grace’s thumb logged her in. Her ID flashed on a screen, red on black: GRACE HARPER, SR FIREFIGHTER R-08, LOGIN TIME 7:01.

Up a flight of stairs, they entered the station’s ‘day room’. Sarah immediately flicked on the television, turned it up loud – one reason she annoyed Grace. “There,” she said. Grace listened.

_At the top of the news today, flooding in Los Angeles continues. Southern California is forecast to have its wettest summer in a decade. President Dean has signed Senator Connor’s Artificial Intelligence Balance bill into law, limiting the use of artificial intelligence technology. Both Wall Street and Silicon Valley are reacting…_

“Good about the rain,” Grace admitted. “Less fires for us to put out.” With that, she went to fling her backpack into a bunk room – her shift would last twenty-four hours. When Grace swung back for coffee, Sarah was still glued to the screen.

The second piece of news dragged Grace’s mood down. It reminded Grace of being restless in school, and something else, too. Grace had felt, since she was fourteen, that she was somehow missing the point of her life. That she should be doing something important. She hadn’t outgrown that feeling. Which was dumb, considering her work. Over fourteen years, she’d saved houses, trees, pets, human lives. But no matter what she did, the feeling didn’t go away. Like there was still something she should be doing.

Grace shrugged it off. Coffee in one hand, she ignored a fireman’s pole to walk down a different stair for shift start. She went through the gear room and the decontamination area to the wide garage at the station’s heart: the rig room.

The rig room was already bustling. Two ladder companies were each hiving around a glossy quint-engine fire truck. Grace went to the one on the left, her ladder. Four out of six of them were there, and she wasn’t the last one to show up. That meant she was all right for the day. “Morning!”

The three others gave her waves or finger-guns. Their lieutenant, sleek, dark Gabriel, spat, “Nice of you to join us. Run through the med kit.”

At the start of every shift, each ladder made sure their truck was ready to roll. The others were checking hoses and equipment. Their med kit was the most detailed piece of that – the most likely to get screwed up, and to get them in the shit if it was wrong. Grace picked up a checklist and got started. She’d seen why the ladder was subdued this morning. Carl, the station chief, was there. Just watching, but there.

Grace gave Carl a wave. The pewter-haired man waved back stiffly. It wasn’t personal with him, just the way he was. Any other fire captain would’ve renamed this particular ladder. But Carl was meticulous, humourless, honest to a fault. Theirs was the sixty-ninth engine in the county, so Ladder Company 69 they were.

Carl’s honesty was why Grace had started here a month ago. Grace had noted at her interview that there were more women at this station than usual, but none of them were firefighters. Carl had admitted they wanted to change that. He’d also been open about what that would mean for Grace if she took the job. She could expect to talk to schoolkids, face the community. She’d liked that. It said a lot that Carl would put someone as unabashedly queer as she was forwards that way. She’d also liked Carl’s policy of always having a nurse on shift, such as Sarah, for the trickier medical callouts - and the firefighters too.

Most of all, Carl had respected Grace’s experience with Cal Fire, wrangling both fire crews and the public. The captain for this station was getting ready to retire at the end of the summer. Grace was, he’d said, a strong candidate to be the new captain, once she got a feel for the place. He wanted her to work with different groups there to understand them. For now, this was her ladder company.

Grace had just closed the meds kit when Diego skidded in, dark hair rumpled, his dog Taco at his heels. “Sorry! Sorry!” The friendly white mutt bounced over for a pat from Grace. She skritched Taco’s head, right on his one patch of ginger fur.

Gabe said, “Dishes, bro.” Whoever got there late did the dishes for their shift’s meals.

“Sorry! It is my sister’s first day – “

Diego didn’t get to explain more. The station alarm cut him off. Everyone stopped.

The dispatcher’s smooth voice poured from the intercom. As soon as she said, “Ladder 69,” Grace felt electric. When she was out in her gear, all was right with the world. She’d do something, help someone – “Animal callout at Sugarloaf Park, cat described as ‘stuck’.”

All of Grace’s crew groaned except Gabe. Gabe’s black eyes still sparked. “Grace, Diego, Quayle. With me. Otis, Arnie, report to Carl, wait for a real emergency.”

As they geared up, Taco barked. Diego said, “No, Taco, this one, you stay here.”

Gabe said, “Get rid of him. This isn’t a fuckin’ kids book. Let’s do this!”

Diego scrubbed Taco’s head. _“Vas a Sarah.”_ The dog yipped and headed upstairs. One minute later, Ladder Company 69 was on their way.

The long red-and-silver fire truck felt like overkill for this, but the job might involve their ladders. There was always the chance they’d get called somewhere else on their way back. Gabe, their crew’s lieutenant, always drove. Other lieutenants passed the fun of that around. In the seat next to Gabe, Grace looked at his sharp, pale profile, his too-perfect black hair, and mulled that over. A firefighting crew, at its best, was between a family and a military unit. The crews at Moonshine Station were tight, which was a good sign. Grace thought this ladder was a good crew – but not for a lieutenant like Gabe.

Gabe liked to be in charge, and the others were happy to let him be that. But flashy Gabe also had a push to be the best. Unfortunately, with cleft-chinned, dark-eyed Diego around, Gabe wasn’t the most handsome. He wasn’t the funniest: lanky Quayle, nicknamed ‘Veep’, had that covered. He wasn’t the strongest, however hard he worked out in the station’s gym. That was Arnie and Otis, bodybuilding buddies. But Gabe had been the most experienced, until Grace had arrived. Grace could tell that rankled him most of all.

Gabe swerved them into a parking lot, taking up eight spaces, including a handicapped spot. Sugarloaf Park had a big playground, surrounded by fields, pine trees, and walking trails. Someone herding children waved at them from behind the playground’s mesh fence. “There they are.”

Both Gabe and Diego strode over. Grace watched them. Gabe, with his shoulders back, was eating up being The Fireman, posing for the teacher and kids alike. Diego went down on his knees to talk to a kid through the fence. After a minute, they returned.

Gabe said, “Kids tried to get the cat, it ran down the storm drain there. Gonna be a muddy crawl.” His eyes flicked over Grace and Quayle, two firefighters with the same height and trim build. “Grace, you go.” Grace pressed her lips together at her second shit job of the day.

When Grace saw the storm drain, she shrugged away her outer layer of firefighting gear. She kept on a long-sleeved crewneck and her leather fire gloves. Cats were assholes. The drain, open on the side of a new, elevated playing field, was wide enough for one. The others jimmied off the drain’s metal grate. When they did, a small sound came out to them: _mew._ Grace got down on her knees on lush grass. The ground beneath squelched, oozing mud. She sighed, flicked on a headlamp, and started crawling.

The mud soon roughened to cold, damp concrete. The sudden chill gave Grace a twinge, reminded her she had metal inside her leg, and always would. It ached like her heart did when she let herself think about her fucked-up year so far.

Until January, Grace had been senior in the field with Cal Fire, the California Forestry and Fire Safety Bureau. She’d had a plum of a job, flying ‘copters and scolding winery owners in the ravishing Napa Valley. But, while fighting an out-of-season forest fire, a tree had smashed Grace’s thigh. After metal implants to augment what was left of her femur, she’d needed three months to recover physically. When she returned, her core crew of lieutenants and career firefighters had dissolved in promotions, retirements, and restructuring.

Only Grace’s smoldering MILF sector manager, the team’s keystone, remained. And she promptly ended her on-again, off-again affair with Grace _. What we had was hot, honey, but all adrenaline, like wartime. I’m your superior, giving you orders – it’s not right. I’m thinking about your future, and mine too. You’ll meet someone your own age._

After that, Grace had only been able to stand one week of being around the woman and her new lover: a silver-haired charmer, _seriously_ senior with Cal Fire. Broken-hearted, told by her physiotherapist to stop jumping out of helicopters, Grace had left Napa entirely. She’d done her job-hunt from her mom’s house in Los Angeles. Starting over had felt like going back in time.

In the present, from the darkness ahead, something cried. For a moment Grace wondered if a stray kid had wound up down here, too. Then two reflecting eyes met hers. There was another miserable squeak. It wasn’t a cat down here, Grace realized. It was a kitten.

Motivated, Grace scrambled forwards, shrugging off a tangle in the drain, dead branches. A swipe into the dark struck lucky. She found herself with a squirming creature in one hand.

Scruffing it, grabbing the back of its neck, calmed it instantly. Grace drew it in. The kitten, soaked, pathetic, invisible with its eyes closed, nestled against her chest. “Hey, little guy. Hey. It’s gonna be okay.”

Grace carefully began to crawl in reverse. On the way, the kitten began to purr. Maybe this particular cat wasn’t an asshole.

Backing out, Grace said, “I got it!” Kneeling up, clutching the kitten, she blinked as Diego grabbed a quick phone shot of her.

“Fuck, that cat’s ugly,” Gabe said. Grace looked down. She couldn’t tell if the kitten was cute or not, with it as soaked and muddy as she was. “Cage it and let’s go.” Grace did her best to be gentle as she detached the clinging kitten from her shirt.

On the way back, the kitten was silent in the cat carrier at Grace’s feet. Gabe was expounding to Diego and Quayle. “Animal rescues on your feed, with you in gear – that’s a pussy magnet. That’s why I put up with your mutt, Diego.” He glanced at Grace. “You want the shot, Grace? Put it on your Tinder. Chicks dig that shit.”

“I’m fine,” Grace said. She’d heard worse. Besides, apps did nothing for her. How were you supposed to look at somebody’s face and know you really wanted them? She’d tried one her first week in Big Bear: deleted it a day later, overwhelmed. People had _ideas_ about Grace because she was tall and fit. After what she'd gone through this year, she wanted something more real than that.

Quayle cleared his throat. Gabe snapped, “What? I’m supporting diversity!” With that, he got on the radio and started barking a report about what they’d done for the dispatcher.

Grace flinched at a tap on her shoulder. It was Diego. “I will not post the pic if you do not want me to,” Diego said, brows drawn over serious eyes.

“Uh, go ahead. I know it’s good for the station,” Grace said. She never looked at the station’s social media feeds, herself, unless Gabe shoved them in her face. Gabe was the kind of firefighter who stuffed his own feeds with photos of himself at the scene. His car even had a vanity plate with his lieutenant number, Rev-09.

As they pulled up into the station, it hit Grace that she could’ve said some of her thoughts about Tinder aloud. Defused the tension, pushed back at Gabe. Had a real conversation. That was what her long affair at Cal Fire had done, made her keep everything personal inside.

The moment the engine glided to a stop, Grace took the at carrier to the decontamination space. Someone would be there to sort the cat out. It must have been a slow day for call-outs, because that someone was Sarah. Beside her was a paramedic Grace hadn’t seen before. Grace would never have forgotten meeting this one.

The paramedic was seriously short, with a petite, honed body. Her black hair, sun-kissed to copper at the ends, hugged her head in five efficient braids. She had a face like a wide-cut topaz, golden-brown skin and clean cheekbones, every angle perfect. As she took Grace in, her huge dark eyes went from stern to sympathetic.

Sarah said, “Give me the cat.”

Grace didn’t move. Still staring, she said, “It’s a kitten.”

“That kitten blood on you? Or your own?” asked Sarah.

Grace realized her neck was sticky. Something had cut her and she hadn’t even noticed. “Uh. Mine.”

Sarah nodded. “Dani, fix her up. This is Grace, one of our firefighters. Grace isn’t concussed, she’s always like this. Dani’s our new EMT. She’s Diego’s sister, so play nice.”

Dani looked Grace up and down. “Take all that off so I can look after you.”

That crisp order turned Grace inside-out. She hardly felt Sarah take the cat carrier out of her hands. She was too busy going hot and cold, feeling like an overloaded computer, if a computer could be embarrassed.

Because, with that one look at Dani’s face, Grace _knew_.


	2. Station House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet Daniela Ramos, paramedic. It's her first day at Moonshine Station. She gets a tour, a lunch, some unwanted attention, and an offer she can't refuse. Meanwhile, firefighter Grace finds she's adopted a kitten.

Daniela Ramos had never pictured herself working in a fire station, let alone in _el Norte_. Still, by ten o’clock on her first day, she thought she was going to like it there. Despite her quiet worries.

Most of the fire station’s support staff took their coffee break at the same time. Dani was with them now, all of them standing up in the dispatchers’ office. The dispatchers had their own coffee machine, and a dog bed for Diego’s dog, Taco. Taco was snoozing there while Diego was out on a call. Dani had to laugh at the cardboard sign next to the dog bed: DON’T FEED ME COOKIES. NO BISCOCHOS! Someone had brought cookies in to welcome her, and they were good.

“You’re lucky we haven’t had any serious calls yet, today,” said the dispatcher on break, Suz. “What brought you to Big Bear?”

“My brother is here,” Dani said. She looked around at the nurses, paramedics, and the shift’s dispatcher. “Are all of you from here? I have heard them say, nobody is born in California, but everybody comes here.”

“I escaped from New York,” said one of the nurses, Beth. “I should be gardening today, but I came in to say welcome.”

"We moved here for my wife's work. They're doing research at the alpine wildlife center,” said Suz, then muffled herself in her coffee, eyes wide, waiting for Dani’s reaction.

Dani had quietly eyed Suz up and down when they’d met. She wasn’t surprised. “That is nice, to work with animals,” Dani said. Suz relaxed at that and flashed her own clever smile. But Dani felt a little sad. It would be so easy to say who she was that way, if she had a wife. And it sounded like, here, she could say it…if it ever happened.

“I came up after Open Borders,” said the other nurse, skinny, tattooed Cesar. Everyone nodded at him. President Dean had signed the Open Borders Act two years ago, giving free passage between Canada, the U.S., and Mexico for work. Dani caught how, like herself, Cesar didn’t say much more. He probably had a story, just like she did.

“What made you decide to become a paramedic?” Beth asked.

Dani took a little breath. “My first job was in a factory in Mexico City – Arius, the cars. On shift, someone has to know first aid. So I said, I will learn. I liked it so much, I got the degree. It is still working hard and shouting at people, like the factory. But to save lives.” Helping people felt right. More, Dani had wanted to have a life of her own. Find out who she was, with some breathing room.

“Then Diego got this job here and says…” Dani realized the smiling faces had gone serious. She turned around.

The lead nurse for the day, Sarah, had stuck her head in. “Dani, join me in Decon.” Dani put her cup by the machine and went. Something had come in. It couldn’t be that bad if Sarah was only asking for her.

Sarah was as gruff as the others were smiley. But Dani had liked Sarah right away, and most of all. Sarah had greeted Dani in Spanish, said she’d lived all around Central America, and apologised for Big Bear after Mexico City. Ironically, she’d been born in California – the only person at this station who was. After that, Sarah had switched back to English, and been all business. It was enough to make Dani feel grounded. Somehow, this woman was on her side.

Sarah pulled on a medical vest. “Slow day. We’ve got an animal rescue coming in. You’ll see our process.”

“What happens to the animal?” Dani asked. Sarah didn’t have time to answer before someone shouldered through the swinging door to Decon.

By firefighter standards, this person was half-naked, in muddy uniform trousers and a wet, clinging crew-neck shirt. The shirt clung to muscular arms, broad shoulders, a woman’s chest. Above it was a handsome woman’s face, with chapped lips and blue eyes, vivid against her grime and scratches. She was still wearing a headlamp, tightened heedlessly over short blonde hair. All the women who worked here had a tough edge. But this one looked like she’d win any fight in the world. Dani’s stomach dropped.

Sarah said, “Give me the cat.”

Dani hadn’t even noticed the cat carrier the firefighter had. The firefighter’s voice was light and a little husky as she said, “It’s a kitten.”

“That kitten blood on you? Or your own?” asked Sarah.

The firefighter touched the right side of her neck, startled. “Uh. Mine.”

Sarah nodded. “Dani, fix her up. This is Grace, one of our firefighters. Grace isn’t concussed, she’s always like this. Dani’s our new EMT. She’s Diego’s sister, so play nice.”

Dani covered her blushes by saying, “Take all that off so I can look after you.”

Dani thought, _please don’t say how I am short or ask where I am from or ask anything, truly_ because if this person said something stupid or awful, she couldn’t stand it. Because Grace was a co-worker, she told herself. The first firefighter she was helping here.

Over her shoulder, Sarah said, “Yep, a kitten. Eight weeks, maybe. I’ll rinse her off here.”

Luckily for Dani, Grace stayed quiet. Grace reached down to pull off her crew-neck, but forgot she had the headlamp on, and got tangled in it. “Shit.” Dani urged her to bend down for help. By the time they had Grace free and stripped to her white tank top, Dani had recovered from the shock of meeting her.

“You are sure you are not concussed?”

“I swear,” Grace said. She ruffled her blonde hair. It fell back into place perfectly. Dani had never thought that a bowl haircut could look good on an adult. But Grace made it look amazing. “I think this scratch is from a branch.”

“Sit here, please.” The scratch was shallow but wide, and dirty. Grace inhaled as Dani cleaned and sterilized it, but she didn’t flinch. Grace’s skin was very hot, Dani noted.

“You are lucky. One inch more, this finds your jugular vein.” Grace’s only response was to lift her blue eyes to Dani. Dani swallowed. “Please wash your face and neck. Then I must bandage you.”

Grace joined Sarah at the sink and scrubbed down roughly. When she was done, Sarah thrust the towel-mummified kitten at her. “Since you’re about to be sitting still, hold this ‘til she dries. Me and my nursing degree will scrub out the cage.” She left. Dani heard a sink start up in the next room, where gear was washed and laundered.

Grace sat down with a bemused expression. Both she and the kitten stayed quiet as Dani patched Grace’s neck with gauze and surgical tape. Finally, Dani said, “It looks more bad than it is. Leave the dressing on for a day, please.”

“I’ll try. Can I have a spare? I’ll stow it at my bunk, in case.” Dani handed her an extra-large bandage.

“How did you start at this station? They tell me it is very new, here.”

“Yeah, this just opened in January. It was pretty much a truck garage before that. Carl and the captain got the funding to make this a real station. The area needs it, what with more people moving here and more idiots coming up to stay at AirBnBs.” Grace stood up. Dani had to admit that, next to Grace, she was very short. Grace was the tallest woman she’d ever met up close.

From the next room, Sarah yelled, “Grace, Dani hasn’t seen upstairs yet. Give her the tour, will you?”

“I guess I can show you around,” Grace said, adjusting the kitten from one arm to the other. 

Dani smiled. “I’d like that.”

She half-ran to keep up Grace strode out into the big garage area. “We’ve got a quint truck – runs on a crew of four – and the tiller truck. That’s the truck your brother and I work on.”

Dani evaluated the tiller truck Grace pointed the kitten at. “It is tall.”

“It’s like a whole fire station, but on wheels. See how it splits in the middle? That’s for tight corners on mountain roads. Lots of space for equipment, an on-board water tank, turntable ladder – goes any way you need it.” Grace looked at it fondly. Her wide, sweet smile changed her whole face.

Dani said, “You could name the kitten Tiller.”

Grace blinked. “Name it?”

“You will keep it, yes? Or does one of the others want it?”

“Uh. I don’t think so.” Grace held the cat up to her face. “Are you a Tiller?”

The kitten made a rusty-hinge noise.

Grace lowered the bundle of cat and towel and placed it in the crook of her arm. “I don’t think it likes Tiller. Have you been upstairs yet? No? I’ll show you.” Dani half-ran again, following Grace to a stairway.

“We have a separate gear room, but I know Sarah showed you as the EMTs equipment is also stored there. You saw the dispatch office, space for six. Up here is the living space.”

Dani had seen fire stations before during her training, but her eyes widened here. This area was bigger than her family’s old apartment in Mexico City.

Grace pointed out the obvious. “Large kitchen. Firefighters try to cook as a team and eat together. The dining table is over there. We set up a rotation for cleaning duty. Carl donated the huge television for us, and the couches are still nice. I give them another year of looking nice, tops. I’ll show you a bunk. We have ten private bunks, each with their own bathrooms.”

Grace led the way down a side hallway and opened the furthest door on the left. “I try to pick this one when I’m on shift. It’s quiet.”

“There isn’t much to see,” Grace warned, opening the door and allowing Dani to enter first.

Grace was right. The room was tiny, maybe three meters by two, with a long single bed and a cabinet. A lonely duffel bag dented the bed. Grace carefully placed her spare bandage on top of the bag. “I really like the privacy. Sometimes you just want to crash.”

The kitten suddenly made a bid to escape. “No. No, no.” Grace sat on the bed and tried to wrap it back in the towel like Sarah had. The kitten flailed, tiny in Grace’s big hands, and made tortured-baby noises.

“I guess it wants its mama,” Dani said, trying to hide her smirk.

Grace sniffed. “I guess it wanted out of that towel for a reason.” With her free hand, she unzipped her duffel and pulled out a flannel shirt, slinging that over the kitten. In a moment, she had a new kitten bundle, twice as adorable as before. Now that the kitten was clean and dry, Dani could see it wasn’t black. The kitten’s coat was dark brown, smudged here and there with black or apricot. One paw and the kitten’s chin were both apricot, like it had been stealing orange ice cream. 

Dani melted. “So cute! You could call her – what is the man who cuts down the trees – “

“Lumberjack? I’ve got enough problems,” said Grace. The kitten was trying to get free again. Grace reached down, clumsily trying to soothe it. After a few flailing swats, the kitten settled for gnawing on Grace’s finger, then settled down to suck the finger’s edge. Grace shook her finger to watch the kitten cling.

“Ah! You have to be careful,” Dani said.

“I will.” Grace’s reply was soft, and Dani was glad those blue eyes were turned down at the kitten, not up at her. Diego had teased her about falling in love with one of the firemen. He hadn’t expected this. Her stomach sank more. She’d better talk to him, soon.

“It’s a good time to join this station. People work at places like this for years. Unless something happens.” Grace sounded oddly bitter about that. She added, “I hope it’s not all for nothing.”

Dani frowned. “What do you mean?”

Grace sighed and ruffled her hair again. “It’s stupid. Big Bear City says they went over budget on this station, so they’re reducing our funding. Funding for us means fewer man-hours. People-hours. Letting one of the engines sit. Which is dumb because the number of fires has been increasing! Carl and I tried to get them to see that last week. I, uh, do some admin with him. But the captain…the captain didn’t handle the last city meeting well.”

“What happened?”

Grace looked away. “I shouldn’t be telling you this.”

“It is okay,” Dani said, holding out her hands. “I don’t want you to say anything you’ll regret. Let’s go find some food for _la gatita_ here.”

Grace held the cat up to her face. “Do you like Gatita as a name?”

The kitten uttered a sad-balloon squeak.

Dani lowered her head to hide her smile as Grace reported the kitten didn’t like it.

Grace rose and hesitated at the door. She turned back. “The captain told them we had a firebug.”

Dani’s eyes widened. “A firebug?”

“Yeah. A serial arsonist. He thinks someone is setting a lot of the fires in our area. Scrublands, storage sheds. I mean some of those could have been set but others showed no evidence of a firebug. They told him he was crazy, to take it to what we’ve got for police, and they weren’t increasing our funding. But we need money to pay for people like you.”

Grace cuddled the kitten in her elbow again, and Dani’s eyes were drawn back to her muscles. That gave Dani an idea. She said, “You know, Diego takes a lot of pictures.”

“I noticed,” Grace said, voice wry.

“Why don’t we do a calendar to raise money?”

Grace looked handsomely vacant again. “A what now?”

“A calendar. We take pictures of you and the others in sexy or cute poses. People will buy them up like elotes. Especially if we took one of you and Smokey there.”

Grace lifted the kitten to her face again. “Smokey?”

The kitten squirmed out and, with one paw, booped Grace’s nose. “I think it likes Smokey. I’ll see what the crew thinks about the calendar. If they can put it together by August, all the gay guys will buy it.”

 _“Que?”_ From shock, Dani laughed.

Grace snorted. “A lot of gay guys come up here in August for a festival. Big hairy muscle types. The lake and towns are called Big Bear…so, all the bears…” Grace trailed off, blushing like fire. “It’s an expression. Never mind.”

Again, someone was talking about gay life. Except Grace was as awkward about it as Dani felt. Dani’s heart lifted. There was hope for her yet. “You will keep the kitten?”

“Uh, yeah. I – yeah.” Grace smiled wryly. “When something’s so cute, can’t say no.”

Grace left the kitten in its nest of a shirt on her bed. By the time they got back to the day room, the rest of Grace and Diego’s crew was there. Diego bounced over, exuberant, and introduced her to everyone. It was impossible to keep track because they all had a name and a nickname. They were making lunch, and she was going to join them, right?

“Yes, thank you!”

Grace joined in the cooking, leaving Dani with nothing to do but watch the big-screen TV. That was fine. She’d fallen into old habits this morning. Staying with Diego, she’d made him breakfast. It turned out his seven roommates – seven! all working at this town's resorts or other public services, all Mexican like them – wanted breakfast, too. Dani had moved up here to keep an eye on Diego and send money home, but that was too much. She needed to find a place for herself, and fast.

Thanks to Open Borders, Tio and her cousins weren’t smugglers anymore. That was a relief. But since she and Diego had moved, Papi was at Tio’s hacienda. They were trying to make money growing avocados, but it was hard. Dani had screamed for half an hour when she’d learned how much her little brother was getting paid in California. Paramedic pay wasn’t as good, but it was more than twice what she’d make in Mexico. She wanted to send a lot of it to Papi. But, arriving here, she’d learned that Diego had seven roommates for a reason. The pay here was good because the rents were bad. She was hoping to find the girl’s version of Diego’s house somewhere. She was going to have enough of men at work, she decided.

The TV was a nice distraction. Dani shook her head at an American commercial and got interested in the show that followed it. It was a talk show. Dani admired the host's outfit as she declaimed to the camera.

_“Some call him “Senator Bieber” – too young and handsome to take seriously. Others see him as future presidential candidate. All California is talking about him today as the lawmaker who’s changed the I.T. industry for the sake of hands-on jobs. Please welcome Senator John Connor - ”  
_

_“For you, Oprah, I’ll be Senator Bieber. But only for you!”_

The senator's name was familiar. Dani remembered he had had something to do with Open Borders. Right when the senator bounded onto the talk show stage, lunch was ready. Dani turned away to accept a plate.

“We call this tacos, but we’re probably way wrong,” said one of two very big men.

“They will be delicious,” Dani said. “I always like food I do not have to cook.”

Everyone laughed. Someone else said, “Best hire ever!”

“I’ll say,” added the dark-haired man at the end of the table. Dani remembered him: Gabriel Nueves. Diego’s boss on the fire truck. He hadn’t said much else. Dani noticed that, now that he’d seen her properly, he didn’t look away. Dani sighed inside. Yes, she was definitely going to have enough of men at work.

Grace ate silently and left early. Dani saw her take a little taco meat and a cup of water away, for the kitten. Dani sighed inside, for very different reasons.

It was amazing to see Diego doing dishes afterwards. Since Dani hadn’t helped cook, she went to dry them. Gabe followed her over. Finally, he talked. “Helping out already. Awesome to have you with us. The way Diego talks you up, I’m surprised you’re so short.”

Dani rolled her eyes. “I am not short. You are tall.”

Dani said that without thinking, her usual response to people saying the obvious. But Gabe beamed. “Yeah?”

“Oh, yes. I am asking everyone this – are you from California?” She realized, as she said it, she hadn't asked Grace. 

Gabe got her full attention with his reply. “Nope. I was a cop. Border patrol. Then they opened the borders and defunded the cops at the same time."

"Oh," said Dani. If they'd met two years ago... Dani felt a chill. 

"S'all right. They need me here.” For an instant, Gabe’s eyes twinkled. His pale face lit up with sudden charm. Dani could see now why Diego was always full of Gabe-says-this and our-boss-says-that. She’d been worried about some of those things Gabe said - part of why she was here. But then Gabe said, "Moved here from Texas. Laredo."

Remembering her chat with Sarah earlier, and Gabe's last name, Dani perked up. _“Ah, su familia son Tejanos?”_

“Sorry, I don’t speak Spanish. Dad brought me up to be an American.”

Dani gaped. This was awkward.

Gabe made it more awkward immediately “Hey, listen. Diego said you’re staying with him, right?”

Dani huffed. “Him and his dirty laundry.”

Gabe smiled again. “I got room at my place. Place of my own, step up from your baby brother’s. How about – “

Dani was stepping back, mind racing as she tried to respond to Diego’s boss, when she walked right into Sarah. “Oh! Sarah - I’m sorry – “

Sarah didn’t seem disturbed. “Speaking of a place, I’ve got a whole house. Step up from Gabe’s bachelor pad. And I’ve got a room for rent.”

“A room?” Gabe repeated, disbelieving.

“A room!” Dani said. She hoped she sounded delighted, rather than panicky. “That sounds good. Really good! Maybe I can see tonight? After shift?”

“Yeah. First, we’ve got the EMT meeting.”

“Thank you! Yes – the time – “ Her hour with Grace had flown. She needed to join the rest of the EMT team and the nurses for their big weekly meeting. After all that coffee earlier, she had to do something else, too. Dani dashed into the women’s bathroom.

Inside, Dani sighed with relief. She owed Sarah. They would talk later. Maybe they'd be roommates, maybe not - Sarah was her boss, after all - she'd move out, she'd come out to Diego, Diego would calm down, she'd tell other people at the fire station since you could without being fired if Suz had, Gabe would leave her alone. Everything would be fine. She hoped.

When Dani was in the stall, she heard a heavy tread, the door opening and closing. Then the door swung a second time. She recognized Grace’s voice.

“When I started a month back, you didn’t say you had a room,” Grace said. She sounded irritated, like she’d had her own bad time trying to find a place.

Grace’s silent follower was Sarah. Sarah growled, “The kid’s got a lot on her plate. I was her, once. And it sucked.”

When their stall doors closed, Dani zipped out. She washed her hands in the decon room downstairs. Stood across from Sarah in the office five minutes later, listening to Sarah’s sarcastic rasp through the agenda. Curious about what Sarah had meant by that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to silverwriter1 for helping write this chapter, especially the firehouse tour and details!
> 
>  _elotes_ = Mexico city snack, delicious grilled ears of corn with cheese and mayo and more. 
> 
> _Ah, su familia son Tejanos_ = Your family is Tejanos (long-term Texans of Hispanic background)


	3. Live In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Dani's going to send money home, working in a California resort town, she needs an affordable place to live. Will she decide to live with Sarah? And if she does, what will Grace think of that?

Dani made it to Sarah’s house an hour after the end of her shift. She parked and unclenched the wheel.

Driving always made Dani sweat. She’d gotten her driver’s license as part of her paramedic training. She did all right. But Dani always expected a truck to mow her down, or a vehicle to come at her the wrong way. Diego was always happy to drive instead. Somehow, Dani worried even more when he did.

Being here might solve one of Dani’s worries, finding a place to live. Dani peered out her car window at Sarah’s house. It wasn't like the oversized vacation homes around Big Bear lake. This side street was only a lane and a half, shaded with pine trees, with smaller houses and cabins close together. Unusually, Sarah’s place was fenced with chain link on all sides, and with a locking gate across the driveway. The front yard was barely touched, with spruce and pine trees hiding a small red house. Which room would Sarah offer her? Dani messaged Sarah and got out of her car.

While Dani was waiting, a tall red-headed woman walking three dogs went by. “Don’t worry, they’re friendly,” the woman said. Dani turned and held her hand out. The two smaller dogs tumbled over each other to be petted. A big German Shepherd gave Dani’s hand a dignified sniff before lifting her head with a _woof_. Dani looked behind her. Sarah was unlocking the gate. Dani thanked the woman and went over to Sarah.

Sarah and the redhead exchanged a wave. Dani asked, “Who is she?”

“Kate Brewster. A veterinarian. Lives next door. She’s all right. Anyone who likes dogs usually is.” Sarah closed – and locked – the gate behind Dani. Dani barely noticed. Taco could use a vet around here. Diego probably hadn’t found one yet.

Sarah’s voice was cool. She still had her sunglasses on after her drive home. Maybe she was having second thoughts about offering Dani a room in her house. Dani set herself to find out how Sarah really felt, and if this was a good idea. Before she’d left the station, Gabe had cornered her to say his offer still stood, and maybe Sarah had made the offer because she wanted a house cleaner. It was awful – but he might be right.

“This is the place,” Sarah said, flicking through several locks on a door. Dani liked that. Most Americans were so careless, parking anywhere, no bars on their windows. There were window bars here.

Inside, the house was dark, agreeably cool. Sarah switched some lights on. They didn’t brighten the living area much, with its pine-paneled walls, dark green and maroon furniture, and full bookcase. A large television, not a flat-panel, filled one corner. Dani eyed a stack of news magazines. There was that Senator Connor again, on a cover. It all looked very serious.

“Kitchen was redone six years ago,” Sarah said. That was dark too, more pine and heavy granite countertops. Only a bowl of fruit and an old-fashioned coffee percolator suggested that someone ate here. Sarah flicked open a painfully clean refrigerator, maybe one-quarter full. Never mind a room, Dani thought: after the kitchen at Diego’s house, she was ready to move into this fridge. “I cook once a week and freeze meals. You’d have a couple of shelves.”

Sarah opened the back door with more flickers of locks. “The garden.”

“Ah!” Dani said, delighted. She peeked out. It was like Tio’s garden, plant beds and buckets and hoses. “All vegetables? No flowers?”

“It’s mostly for seed. There’ll be sunflowers and echinachea when summer kicks in. Over there’s a garage, but with my Jeep and my bike in there, you’ll park in the driveway. It’s better to park off street when your car’s got Mexican plates,” Sarah said, neutrally.

Back inside, Sarah followed Sarah into a narrow hallway. “Bathroom’s down there. Upstairs is my room and another bathroom. Downstairs, there’s the furnace, laundry, a bit of a workshop, and the gun room.”

Dani’s eyes widened. “A gun room! A whole room for guns?”

“Mmmm. I do…target shooting. Don’t worry. The gun room’s always locked.”

Dani tried to not smile too much. _“Que Americana.”_

Sarah half-smiled below her sunglasses. _“T ípica gringa, eh?”_

Dani giggled. _“La neta!”_

Sarah opened a door. “This is the room. It’s got a bed.”

Dani stepped in and breathed. The room had the same pine panelling as the rest of the house, but it felt lighter. A double bed was made up in pure white. One wall had a glass door, a porch slider leading to a small deck. Whoever stayed here could come and go on their own. The glass was barred, but this ironwork gave the impression of waving vines. Another wall was all inbuilt pine storage – two closets and a built-in dresser with an alcove. The house’s one touch of color was in the alcove: a vivid flower arrangement, red and yellow. A petal fell from it as Dani looked. She held herself back from suggesting that it needed more water.

“Want a drink while you make up your mind?”

“Yes, thank you.” They went back to the living room. Dani said, “It is nice. How much is the rent?”

Sarah named a figure. It was half of what Diego was paying. To Dani’s shocked silence, Sarah added, “That includes utilities. I don’t have central AC. You’d have to run the ceiling fan.”

“Are you certain?”

Sarah shrugged. “The room’s here. No-one’s in it. My Spanish is getting rusty, so you’d help me out just talking.”

When Dani didn’t answer, she went on. “I bought the place fifteen years ago for cash. So my son and I could have a home. He grew up, moved on. Might as well be somebody else’s home.”

Sarah had a son? “What if he visits? I could go stay with Diego.”

“He won’t.” Sarah turned away, sliding behind the kitchen counter. “We haven’t talked in three and a half years.”

This was amazing. “Why?”

Sarah slammed open the fridge. “When he rides a motorcycle, drinks from a hip flask, and swears, it’s ‘manly’ and ‘relatable’. When I do it, it’s ‘inappropriate’, especially for a ‘mom’.”

Dani gasped. “He says that?”

“Once. Last time we talked. I was supposed to go to this – thing – and he said – ” Sarah paused to choose their beers. Finally, through gritted teeth, she said, “He’s not wrong. He’s…important, now. And that’s not going to stop anytime soon. I don’t want to fuck his situation up. So I stay out of the way.”

Dani was outraged. “Just because somebody is rich or, or wears a suit, does not make them better than anybody else. All work is important. You help people, you save their lives! And you are his mother! Nobody ever does as much as a mother! Does he really not talk to you?”

Sarah huffed. “He sent those flowers you saw. Mother’s Day. They’re for the mom he wishes he had now, I think. Some Mother Mary. Not me.” Sarah cracked open the beers, slid one along the counter to Dani. “I’m a bitch? Fine. That got us through some shit when he was a kid. Today, I’m an alive bitch and he’s an alive son of a bitch.”

“Alive is important – ” Dani began.

Sarah cut her off. “Enough about me. What matters right now is he won’t be coming around. Which probably suits you, because you’re gay, right?”

Dani plunked down on a low maroon sofa. She swallowed. This was not how she had pictured telling someone at all, let alone her boss and maybe-roommate. “What did I do that let you know?”

Sarah walked over and put Dani’s beer in front of her. “It’s what you didn’t do.”

Sitting down, Sarah finally took her sunglasses off. In the dim room, her eyes were both pale and dark, brows knowing. “That firehouse is packed with the most smoking-hot sides of manly beef in this entire county. Every type of man you could want. _Los mas guapos!_ But not for you. You didn’t look twice at a single guy. Oh, you were nice enough. But I know polite conversation when I see it.” With that, Sarah drank deeply.

Dani didn’t. “Are you? Gay?” Dani had been wondering about Sarah. She truly couldn’t tell.

Again, Sarah’s mouth tilted in her half-smile. “Depends how much tequila a woman’s poured for me and how hot her boyfriend is.” Dani gasped in shocked laughter.

Sarah flashed a brief, wicked grin. “Told you I wasn’t Mother Mary. I make my own fun. I don’t bring it back here, though. At someone else’s place, I can leave when I want...” She trailed off, remote for a moment. “Now you know. Still want the room?”

If anyone had asked Dani two days ago if she’d move into a house with an entire room of guns and a self-described bitch as a roommate, she would have said they were crazy. Yet despite the room downstairs, or maybe to keep it safe, this house felt secure. Dani wouldn’t be cooking and cleaning here. And at that price for the room, Dani could send money to Papi and Tio _and_ build up her own savings. More, Sarah wasn’t treating Dani like any family Dani had ever met. She was talking to Dani like Dani was…a friend. Another tough woman. Dani had the oddest feeling that she’d talked like this with Sarah before – in a dark, pine-wood house, sharing a drink, making plans that they both agreed on. Being here felt right, somehow.

So, Dani asked. “Can we try? Two, three months maybe, and see?”

Sarah nodded. “Good idea. That’ll get you through tourist season. Places open up more in September.”

By then, they might be friends enough that Dani could try and get Sarah to talk to her son again. That was more important than money or pride. Dani knew. She could never talk to her mother again, unless she prayed, and God passed it on.

For now, Dani lifted her beer. _“Salud!”_ Sarah returned the toast.

* * *

Next day, Dani was still tired when she showed up for her shift. She’d gone back to Diego’s and explained to his roommates, and there’d been more beers and a very late dinner. It had been fun. Still, Dani was glad living with Sarah would be quieter. She knew how hard she was going to work.

Paramedics and nurses worked seven to seven, four days a week, day or night. It was not so bad when your commute was ten minutes. Dani, being new, would have more weekend day and night shifts. Sarah did that a lot herself – ‘weekends are when the crazy shit happens’. Cesar and the other paramedics often did shifts at the local resorts, too, lifeguarding pools in the summer, taking care of skiiers and snowboarders in the winter. Sarah hadn’t said she did, but her house was paid for and her son was grown and well-off. _He should be sending Sarah money,_ Dani thought.

She’d been messaging Diego, but they hadn’t talked. Firefighters called their schedule 24/24 – a full day on, a full day off. Every five shifts on, they got two extra days off. Diego loved it – growing up, he had always been on the go or sprawled asleep. Now, he spent his spare days playing with Taco, working on his music, and, yes, sleeping. She’d learned yesterday that Diego’s team mates, Quayle, Otis, and Arnie, used their time for the sports they loved. What Gabe did, Dani already didn’t want to know. Then there was Grace…

Thoughts of Grace had been with Dani every step of last night. Meeting that veterinarian, so pretty, like a model, but not half as compelling. Picturing talking to Grace in that quiet, dark living room, just the two of them. Trying to figure out if the very white bed would be long enough for Grace’s height.

Clocking in at the side entrance, Dani ran into Grace clocking out. Grace was carrying her duffel bag and balancing a cardboard box. After her own shift, Grace had deep circles under eyes.

“Good morning! How are you?”

“Tired. Big callout last night.” Grace said. She looked left and right and leaned in. Dani caught how she smelled like smoke. “Diego’s still packing. He said you’re going to be roommates with Sarah?”

“Yes.” Dani felt herself going warm. She’d have to have a word with Diego about keeping her business to himself, now that she worked here, too. And about telling her when he was doing something dangerous!

Grace said, “You need anything, like to move out in a hurry, let me know.”

Recalling Sarah’s own words, Dani asked, “Do you think she’s a bitch?”

Grace stood taller, flustered. “I never - I didn’t – she’s a personality, is all.” Smokey poked a bright-eyed kitten head out of the box. Grace tried to shove Smokey back in. “Anyway, I mean it. Any time. Midnight, whatever. I have no sleep schedule. Want to put your number into my phone?” She fumbled it out, then tried to hold the box closed again. Smokey was doing an amazing job of wriggling free.

Grace didn’t have anyone as her screen saver, just a standard pattern. Dani tapped her number in. “You send me a message, then I will have your number.”

Grace said, “I will.” Smokey squeaked in protest and attacked Grace’s hand. “I have to get this, uh, cat home. Have a good shift.”

“Oh – for Smokey - Sarah’s neighbor is a veterinarian! Kate Brewster.”

“Kate Brewster,” Grace repeated. “I’ll remember. Thanks.”

That morning, on her coffee break, Dani checked her phone. There was a message from an unfamiliar number. It was only a photo: a chirky, smudgy kitten, defiantly perched on a car dashboard. The rear-view mirror above the cat gleamed with a reflection of blonde hair.

Dani typed, _so cute! thank you_ and added a cat-face emoji. As her reply blinked away, Dani bit her lip. The message linked her to the one firefighter she’d looked twice at.

If Sarah had noticed everything else about Dani, she hadn’t missed that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some mediocre Spanish...
> 
>  _Que Americana_ – That’s very like an American.  
>  _Típico gringa, eh?_ Typical white person.  
>  _La neta!_ – For real! The truth!  
>  _Los mas guapos!_ \- The handsomest!


	4. Turnout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moonshine Station needs to raise funds, so the firefighters are shooting a calendar. Dani saves the shoot for the camera-shy Grace. And - along with starting to belong somewhere - Grace starts to think that Dani might maybe, possibly see her as more than a friend.

Waking up, Grace felt a gentle touch on her face. She opened her eyes. Smokey was nose to nose with her, purring. Over the past two weeks, the kitten had flourished. And learned that Grace fed kittens when she got up. Grace rubbed the kitten’s tiny cheekbone, then reached for her phone. It was six A.M. Had Dani sent her a text?

She checked. No. At least, not since nine last night. Grace had caught that one: _Remember –photo day for the calendar tomorrow!_ Like all of Dani’s messages, it was sane, sweet, and friendly.

Grace scrolled down the list. Most of Dani’s messages followed on from Dani’s easy chatter when their shifts overlapped. _Good morning, stay safe, you said my lunch smelled good so here is the recipe, THIS CAT JAJAJA, Diego got boots on sale here, Smokey! (heart eyes cat face), Beth brought cookies._ All ideal for texts from your favorite work…friend.

Grace was in the middle of a three-day shift break. That meant she hadn’t seen Dani for two days, and she’d only had that one text. Her crush on Dani was at the point where the friendly texts caused a pang, but no texts was agonising. She groaned. At this sign of life, Smokey pounced on Grace’s feet.

Grace got up. Smokey wove around Grace’s ankles, making every noise possible – chirping, squeaking, purring, crying. Grace figured some day, the kitten would actually meow. “Nuh-uh. No breakfast for you. It’s vet day. You’re going to get fixed.” She put her phone down. “Trust me, it’s for the best.”

The tortoiseshell kitten was the darkest thing in the – Grace never knew what to call the place she was renting. Guest house? Chalet? Set from That 70s Show? The apartment perched above a double garage on a woodsy property. The owners had taste. They'd taken piney kitsch and made it bright and airy, white throughout, leaving the floor as glossy timber. The place was sparely furnished, walls bare. Grace had purged her stuff after leaving Napa.

The apartment was small, barely one bedroom. But Grace had seen the adjustable shower, high ceiling, and downstairs mud room, perfect for fire gear, and eyed up the comfortable gay couple who owned it. She’d offered to help out on the property if they rented it to her. They’d said yes. They’d also said yes to her keeping the kitten.

There wasn’t much for Grace to do at this time of year. She had just finished digging and clearing a firebreak – her own idea. Her first month here, that had kept Grace sane on her days off, wearing her out so she could sleep. Then Dani had arrived, and Grace had adopted Smokey, and life felt, well, fuller. Grace had still finished the firebreak. High summer was coming.

Smokey creaked and yowled outside the bathroom as Grace showered, washing her hair. Photo day, and she was getting her own page of the firefighter’s fundraising calendar. Great. She flexed in the mirror and smiled grimly. Thanks to the firebreak digging, she was in the best shape of her life. They’d better let her be who she was for her shots. Anyone who tried to get Grace to wear makeup was in for it. Diego was the photographer. Grace hoped he was smarter than that. She threw on a sports bra, a cropped black tank top – that was as low as she’d go – and a button-down station shirt, rolling up its long sleeves. They could take her or leave her. By now, it was seven. She popped Smokey into a new cat carrier and left.

At the vet’s office, Grace tried to look awake. The vet Dani had sent her to cooed over Smokey. “Such a cutie! She's put on so much condition since you brought her in two weeks ago. You can pick Smokey up any time after three. We’ll have the after-care handout for you.” Grace guessed she looked passable: the vet, Kate, smiled warmly at her. Kate was an attractive woman, a redhead almost as tall as Grace, but Grace wasn’t feeling it. Not after meeting Dani. She had it bad.

Grace stopped off for coffee (triple-shot latte) and a bear claw. The station uniform meant Grace got a firefighter’s discount. Another smile, too. Dani had been onto something with her idea of a calendar. Everyone else at the station had agreed. Gabe had flung himself into finding a calendar printer. Diego had bought a set of lights. All the firefighters had made shift meals without carbs and doubled their workouts. Today, Grace’s shift was off duty, but going in for photos. Grace had something else afterwards, too. At least Gabe had rostered them all for their sessions by the minute. It should go pretty quickly.

That went out the window when Grace arrived. Music was blaring from the rig room. _Pull up to my bumper baby! And drive it in between! Pull up to it, don’t drive through it –_ Grace did go through. The first person she saw was Dani, with a clipboard, ordering people around. Most of Ladder 69 was trying to get in Diego's way as he took photos of someone in front of a fire engine. Of all people to be naked to the waist, ripped and oiled, the model was...Carl.

“You need to have the expression in your eyes,” Carl said, deadpan, as he flexed. “Pull in the stomach, yes, bring the face forward. Then relax. It is not good to look, how to say, constipated.”

Gabe was hovering next to Diego, like Carl’s biggest fan. “Looking good, boss!”

Grace turned away to find a quiet spot to wait, then jumped. Sarah had done it again, appearing silently. She didn’t break her streak of not saying ‘good morning', frowning below her sunglasses. Annoyingly, Sarah looked good, coyote-blonde hair sleek in its ponytail, arms surprisingly defined. “Turns out Carl used to model in Los Angeles. He’s been in _International Male_.” Wearily, Sarah added, “You’re too young to remember.”

Grace knew she was missing something by not being outraged. “I guess. Are you getting a picture? You’re not a firefighter.”

“Thank you, Captain Obvious. Us ‘support staff’ get our headshots on the back to make us feel special.”

There was a silence. Gabe had taken Carl’s place and was mimicking all Carl’s poses. Watching him strain, Grace understood what Carl had meant about expressions. Finally, Grace said, “I hate having my picture taken.”

Sarah said, “I fucking despise having my picture taken. This headshot shit is going on our web site too. Our new web site. So any goddamn stalker can – ”

 _Stalker?_ Grace thought. Before she could think of a reply, someone else said, “There you are!”

It was Dani, holding a clipboard. Like Sarah, she’d chosen the short-sleeved station button-down, and looked even better in it. Her hair today was loose and waved. She was, somehow, glowing. “Sarah, you promised. I even altered our uniforms so they fit more – they fit better.”

Grace said, “You can sew?”

Dani beamed. “Yes! I tell Diego, he has his machine, I have mine. I would alter yours but you look perfect already, Grace.”

“Uh,” Grace said.

“Sarah, you are after Carl. We need your sunglasses off.” Dani held out a coaxing hand.

Grace wasn't surprised when Sarah surrendered the sunglasses, still grumbling. “Fine. If we all wind up axe murdered, it’s been nice knowing you.” Sarah stalked over to a different spot, with a blank wall behind her, as Diego turned the lights. 

Dani checked her clipboard. “Grace, will you put on the – what do they call the big trousers?”

Grace knew what Dani meant. “Just trousers. The whole firefighting outfit is the suit.”

“And are you going to take…some clothes…off?” Dani was a lot more hesitant about it than the first time she’d ordered Grace to do that.

The little pauses set Grace’s heart hammering. She unbuttoned her shirt, leaving her cropped tank in place, and hiked her fire trousers’ suspenders over her shoulders. “Will they let me get away with this?”

Dani bit her lip. “I think so. Did you get the, the tan they spray on?”

“No, I’ve been working outside on my days off. Doing a firebreak for my landlords. They’re nice but older.” She peered around Dani. “Shouldn’t I be up by now?”

They both turned. Diego was trying to get Sarah to smile, horsing around. Diego was saying, “You don’t like me? Dani says to you all the bad things I did as a kid?”

For an instant, Sarah cracked, with a wicked grin. “I’m sure you had nothing on a kid I knew.” Something about that made her gaze into the distance, suddenly somber. Diego kept snapping. Catching that, Sarah went hard. “Right. Show me what you’ve got. I’m letting you keep one and that’s it.”

“You sure? You have beautiful eyes. Very green.”

Sarah snorted. “Save it for your next model, kid.”

“Oh, god, that’s me.” Grace took a short breath. “I really hate this.”

Dani touched Grace’s elbow. “I will come with, okay?”

Before Grace could say something, Gabe barged over. “Enough girl talk! Get your pics done. We have our group shot in ten. Grace, aren’t you gonna wear makeup?” Grace broke out in a sweat.

“She is fine,” Dani said. “Go. Ah! This is to hold.” She handed Grace a firefighter’s axe. 

With the axe, Grace had something to do in front of the camera. When she held the axe up, Diego didn't say anything about makeup, or beautiful eyes. Instead, he was inspired to keep her moving. “Put it back behind your shoulders, yes! Now hold, like you rescue. Very yes! Make your chin low and look up.”

When Grace did, she saw Dani standing beside Diego, watching, eyes glossed by the bright lights, lips parted. Grace tensed her arms as they coiled around the axe, flexing her muscles. The camera whirred. “Perfect!” Diego said, echoing Dani’s words earlier.

Someone said, “Aw man, I wanted the axe!” The rest of Ladder 69 had returned.

Dani blinked and lifted her clipboard again. “Group shot for your ladder. All together, right here!” She stepped forwards to take the axe back from Grace.

“Thanks. Saved me, there,” Grace muttered. Did Dani blush, or was she just glowing from running around so much? She didn’t reply to Grace, instead herding the bare-chested men into place.

Grace didn’t like being told to kneel in the center, but they had to put her somewhere. Once the shot was set up Dani took the camera so Diego could be in it, too. Grace was struck by how serious Dani looked. Diego knelt beside Grace in front and said, “And for this last one we have a friend! Taco!”

Everyone cracked up as Diego’s dog zoomed over and bounced on Grace, trying to get to Diego. Only Gabe wasn’t laughing and reaching to pet Taco, protesting instead. “Hey! We didn’t talk about this. This is the cover! Everyone’s gonna think we’re a bunch of chuckleheads.”

“It’s Taco!” Diego said. “You said the girls like him, yes?”

“This is about us!”

Grace caught Dani looking heavenwards. Dani said, “Okay, okay, we do some serious. All right?”

Gabe shook his shoulders out. “Thanks, Dani. I’m glad someone’s professional.”

“Yeah, average work day here. Oiling our chests is standard operating procedure,” said Quayle.

"I don't think we're going to get any stalkers from these," Grace added, "no matter what Sarah says."

"Stalkers, huh?" Gabe said, like he didn't mind the idea.

“Smile!” Dani said.

One minute later, they were done. "Carb time! Woooo!" "I am gonna _stuff_ my _face_." Grace found that she and Dani had drifted together again. “What do you do now?” Dani asked.

Grace said, “Well, Smokey’s at the vet, getting fixed, so…”

Dani gasped. “Fixed! What is wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong! Uh, I’m getting her neutered? Sterilized?”

Dani’s expression cleared. “Oh, sterilized. But she is so small. A baby!”

Grace admitted, “Yeah, I am kinda worried. The vet said it’s OK to do it when a kitten weighs two pounds, though. Thanks for setting me up with her. I’m picking her up later.”

“The vet, or Smokey?” Dani asked.

Grace gaped, then Dani grinned at her and went on. “Let me know how Smokey is! Message me, okay? We must finish. Ladder Seventy for your group shot!”

Grace went off, leaving the next ladder lining up for Diego, Dani herding them, too. She would have felt guilty for leaving if she wasn’t off with Carl to a town meeting about the fire department.

Going into an office building was another world, soft and dull, gray partitions and a grayer meeting room. It was ten in the morning, but the civilians who worked here acted like this was early, grumbling and drinking coffee. Grace said hello to the station captains she’d met before. Right when they were about to start, someone said, “Hey! Captain Moonshine!”

Grace set her mouth hard as Moonshine Station’s absent captain breezed in late, holding a Starbucks trenta-size cup. He ambled down the meeting table, giving high-fives to his buddies, promising to take someone fishing. He settled in next to her. “Gracie! How’s it going! Great to have a woman on the team. They got you running the place yet?”

The meeting started. They discussed how they’d prepared for summer fire season. Captain Moonshine waved off concerns. “Ah, with this rain, we’ll be on budget.” Grace saw red, briefly, figures and names of places flashing through her, stabs of fires she’d fought.

Grace brought up what the Moonshine team were doing to manage the station’s cost overrun. Again, he waved it off. “Not a big deal, right? You kids are on it.”

One of the local police was there to discuss Big Bear’s possible arsonist. “The main piece of evidence we have is this.” The lights went down for them to watch a surveillance camera video.

It was stark, filmed in the sun of a wide parking lot beside a hill trail for hikers. A man with a bulky backpack, strung all over with a range of gear, face buried under a hat and a bandana, walked up to a trail sign, stared at it, and marched up the trail. Something about the way he swung his shoulders was familiar to Grace, but she didn’t know why. She didn't look at enough men to remember them consciously.

Someone said, “Why are we watching some loser who got lost on their way to Buring Man?”

“Look at the timestamp. Half an hour later, we got a call about a bushfire up the peak.”

Captain Moonshine said, “That’s a day trail – three hours there, three hours back. But that’s not a day pack he’s got. On any other trail, he might be through-hiking, but here…” They argued about it in the darkness until Grace felt like all the bones in her body had turned to metal. When the lights went up, she met Carl’s cool, almost mechanical glance.

To wrap up they discussed how Captain Moonshine was retiring in two months. “Got the shindig all planned – two weeks after the gays’re in town – wouldn’t want ‘em crashing, am I right? See you all at the Pines, August 29!” As the meeting dissolved, he socked Grace’s shoulder. “You were great. Just what they need. Sounding like a captain already. Look after my boys, Gracie!”

Grace was glad to leave for an early lunch with Carl, discussing both Moonshine and other stations. They agreed that Grace would pick up eight hours a week of captain’s administration, and try to fit in substitute shifts on some of the other ladders to learn about them. When Grace had finished her food, she asked, “Do we, uh, need to follow up on this potential arsonist? Do you think it’s for real, or just the old captain wanting to go out with a bang?”

Carl said, neutrally, “It is with the police now. There are less police this year, but many more cameras.“ He asked, as if the idea was foreign to him, “Do you have plans for the summer? A vacation sometime?”

Grace thought about Dani, new to California, all the places Grace could show her. “I’m new, so, no. I was going to stick to the area. How about you?”

Carl said, “I must go on vacation in August. My wife Alicia tells me I work too much. I am not a firefighting robot, she says.”

“That’s the problem, isn’t it? It’s our lives.” Carl nodded sagely. Then, he tried to pay for lunch, and wasn’t allowed to – not with two firefighters at the table. He left what their meals would have cost as a tip.

After that, Grace was free. Picking up Smokey went briskly. Grace was relieved to find her kitten asleep in the cat carrier. Dani was right. Smokey was just a baby. Inside her apartment, Grace thought about putting the case on the floor, then on the sofa. Neither of those seemed soft enough. Grace put the cat carrier on her bed and paused. What if the little scrap of animal didn’t wake up? She found that she wasn’t too worried. That awesome vet office would help.

Grace knelt down beside the bed, watching her kitten sleep. Her place was bright in the afternoon sun. She was having a life again at last, getting to know people. Being herself - mostly - and having it be all right - mostly. At the meeting today, it sure sounded like she was a strong candidate for station captain. And maybe, possibly, between the quiet moments and the sparkling chatter, Dani was, or could be, interested in Grace. Which would be its own set of problems. Grace knew that her love life was where she was most likely to fuck up.

Finally, carefully, Grace opened the carrier up. At the _snick_ of the wire door opening, Smokey stirred. Blinked. Stretched. And said, for the first time, “Meow.”

“Did they teach you?” Grace whispered. “Did they teach you how to meow?” She grinned like she hadn’t since – she couldn’t remember since when. Not any time this year, that was for sure. Grace scooped the kitten up against her shoulder. Smokey nestled into her neck. She held her pet there with one hand while fumbling her phone out with the other. Dani was going to love this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Pull Up To The Bumper" - Grace Jones.
> 
> The history of [International Male.](https://www.out.com/truman-says/2015/6/25/international-male-undergear)


	5. Tactical Ventilation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dani has been at Moonshine Station for a month. Diego's helpful if scatterbrained. Grace is very protective for a good friend. And Sarah winds up in the spotlight - for Gabe has a wild theory about Sarah that rocks Dani to her core.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note: the tension rises and there's a discussion about serial killers, FYI.

Waking up, Dani heard small sounds. She rubbed one of her cheekbones and checked her phone: five A.M. The sounds meant Sarah was doing her morning workout on the living room floor. Dani had lied and said it didn’t wake her. Half lied – she usually went back to sleep just fine, in this bed. She burrowed back into her pillow.

Living with Sarah turned out to be all right. Sarah had her quirks. The morning workouts, of course. Away from work, Sarah was always busy. Gardening (in a way that suggested she hated plants), going to a local shooting range, watching serious news, or reading serious books and magazines. Sarah had said, diffidently, that she tried to ‘keep up’ with current events. The one thing Sarah seemed to do for fun was riding her ‘bike’ – a tough, streamlined motorcycle.

Dani couldn’t resist peeping at her phone and last night’s message from Grace. Grace often sent pictures rather than text; a sunset, firefighter memes, cat memes, most of all pictures of Smokey. Dani hadn’t seen the kitten in person since her first day. Her work schedule and Grace’s had been off by a day, and that meant, when Grace was free, Dani was spending time with Diego.

Last Sunday, Dani had dared to ask Sarah if she could have Diego over for dinner. Sarah had said fine, as long as Diego brought Taco. “I trust someone with a dog, as long as the dog is there.” Dani thought that was adorable. She made ropa vieja – the delicious stew had been her mother’s specialty. Diego brought Taco and his guitar. Sarah had given in and joined them, going so far as to mix killer drinks after dinner. Diego and Taco had crashed on the sofa. It had felt a little like home, for one night.

When the TV news was off, Sarah’s house was quiet. Dani had never had so much time alone in her life. It was what she’d wanted. Somehow, having it didn’t feel as good as she expected, for it left her alone with herself. All of herself, including the parts she used to put aside.

In Mexico, despite crushes and even a few dates with women, Dani had always an excuse to not come out. Mami was sick; Mami had just died; Papi would be upset; what if Tio got upset or the cousins got angry when Papi was living there? Her life was slipping away, but her family needed her. Here, she was out of excuses, with Sarah calling her out, and all her family but Diego five hundred miles away. And Diego only made it worse!

The past two weeks, working on the firefighter's calendar, it seemed like Diego always had Grace on his laptop screen. Grace’s solo poses. Grace laughing and hugging Taco in the group shot. Diego kept asking Dani for advice about Grace’s pictures. Yes, he could do the same oily-charcoal lighting effect he’d done for the other firefighters, bringing out Grace’s muscles. No, he shouldn’t make Grace’s hair blonder or her eyes bluer – Grace was so blonde and blue-eyed already. Dani nearly fainted when asked which picture she liked best, Grace with the axe behind one shoulder, one arm beautifully flexed, or Grace with the axe in front of her, both arms strong, gazing so seriously into the camera. Dani chose the second one. She asked for a copy of it – to share with Grace, of course.

Dani hadn’t had the nerve to send it yet. Something about that would say, _this is how you look to me._ Was she ready? Would it ruin everything?

What was coming up would help Dani decide. Her shifts were aligning with Grace’s for a while, starting today.

Dani’s alarm chimed. Time to get up. By the time she made it to the kitchen for her breakfast, Sarah had sat down to a bowl of oatmeal, alternating bites with vitamin pills. Dani said, in Spanish, “Good morning! What are you taking today?”

Sarah poked at the vitamins and replied in kind. “Goddamn old lady pills. Got my standard multi, iron with folic acid, coenzyme Q-10, alpha-ketaglutarate, and my least favorite, fish oil. Mm mm good.”

Dani couldn’t resist. “What if, instead of all the pills, you ate a mango and a steak and a fish?”

Sarah huffed, amused. “You know the mangoes are shit here.”

“Oh, so true. Even at the market with the farmers.” They only had California produce there. Dani still went for her fix of tamales and champurrado, and to buy lots of other fruit. She whizzed up a smoothie for herself.

Dani asked if Sarah wanted to carpool that day. She said no: “I’m taking the bike in today. It’s my long weekend. I’ll probably go for a spin after work, maybe down to the beach – the real beach. Don’t wait up.”

Dani was quietly impressed. The California shoreline was a long way away. “We are partnered today, yes?”

“Yep. Fingers crossed.” Sarah shrugged on a jacket, picked up a motorcycle helmet and a backpack. “See you there.”

At work, Sarah was all business. Dani appreciated that. It was another thing that made living with Sarah work out. They clocked in and reviewed their equipment. Today’s extra job was checking oxygen tanks for patients and firefighters, testing breathing apparatus. They had just finished when a big callout came through, for the long tiller truck, extra ladders, and a paramedic pair.

Sarah passed Dani the tablet with their call details, reinforced so it was as thick as a pizza box. “This is a good one – P-1. Someone’s climbed a cellphone tower, and the P-1 lets us know they think we’ve got a crazy.”

In one minute, they were in the truck with Grace and Diego’s crew, on their way. Dani was crammed in the back, next to Grace. “Hey,” Grace said. Dani murmured her own hello. “I, uh, apologise in advance for sweating. Fire gear and summer don’t go together.”

“It is fine,” Dani said, distracted by the sheer length of Grace’s legs next to hers.

They went up some foothills, along a one-lane utility road, down a turnoff onto a grassy area cut from the pine forest. “A power corridor,” Grace said. Cable pylons marched down a lane cut through the forest. One was different, a tall pole with transmitters on top, and a lot of vehicles at the bottom. They moved to make room for the tiller truck. Dani saw a police van and a phone company van.

Getting out, they met the other people: twitchy technicians, two police officers, and two social workers. Gabe hustled forwards to the cops. “Hey there, what’s the brief?”

One of the social workers cleared her throat. “We had this probably-homeless guy get off the bus from L.A. a day ago. Wandering around, mumbling, parked himself in one of the churches. When we went to connect with him this morning, get him some services, he was gone. Meanwhile, these technicians came in and found him on top of the pole, saying,” the social worker sighed, “he’s trying to connect with aliens and save the world. We’re trying to de-escalate. But it doesn’t go so well when we’re shouting through a megaphone.”

Gabe barked with laugher. “Ha! Aliens!”

Sarah shouldered to the front. “Gabe, shut it. He won’t come down for us if he hears you.”

They all peered up. A man’s outline was ragged amongst the tower’s tech. A technician added, to Sarah, “Ma’am, there’s a lot of volts up there. If he tries to connect something and it blows, he could get electrocuted.”

Sarah put her sunglasses on, put her hands on her hips, and gazed up the tower. Her fingers tapped. “Get our ladder in place alongside – don’t make him feel trapped – and I’ll go up. I know what to do.”

Gabe said, “I’m this crew’s lieutenant and I’m in charge.” He turned to the firefighters. “Get our ladder in place beside and we’ll send Sarah up. She’s a nurse.”

Dani and Sarah went to one side as the firefighters set everything up. “What are you going to do?”

“Probably what nobody’s done for this guy in weeks.” Sarah took her sunglasses off. “Listen to him. Hold onto these for me, will you?”

Luckily, the tower height was a good match for the tiller’s ladder. The firefighters spaced themselves out around the rig. Grace murmured, “Dani, come stand behind me. He might have a gun.”

Dani gasped. “But Sarah – ”

“She’s up there. You’re down here. Please.” Dani tucked in behind Grace's amazing height. The social workers gravitated to the two women and chatted. Dani learned that so many homeless people bussed up here from Los Angeles that they had a special program, temporary housing to reduce crime, jobs in resort kitchens if they wanted to stay, emergency psych care. He would be all right – if he’d come down.

It was a long climb up, and the sun was getting hot. “She gonna make it? Old lady…” Gabe muttered.

“She will!” Dani said. All those morning workouts meant Sarah would.

Once at the top of the ladder, Sarah talked to the man for a while. They could just barely hear the two of them. Occasionally the homeless man shouted about God and the world, or yelped “Yes!” One time, the wind brought down Sarah saying, “I’ve seen some shit, okay?” It took so long that Dani broke away to bring everyone bottles of water from the tiller’s cooler.

Finally, Sarah yelled, “We’re both coming down. Hold your fire.” That took a while, too: the man froze on the ladder a few times.

At the bottom, Dani went over to greet Sarah and the man, bringing water. He was dirty and ragged, shell-shocked and sunburned, blue-gray eyes staring at something beyond them. The technicians, briefed by the social workers, said they weren’t going to prosecute this time, but he couldn’t do that again, okay? The man agreed, in a dull way. Dani said to the police, “He may have heatstroke. Get the air conditioner on in your van.”

Sarah clapped him on the shoulder. “You look after yourself, okay? Let them set you up. What’s your name?”

The man teetered under the confident force of Sarah’s hand. “Payne Thurston Winthrop.” At that, Sarah released him, and the social workers moved in. Sarah extracted herself, eyes downturned – suddenly, she was making herself small. Escaping.

Dani handed back her sunglasses. “Is he going to be okay?”

Sarah shrugged. “It’s in their hands now. The aliens in his head were onto something. Social services up here are better than in L.A.”

Shortly, they were on their way. Packed back into the truck, Dani had to admit the firefighters had gotten stinky. Diego was the first one to say, “Great work, Sarah,” and the others echoed it. In the rear view mirror, Dani caught Gabe, driving, looking back, eyes gone tight. Almost mean.

Back at the station, Dani basked in the air conditioning while they wrote up the incident. When they were done, she said, “It was really good to see you work today. That is the kind of thing we want to do, as medics.”

Sarah huffed. “Not me. I became a nurse because I got shot in the leg and hated having to hunt down a doctor about it. Bugged me for years – not the injury, but that I had to ask for help.”

Otis poked his head into the decon room. “Would you ladies like to join us 69ers for lunch?”

“I can’t answer honestly and stay employed,” Sarah said, standing up.

Upstairs, they were still talking about the callout. “That crazy guy, he reminded me of that movie – what is the one – Mad Max. Where Max has all the hair, the wild eyes.”

Arnie shook his head. “Payne Thurston Howell or whatever, man. I guess if the world ended we might all wind up like that. What would you do if there was an apocalypse and stuff?”

Quayle said, “I’d be dead. Sorry folks. The postapocalyptic death robots would get me.”

Gabe said, “I’d BE one of those postapocalyptic death robots.” He cocked one hand at Quayle, like a gun.

Grace sat up straighter. “I’d be fighting the death robots.”

Dani, beside her, said, “Me, too. I might even get everybody together to fight them. Diego, you would help, yes?”

“Oh, no. I would be dead, too,” Diego, laughed. “Very tragic. I’d die saving you. The people in the ruins would sing songs for a hundred years. Sarah, what about you? What would you be doing?”

“Surviving,” she said. So simply, and so grimly, that it weighed them all down.

There was a moment’s quiet.

Quayle turned it around. “Somebody’s not a Mad Max fan. Sorry if it’s a bummer.” Most of them nodded; Sarah made a waving-it-off gesture.

Otis had been taking his time. “I. Would be. A vampire using my vampire powers to fight the death robots. Like _Blade._ ”

The firefighters turned to him. “No, that was _I Am Legend_.”

“Nuh-uh, in that one the the bad guys were the vampires and – “

They all looked up as the callout alarm went. “Ladder 70 and paras. Medical, serious critical patient…”

“That’s us,” Sarah said. Dani held her breath and followed Sarah down the pole, faster than the stairs, to swipe up gear. Again, they were out in one minute. 

Ladder 70 had a smaller truck that could fight fires but went out more for all-around emergencies. This job was harder and scarier, and a lot of the work was on Dani. Someone at a family cabin was having a heart attack, the oldest man in the family. Keeping him alive called for shock paddles, CPR, airway management, all of it. He was still breathing when the ambulance got there: actually stood up and walked, unsteadily, into it. Dani sagged with relief. He had reminded her so much of Papi. The family was grateful and distracted, worried after the ambulance left. “Your turn to talk to them,” Sarah said. Dani did. And, remembering what she’d learned from Sarah that morning, did her best to listen more than she talked. Afterwards, Sarah talked her through the fine points of cardiac incident review.

By the time Ladder 70 got back, it was later afternoon. Dani felt wrung out – stressed but satisfied. As they sorted our equipment and filled out reports yet again, Sarah said to Dani, “You did good. Plus, you kept it together on shift with Diego. I was wondering about that.”

Dani said, “We are family. But we work together, too.”

“Glad to hear it.” Sarah looked sour. “I have an admin meeting from now ‘till end of shift. I’d rather eat all my horse pills again. Goddamn Carl. I’ll tell them they’re lucky to have you.” With that, Sarah left.

It was the first time that day Dani had had some breathing room. She thought about having coffee upstairs, or chatting to the dispatchers, but she wanted some quiet, and a word with Diego.

Dani found herself peeking into the station’s gym. It was really nice, almost new, plenty of room and equipment. But Dani understood why Sarah worked out at home. There were always men in there, sweating and grunting, letting weights slam down. Right now, Diego was there. He was with Gabe. They were both working out – firefighters worked out for an hour of their shifts. Gabe was lying on a bench, lifting a big set of weights over his chest. Diego stood by, hands poised in case the weights were too heavy. “Dani!” Diego said, pleased.

Gabe clanked the weights onto a rack over him and eeled out. He was in black lycra, a tank top and leggings and sleek trainers, all somehow reflective. His upper arms were banded with tattoos, one arm fire and badges, the other arm a mechanical tangle. Next to the always-rumpled Diego, he looked expensive. “Hey, Dani, got a second?”

Dani would have been nervous, but Diego was right there. Before she could answer yes or no Gabe said, “Did Sarah ever tell you about getting stalked?”

Dani shifted uneasily. “No?”

“She said something to Grace on photo day. I checked it out and it is _the shit_.” Gabe paced back and forth, his lycra workout gear reflecting light with an oily glimmer. “Hope you got a minute.”

“First, I gotta explain. You know I used to be a cop. Plus I’m super analytical. Got a mind like a computer. I make _connections._ Anyhow, Sarah and stalking. When that came up I thought, something seemed familiar. Sarah, stalking, it rang a bell. And then. I remembered.” Gabe said, proudly, “Serial killers!”

The Ramos siblings looked at each other for a long, baffled moment. Finally Dani said, “You are saying to us that Sarah was a serial killer?”

“No, no. A serial killer tried to kill her in the 80s. It was a big deal. Los Angeles. The Connor Killer. Big guy, some Skid Row bum who snapped one day, went through the Los Angeles phone book killing every Sarah Connor he could find. Anybody who reads up on serial killers knows about it.”

Diego said, uncertainly, “But…“

Dani shuddered with disgust. “Who reads about serial killers?”

Gabe held two fingers to the side of his head and said, dead seriously, “Cops! You have to understand the mind of the criminal to outwit them.”

Dani almost protested, and Diego tried again, saying, “Yes, but...”

Dani couldn’t stand it any longer. “Sarah’s last name is not Connor! It is Reese!”

“It’s Reese now. Doesn’t mean it always was.”

Dani bit her lips. Gabe was right. “Oh! Widowed.” Dani thought about Sarah’s distant son, and what his existence meant. “I never thought about Sarah married. When – “

Gabe cut her off. “Let me finish! This crazy hobo killed two other Sarah Connors, Sarah’s mom, her roommate’s boyfriend, her roommate. Then he tried to corner Sarah in a factory and he died in an explosion. They found his body and Sarah, she was knocked out, said she didn’t remember anything. It’s a total classic! Police academies love it, great case study.”

“Her mother…” Dani breathed.

“After all that, Sarah snapped. Went kind of loco, telling the cops all sorts of crazy shit. About a month in she vamoosed. Across the border to Mexico. This was 1984, right? Records sucked then. They lost track. Then Sarah Connor pops up in California again ten years later. Off the fuckin’ deep end! Crime, terrorist shit before every Waco wacko was doing that. She kills another guy in another factory and goes underground again.”

“This is too crazy,” Dani said.

Gabe wasn’t listening. “Last anyone heard of her was the end of the 90s. There was _one_ border record – Sarah showed up with a couple people. That was when the war on drugs was big. Bet you border police wanted what she knew. Sarah _Reece_ bought her house here six years later - in the same town where Sarah _Connor’s_ mom died. I’m guessing it’s the same Sarah, made a deal, got witness protection.”

Gabe had never been more smug. Diego’s mouth was open. Dani said, “How do you know this?”

Gabe held his chin up. “When I was a border cop we had access to the good shit databases. Not saying I can look at some of that now, but I’m not saying I can’t, y’know?” He whipped out his phone. “Check her out! Diego, you’re all artsy and shit. Tell me what you see. Young…old.”

Diego flicked back and forth between two images on Gabe’s phone. His expression went stricken. “Those clothes are 80s crazy. But…she was beautiful. Today, still the same mouth,” Diego said. “The same sad eyes.”

“Fuck,” Dani said. She sat abruptly onto a weights bench. “Why are you telling us this now?”

Gabe spread his hands. “Hey, I think it’s cool. An old lady killed a couple guys who tried to serial kill her dead? Good for her. But I dunno if I’d wanna be her roommate. So…I thought you should know.”

Gabe went on. “Like if you wanna come over sometime I can show you. I’ve got this sick gaming setup, see it all on three screens at once.”

Diego asked, “Does Carl know?”

Gabe strode back and forth again, excited. “I figure he’s totally in on it. Wanna bet he’s witness protected too? Listen to him. He’s not from here, sounds all European and shit!”

That was so ridiculous it revived Dani. She stood up with a stamp. Before she could yell at Gabe, the dispatcher, Sar, stuck her head in. “Hey, the calendars are here! We all look fantastic!”

Diego said, “ _Chido!_ ” and dashed off.

“Gotta see this. We’ll talk more later, hey?” Gabe sauntered after Diego. He couldn’t resist a last word. “Don’t let Sarah serial kill you, now.”

The rest of the day was a daze for Dani. She barely remembered glancing at the calendar. At the end of her twelve-hour shift, she stripped off her overalls, made final notes on the tablet, and left, with Taco.

In the heavy, golden summer twilight, Sarah’s house was empty. Dani was glad she had brought Taco with her. Feeding and walking and playing with the dog, Dani could stop thinking. About the locked doors of Sarah’s gun room: Sarah’s bottles of vodka in the freezer. That reminded Dani how Sarah had said she could borrow one of the pre-made dinners if she ever wanted. Dani was so drained and hungry, she opened the freezer and took one. Tonight, there was a space in the freezer. One bottle had been pried out. Had Sarah taken it on her ride? Dani had been waiting for a good moment to say _bebes mucho, Sarah, qu é pasa? _If Gabe was right, it explained so much. Too much.

Dani did a few internet searches, and shuddered again. Gabe wasn’t alone in having a greasy fascination with serial killers. Dani tossed her phone away and checked Sarah’s bookshelves. History and the military, technology, fitness, cookbooks, an entire shelf of something called _The Whole Earth Catalog_. No books about serial killers. Dani relaxed a bit.

Dani decided she didn’t want a beer. Instead, she treated herself to a horchata, cinnamon dashed on top, and a long soak in the downstairs bathroom tub. With lavender bubbles, and all the warm water she wanted. Taco watched, fascinated, and stuck his nose in the bubbles, and sneezed. Dani giggled. Despite that, and being drained after the long day, Dani had a terrible time sleeping.

When Dani did drop off, her dreams wove everything from the strange day together as nightmares. Post-apocalyptic serial killer robots chased her and Sarah. Crazy men yelled things that were true. Grace was in the dreams, too, super-strong, still determined to protect Dani. Carl was a robot, pretending to be human, that was all right. Gabe was a robot too and in the dream, that wasn’t, because Diego – _Diego_ –

Dani jolted upright, blind with terror. Taco was pacing beside her bed, whining. Dani patted the bed and the dog jumped up for a hug, licking her. Dani clung to him for a good ten minutes, burying her face in Taco’s white fur. Why didn’t Sarah have a dog, Dani thought, strangely. Sarah liked them, Dani could tell. When she was composed enough to give Taco a final pat, she said, “Good boy. Your bed.” Taco hopped down and made a big, adorable production of curling up in his dog bed. That, and Dani’s mother’s sewing machine, were Dani’s biggest additions to the room. “Good boy,” Dani sighed again.

Dani stretched out and allowed herself to imagine holding onto Grace instead. The heartbreaking protector of her dreams. Grace would be comforting, too. Dani imagined tracing her hands over Grace’s oiled muscles, the smell of smoke clinging to golden hair, serious blue eyes turned to her. That left Dani hot and bothered and restless, more aware of her own body than she’d ever been. But that was better than nightmares. And in her tangled dreams, one thing about Grace hadn’t been a nightmare. Somehow, amidst the end of the world, they’d been lovers.

Tossing and turning brought Dani to six A.M. Thank the Virgin, today was one of her days off. She took Taco out briefly and saw Sarah’s bike wasn’t in the garage. Then Dani fed Taco, and did the last, necessary thing. She messaged Grace.

_diego gave me your photo from the calendar to send you_

She sent Grace's stunning picture. Then, she typed more.

_can I come see Smokey tonight? will make you ropa vieja_

Dani clicked _send_ and immediately panicked. What if Grace was on call? When Dani brought her leftovers to work, Grace hovered admiringly, most of all when Dani brought ropa vieja. Except the name meant ‘old clothes’ and maybe Grace thought Dani was going to turn her into old clothes and -

The phone in Dani’s hand pinged. _Yes. What time? Six?_

Dani felt herself smile. Grace always wrote her text messages like she was getting graded on them at school. She replied, _Perfect_.

That done, she sank against the deep pillows and sighed. Talking to Grace would make everything all right.

Dani was asleep in two minutes, and stayed that way, dreamlessly, until noon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Chido_ = Cool!  
>  _bebes mucho, Sarah, qué pasa?_ = You drink a lot, Sarah, what’s up with that?
> 
> One of the ‘slow’ parts of this story is partly how I’m writing in 2020, because 2020, amirite? I may or may not be skipping a week in updates with things happening here - don't worry, I will be back!


	6. Thermal Balance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grace has Dani over for dinner. Is it going to be more than that - or is Grace, after her heartbreaker's life, going to try and behave?

Dani was supposed to arrive in five minutes, and Grace was panicking.

Not because the place was a mess – it wasn’t anymore, after a frantic day. Not because she wasn’t ready – she wore three colors, black, white, and blue, so anything she put on went together. But, when she’d vacuumed, her kitten, Smokey had panicked. Smokey had wedged herself as deep under the bed as she could go. Now Grace was lying down beside the bed, trying to coax Smokey out.

“Smokey! Pss pss pss. C’mere, kitten. Baby. Come out.” Grace could, maybe, see a gleam of kitten eyes, but no movement.

Grace swiped under the bed with a cat toy. Nothing.

“Oh, come on, fuzzbutt. Don’t do this to me. She’s going to be here any second to see you.”

Grace lowered her forehead to the floor and breathed. If Smokey would come out, everything would be fine. They’d play with the kitten and have something to talk about and things would stay light and easy. She was going to have dinner with a female workmate. Be supportive. Bond. Find out, say, how old Dani was and if she was seeing anybody. If their hands happened to touch, or she needed to detach the kitten from Dani, Grace could figure a lot out from that. Like, how work-appropriate the dinner had to stay. Should she move the bed and grab Smokey, or –

Too late. The awful 70s doorbell buzzed. Smokey would never come out now. Grace sprang up anyway, to go downstairs and let Dani in.

After the fluster of getting Dani up the narrow stairs with two bags of groceries, Dani gazed around, and Grace gazed at Dani. It was the first time she’d seen Dani out of station blues. Dani wore immaculate jeans, tiny red flats, and a yellow t-shirt. As Dani blinked up at the ceiling, Grace caught the glint of coral earrings. “This is really nice,” Dani said, right as the lowering sun framed her.

“Uh, yeah.” Grace punched her own thigh, annoyed at herself.

Suddenly, Dani smiled brilliantly. “ _Ah! Gatita!_ ”

Grace almost had a heart attack as Smokey calmly stepped out from behind the bed, tail up. Dani fell to her knees. Smokey came right over, sniffed Dani’s outstretched hand, and actually began licking her.

“Wow, she really likes you,” said Grace, trying to not feel jealous of a kitten.

Again, Dani’s sunshine smile flashed. “That is because I smell like delicious beef! I cut some of the meat before I came over, so it will cook faster.”

“I’ll, uh, unpack for you.” Dani had brought more than Grace expected. Not just main dish fixings – the jars and cans made it clear this was complicated – but crumbly cheese, tortilla chips, three kinds of salsa, and a bag of rice. This done, she turned and watched Dani playing more with the kitten. Dani was half bent over now, and Grace could see exactly how well her jeans fit.

“Good!” Dani said, and flowed up. “Let me get cooking. I sent you the recipe, so, watch and you will see.”

“Great. I’ve wanted to get more protein in my diet,” Grace said, looking Dani up and down again.

Dani didn’t seem to notice. “This takes a while, but it is very easy…” Dani slid an elastic off her wrist and, matter of factly, snapped her hair into a ponytail. Grace swallowed. Dani enveloping herself in an apron only took the edge off slightly.

The dish might have been easy, but Grace didn’t take a lot in. The steps were the same as for most stews – saute veggies, sear meat, work up some kind of broth, let it all do its thing – but watching Dani’s clever hands fly, Grace found it hard to listen. Especially when Dani put those warm brown hands on top of Grace’s to encourage her to cut onions differently, or clicked her tongue and said Grace should sharpen her knives.

Finally, Dani put the lid on the pan of meat, simmering beside a pot of rice. “Now cook it for three hours.”

“Three hours?” Grace said, dismayed.

“Yes, it needs the long heat. It will be ready after nine. The perfect time for dinner. It will be better tomorrow, too.”

At their ankles, Smokey squeaked. “Somebody’s hungry now,” Grace said. “If you put her food bowl down for her, she’ll love you forever.”

Smokey yelled while Grace dished out the cat food, dashed back and forth between her and Dani, and flung herself onto the bowl Dani put down. “She purrs as she eats!” said Dani, enchanted.

“What do you like to drink?” Grace asked.

They settled on the couch with craft beers. Grace realized she hadn’t thought much since getting the text from Dani this morning. She’d replied _Yes,_ and gone through the day preparing. This was the awful part of being outside work: having to make conversation. At work, Grace could do something. She was better at that. She could start with food talk, at least.

“This is awesome, thanks. It already smells great. Next time I totally have to make you dinner.”

Dani bowed her head. “Please do not worry. It was bad manners to invite myself over.”

“No! No. I’d been meaning to…”

Dani picked at the label on her beer bottle. “I wanted to talk with you about something.”

Grace’s immediate thought was that _she_ couldn’t be the problem if Dani was willing to trap herself here for three cooking hours. Who was it, then? Diego, or Sarah, or Gabe, or another para or firefighter?

“Shoot.” Dani looked at Grace blankly. Grace said, “I mean, please tell me.”

It turned out that it was Sarah _and_ Diego _and_ Gabe. All mixed together with warnings Grace had received growing up in Los Angeles. _Don’t put your first name in the phone book or – two women got killed in the 80s –_ And that had almost been their workmate Sarah. Sarah had survived that notorious serial-killing case. Then she’d spent something like two decades dealing with it, mostly on the lam in Mexico, before winding up here, in Big Bear. Grace sat there in stunned silence as Dani went through her part, Diego’s, and Gabe’s, mimicking Gabe’s cool confidence as he spun his conspiracy theory. Which held up better than Grace wanted it to when Dani started pulling up links on her phone.

When Dani had finished, all Grace could say was, “Fuck.”

Dani put her hand over her heart. “It is not only me, then. I mean, I am so ordinary. I have this nice normal life. But Sarah – what she went through is like a, a horror movie, the news, so bad. And Gabe talks about it like he feels nothing. Only like he has won by knowing it.”

“It’s not just you. It’s seriously fucked up. Diego just let Gabe go on?”

“Ask Diego to help, he will always, always. But you must ask.” Dani frowned. “Since Mami died, he is…not weak…always looking to follow. This, it put him between me, his sister, and Gabe, his boss.”

Grace suddenly felt she had a grip here. “Okay, listen. Despite what Gabe says, a lieutenant is not, strictly speaking, a firefighter’s boss. Technically that’s the station captain. Except right now our station captain sucks.” Grace paused. “That means he’s shitty. Not good at his job.”

“Truly,” Dani said. “I have seen him maybe once.”

“And from what you said Gabe hasn’t mentioned this to the captain, or to Carl, our area’s chief.” Grace had to snort. “He really thinks Carl is in witness protection?”

Dani laughed a little, softly. “I don’t know.”

Grace put her hands on her knees. “I know what this is about. Remember the callout yesterday? The crazy guy on the phone tower? Sarah was great.” She really had been. Grace had a new respect for the old crank after that. It could have gone so badly – especially with Gabe there. “She was great and we all knew it.”

“Yes, everyone says. It is good to see.”

“It’s also station politics. Sarah stood up to Gabe and resolved the callout, so Gabe wasn’t the hero. So I think he pulled this shit about Sarah out to make her look bad to you and Diego. Make her sound crazy. It’s called gaslighting.”

“ _Que cabr ón de mierda!” _Dani was alight, incredulous, as the pieces fell into place for her. “Politics, I understand. Even for that, so mean!”

“I mean…is she crazy? You’re living with her. You’d know,” Grace said, hopefully. 

Dani didn’t respond as quickly as Grace would have liked. “Not crazy, but…if this is true…I understand her better, now. All the things at her house. All practical. To help a person survive.” Dani glanced to the side. “Would you like some chips while we wait?”

They couldn’t possibly be done with this, but Grace could tell when someone was changing the subject. “I’d love some. Uh…your mom died?”

Dani said, simply. “Yes. Cancer. I was fifteen – I had just had confirmation. Diego was thirteen. I am twenty-three now.”

Nine years younger than Grace. “I’m sorry. About, uh, your mom. How did you and Diego wind up, uh, start working in emergency services?”

Before unbagging chips, Dani checked the rice and moved it off the hot burner. “Two years past, I was working in a car factory. A very good job – I got the first aid qualification there. I got a job for Diego, too, but three months after he starts, he is fired. A new machine took his place.”

 _Assholes,_ Grace thought. “Couldn’t he run the machine?”

“The person who ran it came down from here. My boss, he said Open Borders made it happen earlier than it would have, since it is so much easier for people to move. Diego was miserable, and I was so angry. I told Diego,” Dani opened the chip bag, “Fuck this. We should work at something people really need and this will not happen again. He is a good driver, he is fit. So he passed the tests in Mexico and trained as a firefighter, while I study.” Dani sighed a little. “Mami died and I am the oldest and only daughter. So sometimes I am Mami as well, when the family needs it.”

“Oh God, tell me about it. I grew up protecting my younger brother, too.” Grace pulled out a big bowl and a small one, and watched eagerly as Dani filled it with the homemade-looking chips.

“Ah! Are you close?” Dani opened one of the salsas, too. It smelled divine.

Grace shrugged. “He’s in his twenties, being a Silicone Valley genius. Last time I heard from him he didn’t ask how I was, just ranted about that Senator Connor reducing the value of his stock options.”

“What about your mother and father?”

“Mom’s pissed at me because I didn’t quit firefighting after breaking my leg in January. Dad, I’m still his tomboy, but his new wife and her kids are keeping him busy.”

“They are divorced?” Dani asked.

“They split up when I was eleven. Typical L.A. drama. Both remarried now. At the time, I was young enough for it to feel like the end of the world, y’know?” Grace coughed. “I may have kind of acted out in my teens. Didn’t have the best grades. I’d be covered in tattoos if I could make up my mind, which I can’t.” That had shown up in Grace’s chaotic love life, too. Only Grace’s first crush, who she’d been too shy to talk to, and her last lover, who’d dumped Grace so painfully and completely, had escaped unscathed. “Fire service was the right thing for me.”

Remembering the romantic carnage she’d left behind her reminded Grace of something important. Grace asked Dani, “I hate to go back to all that weirdness yesterday, but. Has Gabe asked you out? Hit on you?”

“No! And it is strange, you know? Half of the rest of the station has,” Dani observed.

Grace almost choked on a chip. “Really? I mean, yeah. It’s hard dating anyone outside fire and emergency. Shit, new guys at the station ask me out, in the nanosecond between getting hired and finding out I’m a dyke." Grace threw that in with studied casualness. Dani, she noticed, didn't blink. Station gossip was weeks ahead of this conversation. "I don't get mad about it if they're reasonable. In firefighting, even straight women are pretty tomboyish. You get the occasional ultra-femme, like our lead dispatcher Loretta, but they’re tough as nails.” _Like you might be in a few years,_ Grace thought. _Not in a bad way…_

Dani said, “Hm. Since Mami died I have not been able to look at a dress. Maybe I should.”

“Do you, uh, have a boyfriend?” Grace shut herself up with another chip.

Dani looked away sharply. “No. I think I’m a lesbian, too.”

Grace did choke on her chip, and Dani had to smack her between the shoulder blades. Grace coughed. “Thanks. Good thing you’re a paramedic. Uh – you say you _think?”_

“It is part of why I wanted to try America. But I have not told Diego yet.”

This was great, and this was awful. “Diego won’t hear it from me. This is about you and you get to say what you want to him when you want.”

Grace let Dani tell her story. Soon, she was amazed at how tough Dani was. She’d come to this out of a different life from Grace’s, quietly determined, both proud and vulnerable. Grace had to laugh when Dani told her how Sarah had clocked her right away because Dani hadn’t looked twice at the firemen. That hadn’t occurred to Grace, who never looked twice at them, either. In return, she talked about how she’d grown up and come out, what the different queer scenes were like – Los Angeles, San Francisco, places like the Napa Valley compared to Big Bear.

“Since we’re keeping tales out of school, here, I want to say I’m nonbinary. It’s.” Grace paused. There were no more chips, damn it. “I’m not great describing it. It just…fits. But everyone says,” Grace made her voice squeaky, “‘It’s so great you’re a woman, you’re a rule breaker, a role model’. Y’know? Maybe in a year or so I’ll say it at work, if things keep going the way they are. Ten years ago, being out at work just as a dyke was huge.”

Dani looked thoughtful. “It has not been ten years. But let us see how the ropa vieja is.”

“It seems like ten years. I’m hungry.”

Dani waved a teasing finger. “You cannot say that to me, Grace. That is a challenge!” At the stove, she poked at the lumps of meat, which looked like they’d turned to coal, until Dani took two forks, stuck them into a chunk, and pulled. It fell apart into savory shreds. “Perfect. Now we make the sauce.”

That part only took ten minutes. It took them twenty minutes to destroy half of it, with the rice and more salsas and tortillas. They talked about mothers and cooking, and Grace enjoyed making Dani laugh by telling her about awful American food, working her way up from green-bean casserole to deep-fried whole turkey. "That's going to keep us busy at work in November. Three people set their decks on fire frying turkeys last year." It was something, Grace thought, to watch Dani writhe with laughter, flushed and sparkling. 

When the dinner plates came out, Smokey had decided she loved both of them _very much_. Grace gave in put a few scraps on a plate for the kitten. Afterwards, while she did dishes, she showed Dani Smokey’s cat toys. Dani made fun of the amount of cat toys - "Your daughter is very spoiled" - and at how unstoppable Smokey was in play mode. Until the kitten paused, blinking, and meowed plaintively. Grace had just put the last dish away. She scooped Smokey up, cupped the little animal against her left shoulder.

“She likes to be held like this. Misses her mom.” Sure enough, Smokey nudged her head under Grace’s chin and began to knead. Dani thought this was the cutest thing she’d ever seen. Grace set herself to endure Smokey’s increasingly sharp claws. Luckily, Smokey got squirmy again, and Grace put her down.

Dani had watched it all. “Do you want to keep what is left of the ropa vieja? To say thank you.”

Surprised, Grace said, “What are you thanking me for?”

Dani gazed up at Grace with those dark drowning-pool eyes and proceeded to sink her. “Listening. Saying I can call any time. Being a friend.”

Fuck. Grace couldn’t hit on her. Not with Gabe hovering, and Dani still sad about her mother’s death, working through coming out on her own terms. Being so fucking alone that she considered Grace a friend. Not with the way almost all of Grace’s relationships had finished up. “Uh, yeah.”

Grace’s reward for that was the most perfect hug of her life. Sweet and natural and warm, with a little head-lean from Dani that shut Grace’s brain down. She let it go on longer than she should have, because – there was no other way to say it – Dani fit perfectly against her.

Dani’s phone chimed. She let Grace go to check it. “Ten thirty already! I should go. I am on shift tomorrow.”

Grace muttered, “Yeah, me too. At least I get to nap once in a while. But I’ll see you there.”

“Yes. But no Smokey. Ah, see, she is asleep!”

Grace's bedroom door was slid half-open. In there, for a twelve-week old kitten, Smokey was doing her best to stretch across Grace’s freshly-made bed. Grace smiled wryly, thinking of the hot pussy action those sheets weren't going to see tonight, after all. “I’ll walk you down.”

Afterwards, Grace went up to her bedroom window and watched Dani drive off. She stood there for a while, letting it all settle inside her. The yearning. The ache. The outrage, at others and herself. The searing touch of Dani’s hand. The hug she’d never wanted to leave.

Ten minutes later, Smokey blinked and stretched, woken by Grace rummaging in a bedside table. The kitten pounced close to peep at a tangle of wires and unusual shapes. Grace pulled out a vibrator, then paused. It had been a while. And there was something else. She went to Smokey’s bowls in the kitchen and shook out a little dry food. The kitten bolted over.

Grace said, “Take your time. You’re too young for this.” Then, with a raw sigh, she mostly-shut her bedroom door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! Gatita! - OMG KITTEN  
> Que cabrón de mierda - That shitty beyond-asshole


	7. Direct Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dani talks to Sarah about Sarah's past, and, after that, approaches her present with new, wider eyes. And that includes Grace.

Dani drove through the night feeling calm and tired. It had helped to talk to Grace, cook with her, play with Grace’s kitten, all in a home that wasn’t haunted with hints of Sarah’s dark past. Dani could deal with the conversation she would soon have with Sarah, now, however it ended.

Dani knew she didn’t _have_ to talk to Sarah about it. Talking to Sarah wouldn’t be easy. _Hello, Sarah, is it true that you lived through a serial killer attacking you in the 1980s? That you maybe did some crimes? That you are in witness protection?_ But she wanted to. It was so big, and so strange. Also, Sarah was sharp enough to tell if Dani was feeling odd or holding something back. Sarah had been kind to Dani, in her rough way. Dani wanted to be honest with her.

She got home around eleven. Sarah was back at last, perched in the dim living room, sipping a drink, ignoring a bowl of potato chips. The television blared one of Sarah’s political shows – she recorded them if she was working, and watched them later, like they were her homework. This show was California's Senator Connor, again, the one who had worked on the Open Borders and limiting AI, being interviewed. Sarah didn’t stop watching to say hello.

_Senator Connor: Some people think that if you don’t have a certain background – like, if you were a waitress, or if you spent time in foster care – you’ll never make it to Congress. This session of Congress, there’s a couple of us proving that wrong._

_Oprah: What made that possible for you?_

_Senator Connor: Someone who looks out for you, who puts you first – really turns your life around. There was someone like that for me when I was ten. They weren’t in my life a long time, but they made a difference._

_Oprah: An adult who made a difference._

_Senator Connor: An adult - what is an adult, really? (audience laughs: he lets them before saying) This person showed me that it was a bigger world than I thought. That there’s so much potential, for good and bad. Anything can happen. And they showed me that what I did mattered. That one person could change history._

_Oprah: A teacher?_

It was Senator Connor's turn to laugh a little, smiling wryly, in a way Dani found oddly familiar. _You could say that._

Sarah paused the replay and turned to Dani. Tonight, in the room’s harsh shadows, Sarah looked her age, tired and harrowed. “I’ll turn in now that you’re home.”

“No, no. I want to ask you something.” Dani sat on the other end of the sofa. “Yesterday, one of the firefighters talked about you to me and Diego. He said that you had an interesting past. Is it true?”

Sarah’s face hardened. “Why don’t you tell me what he said, and I’ll let you know?”

Dani filled Sarah in. She went through what had been said, what she’d seen online, admitted that it had been Gabriel Nueves who had brought them the story.

When Dani was done, Sarah poured herself more vodka, drank it. Finally, she said, “Witness protection my ass. Every six months to a year, someone figures it out. Carl did, fourteen years ago.”

“Ah!” That was why Sarah had her unenthusiastic attitude towards Carl.

“I’ll say this for Carl, he didn’t hit on me when he brought it up.”

“What!” Dani cried.

Sarah said, wearily, “People are freaks, honey.”

Dani lowered her eyes. After what she’d seen online, seen in person with Gabe’s triumph about knowing, that was so true it was uncomfortable.

Sarah went on. “After twenty-odd years of trying to outrun who I’d been, I said, fuck it. I wanted something of my life back. The town I grew up in. My own hair, damn it. I decided that if trouble came looking for me I’d give it trouble right back. I’d go where I wanted to be and make a life I could live with. My son was doing great, I thought. College scholarship, internships. But the better he did, the more we grew apart.”

Dani held her breath, and her tongue.

Sarah turned forwards, facing the screen. “When he was a kid, he and I, we were close. I was on my own. Whoever I shacked up with, they always fell short. I had to be both mom and dad. At times, I fell short, too. Plus, after all the shit you heard about, I was wary. You know, I don’t have a photograph of him as a kid. I never took any. I thought that… I know I sound paranoid.” Sarah took a breath. “But now I’m forgetting his face.”

Dani said, softly, “Your child’s face.”

Sarah stared at the paused television screen, the frozen smile of that senator. “His face as a child. The man is out there, but…”

There was a moment’s quiet, echoing with loss. Dani ached for this woman trying to have a life; the son who, Dani suspected, had never been able to be a child, amidst it all. Dani said, “I am sorry. “

Sarah drank again. Then, she said, “Ready to move out now?”

Dani had already thought about this on the drive home. She leaned in, towards Sarah’s bowl of potato chips. She took one. “Your Spanish could be better, yes? And your frozen dinners, they are not so bad.”

Sarah huffed her scant laugh. “Don’t hold back on my account. Just say it.”

That was very Sarah. “It is a lot. But I know how it is when something happens to you and it is so big, so much drama, that it is hard to talk about. My mother died. That is normal, I know, but sometimes people say, oh, you say it so I feel sorry for you, or that is why you do everything you do. It is not, but…people do not listen.”

“Tell me about it. After the shit I went through, I always want to tell people, 'Every day from this day on is a gift. Use it well.' I don’t have the New Age whatever to make people listen to that without the whole goddamn story. So, instead, I drink.”

Dani dared to rest a hand on Sarah’s shoulder. “I am listening.”

Sarah let that hand sit there for a minute. “Then I’ll buy you a drink.”

Dani slid her hand away to take another chip. “These are good, thank you.”

“Hey, a drink isn’t the same as chip privileges.” Sarah's knowing smile echoed the man paused on screen. They both laughed. Dani felt a new normal settle in around them. One where they could each breathe easier. They stayed up until midnight, picking apart the station, agreeing to not say anything to Gabe unless he brought it up again. Sarah concluded, “There’s not a lot he can do to me. But you watch your back, kiddo.” Dani had to agree.

As the summer rolled on, Dani thought a lot about what Sarah had said.

The California hills went from green to brown. Dani didn’t go to the fireworks on the fourth of July. As many emergency staff as possible were on call that night. Dani didn’t go on a vacation, either, like other staff did soon after – she had just started at the station, after all. But it seemed like she did everything else she could in a California summer, and she did her best to make the most of it.

She went to a July 5th barbecue at Moonshine Station, hosted by Carl. All the firefighters and staff were there. Dani hit it off immediately with Carl’s calm wife, Alicia, and his son Mateo. Mateo, two years younger than Diego, had yet to fill out. Mateo was also, by the way he followed Grace around, hopelessly smitten. Dani couldn’t blame him for having good taste. Grace didn’t seem to notice.

Moonshine Station’s lead dispatcher, Loretta, had another get together, mostly for support staff, with a few partners. Loretta’s kids taught Dani what her own life as a kid in America might have been like. Playing on slip n’ slides, eating Otter Pops, firing super soakers, but only inside the yard. Loretta’s kids told Dani they couldn’t play with anything like a gun away from home, because the police didn’t like brown people. Dani nodded, somberly, and told the children she’d be careful.

At the end of July, Quayle invited his ladder and the younger support staff to an epic blowout at his house. There was a thrash band, and a troupe of contortionists and fire eaters stopping by between festivals, practicing and showing off. Dani listened to their stories about yet another America. Dani drove Grace home from that at three in the morning. Grace asked her to, because the contortionists, Grace told Dani, languidly, had brought the _best_ weed. Also, wasn’t the moon awesome? And did Dani know that she had an amazing profile? In fact, Dani was (long pause) amazing. Dani had said Grace was lucky that weed was legal, now. The next day, Grace messaged, _Was I weird last night_ , and Dani had replied that she had been very, very cute, and sent a picture of a cat rolling in catnip.

She and Diego also went over to Gabe’s with a few of the firefighters. Grace wasn’t there. Dani missed her. Gabe’s place was a clean white apartment in a compound. Diego was rapt over Gabe’s gaming setup. Dani didn’t like it – all those black cables looked evil, somehow. She perched, and smiled politely, and wondered why she’d been invited, uneasy as the only woman there. Waiting, as she had for weeks, for Gabe to say something else about Sarah. But he didn’t, and the way he didn’t had a waiting feel.

Dani decided to keep Sunday night dinners, when they could happen, just her and Diego and Sarah. They were all getting along so well. Once, Dani thanked Sarah for being so patient, listening to Diego talk about his music. Sarah said, “Oh, I’m not listening to him. I just like watching his mouth move.” Dani had laughed, of course. But she decided later it was a pity that Diego wasn’t older, or Sarah wasn’t younger. Sarah should have a nice boyfriend, somebody she trusted enough to sleep next to. And a bossy girlfriend would be good for Diego – and would give Dani more breathing room, too.

As it was, Dani and Grace managed to spend an evening together about once a week. They met more often when the Olympics were on, watching women’s sports with plates on their laps, Smokey leaping off the sofa to bat at the TV screen. These evenings were never long enough. Because time with Grace was also a certain kind of space. The space that Dani had been looking for, where she could be herself. She didn’t want to lose that. No matter how fast Grace made her heart beat, or how she, too, lost track while listening to Grace, entranced by Grace’s full, slightly chapped mouth.

On an evening in August, they had just watched the last game of the Olympics that they’d see together, women’s fencing. After watching two fencers stare intensely at each other for a full round, moving in sync, Dani asked, “Do the athletes fall in love with each other?”

Grace snorted, alarming Smokey. The kitten dashed away, leaving only a warm spot between her and Grace. Grace said, “I hear they sure fall into bed with each other. The Olympics staff make sure there’s thousands of condoms available.”

Dani watched the women fencers, getting their medals after all that intense eye contact. “These ones would not need the condoms, yes?”

Grace said, “That kind of depends…”

Dani turned away from the screen and got caught by Grace’s expression. Grace was intense and still, with an athlete’s focus, but all for Dani – serious blue eyes gazing at Dani the same way the fencers watched each other. Like Dani’s profile, her being, was amazing, even when Grace wasn’t stoned. Dani felt giddy, remembering her own sidelong glances, the feelings she’d tried to put aside as a crush on her first gay friend. Remembering, too, Sarah’s words, to use each day, each moment, well.

Dani leaned over and put her hand on Grace’s knee. “Depends? What does that mean? I think I know, but…you tell me.”

Grace actually blushed. Dani had the urge to cup Grace’s stunning face in her hands. She opened her mouth to say something more clear about it all, and Grace paused to let her do that, and -

Dani’s phone strummed with a call tone, a clip of guitar playing. She jerked back. “Sorry, it is Diego – maybe something happens. I always worry.“

Grace said, “No, no, I understand.” Grace turned away, mouth tightening, as Dani answered. Her brother’s voice, her family language, swept Dani away from the moment she’d almost had with Grace. Usually that sense of family was warm. Tonight it had a chill, for all that Diego had good news. Dani didn’t say much (Diego was barely listening to her, anyway) and she hung up quickly.

Grace asked, “Is Diego okay?”

“Very okay.” Dani slid her phone into her bag. “He has a – he is going to play his guitar and sing in a bar. Before a band plays.”

Grace beamed. “He’s opening for someone? That’s awesome! Where? When?”

“He was too excited to say. But he wants everyone to come. And he asks me to call Papi for him.” Dani stood up. “I will call from my car. It is getting late.”

“Oh. Yeah. Uh.” Grace cleared her throat. “I guess you’d better.”

It was all so clumsy, compared to the fencers they had watched five minutes ago. Dani left, feeling as deflated as Grace looked - but also sparked with determination. Sometime soon, she’d have the gift of more time with Grace. And when she did, after tonight, she’d do her best to make the most of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AU note! The ‘Senator John Connor’ ending for _Terminator: Judgement Day_ got deleted for many reasons – including this tidbit: ‘The entire ending was ultimately deleted, in favor of a more ambiguous and less cheery ending, also because a juvenile delinquent like John could not plausibly have become a Senator.’ Which is depressing but also very 90s. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103064/trivia?item=tr1995045


	8. Accelerant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a long hot summer in Big Bear. Grace is getting ready to become captain, and dealing with having Dani Ramos live rent-free in her head and heart. At Diego’s gig she learns Gabe, too, has similar ambitions – and, maybe, obsessions.

Grace’s summer rolled on, too.

Big Bear got hot. Grace gave up on sleeves. She gauged the weather every day, fretting about fire. Testing the weather, she plunged her hand into stands of dry-looking grasses and wild plants, felt them still moist and cool at the base. Growing more, less vulnerable, than they seemed. Very like Dani.

Grace thought a _lot_ about Dani. She had plenty of time to do that in the stop-and-go, hurry-up-and-wait of emergency work.

There was another highly suspicious fire, at the agency that helped the homeless in the Big Bear area. It took place over the Fourth of July weekend, prime time for dumb fires to get started. Gabe said every crazy person who went through there was a suspect. The local cops ate that up. 

Grace had less time to moon and fret on the days when she wasn’t on firefighting duty. Of her ostensible four days off each week, two of them were now taken up with firefighting administration. Meetings, inspections and their reports, planning staff on shifts. The work the station’s lackadasickal captain should have been doing. The work more and more people were saying would be Grace’s good and proper at the end of the summer.

Part of Grace couldn’t wait. Getting paid overtime wasn’t enough – she wanted the credit, too. She was ready to make a difference. But she knew becoming captain would put a barrier between her and the rest of the staff at the station. A step back would give her authority. She also should switch ladders, work with one of the other crews. But she’d clicked with most of Ladder 69 – and, if she was around Gabe, he wasn’t talking smack behind her back.

Becoming captain would also chop into what little time to herself Grace had, until she found someone to trust as a second in command. She meant to get out and date, try to meet somebody. Grace had finally recovered from her breakup, based on her increasingly elaborate fantasies about Dani. It would help if Grace hadn’t fallen into spending one – make that two – of her two free nights a week with Dani. Grace decided that after the Summer Olympics finished, she’d make more of an effort around the dating thing.

It seemed like fate stepped in for that. Almost the minute the Olympics had wrapped, Diego had called Dani to say he had a gig playing guitar and singing. Dani had been over at Grace’s at the time, being so tantalizing Grace could hardly believe it, when Dani’s phone rang about that. Immediately afterwards, Dani vanished, to spend most of her spare time with Diego. Styling Diego, helping him refine his set, boosting his ego. Grace had two weeks, between the call and Diego’s gig, to do whatever she wanted.

Grace didn’t do much with it, except go for moody hikes and play with Smokey. The kitten was leggy, half-grown, playful. Looking after her was a good reason for Grace to tell her mom and dad she wasn’t coming to LA for a visit just yet, to put off a trip back to her friends in Napa. What if Dani needed her?

There was another highly suspicious fire, near the alpine wildlife center, the day after Grace hiked the wildlife center’s trail ring. Grace had thought the station captain was creating drama and distraction with talk about a firebug. She was starting to think there was something to it.

The day of Diego’s gig, Grace saw an uptick of messages from Dani. _Herbal tea for Diego’s voice._ (A photo of some evil looking tea peppered with smiling icons.) _At the hair salon!_ (The first picture Dani had sent of herself, beaming nervously, framed by tumbled, glossy waves.) _I will be at the bar early, will you come?_ After the picture of Dani, Grace thumbed off _Yes_ immediately. Grace threw on her newest white tank top, her most perfectly faded denim jacket, and headed out into the sunset. The days were getting shorter.

It was still a summer night at the bar, a back room in one of Big Bear’s four Mexican restaurants. The space was low-ceilinged, blue-lit, connected to the restaurant with strings of tattered papel picado flags and all-Spanish band posters. There were black leatherette stools here and there, but it was already standing room only. Grace thought it was a good thing a quarter of the crowd was firefighters, or they’d be at risk of a violation.

Grace said hi to the surprising amount of people she knew. Dani messaged her to say she was backstage, she’d be out soon. Grace got herself a beer and settled in to wait, a little aside from the groups of firefighters and friends. She needed a moment's peace. She could look at her phone, or she could people-watch.

Either the fire crews had attractive girlfriends, Grace thought, or the other band had some hot fans – and some of them set Grace’s gaydar off. There was a biker chick, peeling off her leather jacket to show skinny, ripped arms; a statuesque beauty in perfect 80s retro; a bleached-blonde punk pixie with a startling smile. Grace could picture how it would go with each of them. A fast and dirty one-night stand. Expert flirtation leading to passionate dates – always around an accommodating partner. Them getting clingy and inviting her home for Christmas, if they didn’t get pouty over Grace’s work hours. Grace downed half her beer to drown out how none of them seemed worth it, when she was waiting for Dani.

Standing by herself drew somebody else instead: Gabe. “Grace. Whatcha drinking? They’ve got some good local brews. This one is triple hopped.”

“Sounds good,” Grace lied. She hated overhopped beers.

Gabe sprawled back against the bar behind them. “Some babes here tonight, huh? Whoever makes captain is going to get all the pussy they can eat.” 

One sentence was all it took for Grace to get sick of being treated as ‘one of the guys’ by Gabe. Grace drank. Before Gabe could come up with any more philosophical statements, he levered himself off the bar, squaring his shoulders. Dani turned to see who it was he was a little afraid of. To her shock, it was the biker chick, who turned out to be Sarah. Grace hadn’t recognized Sarah out of station blues, with her long hair down.

“Just getting a beer and a couple of shots,” Sarah said, gesturing to the bartender. Neither Grace nor Gabe had a reply, because Sarah was followed by Dani.

“You made it!” Dani said. She smiled at them both, rather tightly. She fit right into the crowd in pale denim, a silver-gray T-shirt, and long silver earrings. Her eyes, softened with dark liner, were enormous. Grace could smell the sweetness of her freshly waved hair.

“Uh,” Grace said. “Do you maybe want a –“

Gabe cut her off. “I’ll get you a drink, Dani. You need to watch who buys you drinks – don’t accept anything dark in a glass – someone could roofie you.”

“I think I am all right, thank you,” Dani said, and she graciously accepted a shot from Sarah. She lifted the little glass. “To Diego! _Salud._ ”

“To your little bro,” Gabe said. Grace and Sarah lifted their beers silently. They all drank. Grace raised her eyebrows at how neatly Dani downed her shot.

Sarah melted back into the crowd, which was good, because Grace was still recovering from finding Sarah’s back view attractive, trying to make small talk with Gabe, and Dani’s perfection. Gabe was at his most unbearable, telling them both stories about how before Open Borders this was exactly the kind of place he busted. Grace didn’t understand how Dani held back from clocking him one until she recognized Dani’s expression. Dani was wrapped up in something else. She wasn’t listening to a single word, until Gabe says, “Diego’s not going to play Wonderwall is he? I’ll fire him if he does.”

Dani actually looked alarmed at that. Grace had had it with Gabe’s shit. “You can’t fire him Gabe. You’re not his boss.”

Gabe squared his shoulders again. “Yeah, well, you aren’t either. And I might be. I’m gonna apply for captain next week. Brace yourself.”

“Shhhhhh,” Dani said, “they are starting!” She reached between them to put the shot down, then gave her full attention to the stage, hands clasped. Like she was praying. Grace stood as close to Dani as she dared.

From the moment Diego sauntered onto the stage, holding up his acoustic guitar, he – well, he fit. The harsh lights couldn’t find any meanness or weariness in his young face, reflecting only his delight. He bantered with the crowd for a moment, asked if they wanted him to play, and began.

Diego turned out to be good – really good. Not polished, but perfect for a late summer night in a bar. Grace didn’t know half his romantic-sounding songs, but a lot of the audience did. They were holding up phones, snapping and recording, swaying along.

Several songs in, Grace looked at Dani. She had her steepled hands in front of her mouth, hiding behind her hair. Grace remembered what Dani had said about her mom dying, and Diego, and what this night might mean for her. She folded a careful hand around Dani’s left shoulder. Immediately, Dani sniffed, and turned her crumpled face up to Grace, mouthing _thank you_. She was crying.

Grace swallowed and leaned in, close enough to inhale Dani’s fragrance deeply. “He’s good.”

Dani smiled through her tears, nodding. She didn’t need to say anything. Grace understood.

Dani gave Grace’s hand a pat, then let go to dash at her eyes and respond to something Gabe had said and Grace had missed. Grace had even forgotten he was there. She took herself that step back, stiffening as she saw Gabe get into Dani’s space.

On stage, Diego had the same wide smile Dani did, with extra dimples and without any of the bittersweetness. “I know you come here for the next band! So this is my last song….” He strummed a few bars, easy to recognize.

“Fuck, this song? This is sappy,” said Gabe.

“I dedicate this to my mother. It was her favorite,” Diego said. Grace smirked as Dani glared, and Gabe’s face fell.

_To really love a woman…. to understand her… you have to know her deep inside_

_Hear every thought, see every dream, and give her wings when she wants to fly…_

The song was pure treacle. Grace remembered listening to it as a kid, trapped in her mom’s SUV. But Diego’s smooth playing and earnest tenor made it work. That, and listening to it beside Dani, seeing her transported by the moment.

_Tell me, have you ever really, really, really ever loved a woman?_

Grace was pretty sure she had, but she didn’t want to dwell on the past right now. Not when Dani smiled; sighed; made a little face at a really annoying verse; raised her chin as Diego’s music lifted the song’s heart.

_You got to give her some faith, hold her tight, a little tenderness, gotta treat her right…_

Dani’s whole expression crumpled again. She grabbed Grace’s right hand. Grace didn’t care why. She just held on, through a guitar solo that had the more musical people in the audience applauding early. Diego rode that to the end of the song. 

_So, tell me, have you ever really_

_really, really ever loved a woman?_

There was a last elaborate strum. Dani let go of Grace at last to applaud, too. At her hand’s emptiness, seeing Dani’s joy, Grace had her own answer to that question. Yes, she had. She did. Right now.

Gabe broke the spell. “Pretty OK set, huh?”

Dani said, “He was amazing! I have to tell him."

“Me too,” Gabe said, setting his beer bottle on the bar. "Say, you need a ride home?"

"No, no, Sarah brought me," Dani replied, and darted away, through the crowd. Grace knew an escape when she saw it.

Before Gabe could horn in on Dani’s moment with her brother, Grace clamped his shoulder. Stopped him. “Let. Her. Go.”

Gabe looked Grace in the eye for the first time that night. They were face to face, Grace taller in her combat boots, Gabe set and pale. Grace didn’t like the gleam in his eye. The recognition.

“So that’s how it is, huh?” Gabe’s face folded around his close-lipped, smug smile. “Good luck with that. Don’t give her a hard time. Or maybe I’ll be firing you.” With that, Gabe wrenched himself free, shouldered through the crowd.

Grace curled her hands to fists. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Gabe was self-centered, not stupid. Work was going to get shitty immediately – unless she backed off from Dani. The only thing to do was to go out into the parking lot, try and chill. Grace strode out.

A lean figure, more appealing than Grace liked, was leaning up against a Jeep and smoking: Sarah. Sarah waved languidly. Grace went over. “Hell of a gig, huh? I came out here to cool down after seeing that boy on stage. Too handsome for his own good, that one.” 

Grace frowned at this uncharacteristic looseness. “How much have you had to drink?”

Sarah tightened back up. “What business of yours is it? Unless you’re buying.”

“Dani said you carpooled. Drove here together. You… let's get something straight.”

Sarah snorted at that. Grace barrelled on. “If you put her in danger, or hurt her in any way - I will fuck you up.”

There was a long pause. Long enough for Sarah to extinguish her cigarette, slowly, in a way that implied she’d been expecting something like this. For Grace to realize she was saying to Sarah what she hadn’t said to Gabe.

Sarah tilted her chin up, exhaled through her nose. Said, “Right. She’ll drive.”

The way Sarah said it had as much knowledge as Gabe had, and a thousand times more class. It hit Grace, for the first time, that perhaps she and Sarah should get along better.

Grace murmured, “Thanks,” and went back inside.

The next act had taken the stage, rolling out hard, metallic rock. Grace glimpsed Dani in front, still hugging Diego. The throng of admirers around Diego was such that Gabe wasn’t getting anywhere near Dani. Or so Grace hoped.

Grace left without saying goodbye to anyone. She wanted to sulk and shower and, absurdly, talk to the cat, because who else could she talk to here about Dani? She was saved from sulking as she drove by the way her phone blinked and chimed with messages.

At her place, Grace parked in a skid of gravel and grabbed her phone. Ten messages, all from Dani. _Where are you? Where did you go? Diego wanted to say hi and thank you. Sarah said you went, drive safe. Thank you so very much. I was so worried. We should have lunch. I want to ask if you would show me how to use the gym. Maybe tomorrow, after my shift?_

Grace read through them all, three times, feeling her heart beat again. At last, she texted back: _Sure._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Diego's last song is Bryan Adams' "Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman," a slice of mildly spicy cheese from 1995. This is one of those times when, as a writer, the characters were very insistent.
> 
> Me: Diego, are you sure?   
> Diego: There is some truly sophisticated work for the acoustic guitar in this!   
> Dani, eyes brimming: It was Mami's FAVORITE  
> \- both Ramos siblings gaze reproachfully -  
> Me: -sigh- I'm looking up the lyrics right now.
> 
> This is why Diego had to get killed right away in _Terminator: Dark Fate_ , because the two Ramos siblings together were too powerful...


	9. Upper Flammable Limit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dani has a plan: ask Grace to show her how to work out, see how they get along doing that, and maybe talk about being more than friends. It turns out that arm day with Grace is harder and hotter than Dani expects… Things get steamy this chapter, buckle up for some queer gym lovin'!

The morning after Diego's triumph, Dani woke up, as usual, to slight noise from the living room. She checked her phone. It was 6 AM again. She was glad she wasn’t on shift at Moonshine Station today. Poor Diego, and his hangover, would be going to work soon.

Last night, Sarah had made Dani drive them both home. The only sign this morning that Sarah might be hung over was that her morning workout had begun an hour later. Dani listened to it with less irritation today. After all, later, Grace would be showing her how to work out in the station gym.

Dani stretched out in bed. It had been so good having Grace there at the show last night, like showing her a little bit of Mexico. She had been embarrassed at being so emotional – people here weren’t – but Grace hadn’t said anything. Even when she’d dared to hold Grace’s hand. Grace hadn’t let go – Dani had been the one to do that. After, Dani knew, a little too long. When Diego had finished playing his set, by the time she’d finished hugging him, Grace had gone home, sensibly, since Grace was on shift tonight, too. But Grace had replied to her messages. And said yes to spending time with her today.

She heard the _thunk_ of Sarah’s last weight, the creak of the stairs as Sarah went up to her floor to shower. Dani would be seeing how well she and Grace got along outside of the safe space they’d created at Grace’s apartment. Doing something maybe a little difficult. Being next to each other’s bodies. Finding out if they wanted to do more than stare at each other, like a couple of cats. Remembering and anticipating, feeling curiously confident, Dani turned over. For once in her life, she slept in.

When Dani got out of bed three hours later, she took herself shopping for a workout outfit. First, she went to an expensive place, to see what was fashionable, and then to a big budget store. That had been how she and her mother shopped together. Dani still missed Mami, but after Diego’s success last night…she felt like life would go on. 

Shopping on her own, Dani decided that Mami had been right. Once you had your eye in, you could look just as nice shopping from the budget place. Dani bought a pair of coral leggings, a matching coral sports bra, and a loose, draping black tank, with the slightest camouflage pattern. The tank covered her behind just so.

Grace had said she usually worked out later, around eight. Dani packed her gym bag that evening with the freshly washed clothes. She felt ready. Not that, since school had ended, Dani had gone to a gym except to pull Diego out of it. But how hard could working out be if Sarah did it every day? Dani tossed a gray hoodie over one arm, patted her braids, and went to her car.

Grace met Dani at the side door of the station. She looked alarmed until Dani lifted her gym bag. “That’s good, but there’s nowhere downstairs to change. Unless…” Grace wound up standing guard outside the gym’s equipment closet while Dani changed in there. It was dark, and cramped, and Dani tripped over her own bag on the way out. She managed to not fall over in front of a startled Grace.

Grace stared, in that are-you-concussed way. Dani suddenly felt very pink. She asked, “Are these clothes good?”

“Uh, yeah. You look good.” Grace walked over and shut the gym’s door. “I work out at this time of day because it’s quiet. Most of the guys work out before dinner. There’s about a twenty-five percent chance of a callout, just so you know.”

The gym was a large, cool, windowless room, all white paint and gray-nubbled carpet, with a wall of mirrors. There were a few gym machines, dark and complicated. Dani understood the hand weights, and the strongman bars, but not the lumps with handles, or the straps and bands. Grace extended her arms, like she was at home. Her being there, smiling and sun-warmed, made the metal and machines human. “What kind of workout do you want to try? Aerobics, weights?”

Dani asked, “What do you do?”

Grace coiled her arms in, anticipating invisible weights. When she did, muscles emerged. “Today is arm day for me. When you lift weights you split up areas of your body – arms one day, legs the next, your core on another day. You can also do a circuit, a light workout of your whole body?” Grace said that like she was offering it.

Dani wondered which way Sarah worked out. “I will just do what you do.”

Grace seemed pleased. “That’s good. We can alternate sets and I’ll spot you.”

Dani had no idea what that meant, but she followed Grace.

Working out, Grace chatted easily. “We’ll warm up with side flies.” Dani accepted the smallest hand weights available, to lift her arms at her sides, like she was spreading wings. “Take it slow,” Grace said. “Repeat it, mmmm, twelve times. That’s how our muscles grow.”

“Next, this is bicep curls.” Dani got to keep the small weights. “When you spot me, that’s watching me to make sure my form is good.” Dani had to press her mouth closed on her giggles. With permission to watch, Dani saw every shift as Grace’s arms coiled and uncoiled.

“Bored yet? You’ll like this. Pull-downs.” That used one of the few stacks of equipment in the gym. Dani did enjoy those. It was very satisfying, curling her arms down and raising a stack of three weights, laced on a bar and cord. She could really feel the muscles in her back working.

“Now it’s back to our original weights for deltoid raises. Each of these is for a special muscle in your arm. The deltoid, it’s right at the top of your arm, here.” Grace briefly cupped Dani’s shoulder joints in her hands.

The lumps with handles turned out to be kettlebells, and their exercise was the hardest yet, leaning and raising the lump of metal with just one arm, on each side. “Sorry, that’s the smallest one we’ve got. Just do five. It is a tough one.”

Dani was starting to sweat through her new gym outfit. “Does Sarah ever work out here?”

“Not a lot. Sometimes she’ll wander in and do a few pull-ups. I swear she does that just to piss me off, because I can’t do pull-ups."

Laughing, Dani said, “There is an exercise you cannot do?”

Grace shrugged. “My proportions are bad. My body’s too long, like a cat. Anyway, any time there’s an exercise you don’t like, you don’t have to do it. It changed my life when a trainer told me that. You can almost always find another exercise to get the same fitness goal. Like we’re going to do now, with a chest press. Have some water first.”

A chest press turned out to be Dani’s idea of real weight lifting, with Grace lying on a bench, pumping a heavy bar of weights above her. Looking down, Dani could see how Grace’s whole body tightened, how her flushed face scowled while her breath rasped.

When it was Dani’s turn, Grace took the weights off and directed Dani to press the naked bar. Dani protested until she lifted the bar from the rack that held it above her. She managed half a set.

Pulling Dani back upright, Grace praised her anyway. “You did really great! You’ve got a good sense of form. I bet you’re a good dancer.”

“Thank you!” Dani rolled her shoulders back. She felt tired, but glowing, and inspired to have that chat with Grace about more-than-friends.

Until Grace said, “Now let’s do our second set. That means we do all those exercises again.”

The second time was much harder. The same weights from the first time made Dani’s arms tremble. Grace closed in and touched Dani more, urging Dani to make small adjustments, to keep working. Grace even said, “You can’t get mad at the weights and win. They’re too dumb for that.”

“Like some people,” Dani said. Their shared smile gave her a shot of energy. Again, she made it through five lifts of the naked bar.

Dani let Grace haul her up off the bench a second time. “You’re a natural,” Grace said.

“I was just thinking how silly I am,” Dani said. "Tired, also." Sticky with sweat, she felt too wiped out to flirt, let alone have a serious discussion.

“It sneaks up on you, the first couple of times.” They both turned at the sound of men’s voices outside the door. Gabe was declaiming something to somebody. They didn’t come in. Grace still said, voice low, “Let’s go change in my bunk.”

The station was settling into its attempt at night quiet. Most of the firefighters on duty were watching a baseball game on TV, intently. They didn't turn around when Grace and Dani went through the common room on the way to Grace's bunk. Dani suppressed her giggles. Diego wasn't there: Dani expected that, after last night, he was napping while he could.

This was Dani’s second time with Grace in one of the firefighter’s individual bunk rooms. Grace had made herself more at home tonight, with her station blues waiting on the bed. When she closed the door, muffling the loud game down the hall, Dani heard a little lock click. The sound did not relax her. Because she was now in the position of taking her sweat-soaked T-shirt off in front of Grace. Grace seemed to feel something similar. She turned her back, ambled into the tiny bathroom to wash her hands. Dani had the feeling Grace was doing that to give her space. She had peeled off the sweaty shirt and had just decided to put her normal shirt on, and leave the rest, when Grace asked, “Did you, uh, like that?”

Dani blinked. “I did! It is good to feel like you are doing something. Changing. But I used to be better at all that when I was in school.”

Grace laughed. “I’m out of shape myself. I’m glad we did the photo shoot two months ago.”

Dani, outraged, put her hands on her hips. “Your arms are still like – like the Olympics! Mine are like bread before you cook it.”

Grace stepped out of the bathroom. “Nuh-uh, you’ve got definition! Good definition. Here. Flex. Curl your arm up, with some tension, like you’ve still got a weight.”

She showed Dani what she meant. Watching Grace, Dani bit her lip, feeling her eyes widen, and did her own take on flexing.

Dani angled her left arm’s attempt to Grace, and quit biting herself. She must be doing all right. Because Grace had same soft but intense look she’d had two weeks ago, on her sofa. Light and hoarse, Grace said, “See. Definition. This curve…” Very briefly, she stroked her fingers along the inside of Dani’s arm, up to Dani’s shoulder.

Dani melted and shivered at the same time. It felt so right. Impulsively, she turned her head and kissed Grace’s fingers.

Grace froze.

So much for talking. Dani lifted her eyes to Grace’s. Her own voice sounded strange to her as she said, “I wanted to do that.”

There was Grace’s concussed look again. Dani realized she had to be clearer. “I wanted to kiss you.”

Immediately, Grace’s eyes widened. Adorably, she blushed. Alive with blood, the way she’d been under the heaviest weight. “Do you mean it? I mean, are you – because I –”

Dani reached up and cupped Grace’s hot face, then stood on tiptoes to kiss Grace on the lips. Her mouth was as different as Dani had hoped, the press of her full lips new, exciting. And Dani must not have been a bad kisser, because she found herself lifted and gathered in and devoured by Grace’s own hungry mouth.

Dani pulled away, leaning back at arm’s length. “The first time I see you, I wanted to do that.”

Grace twitched. “Shhh! Shhh. We’ve got to be quiet here.” She drew Dani back in, burying her face in Dani’s neck.

“Oh.” Dani twisted as Grace kissed her neck behind her ear, nibbling her there, sending delicious chills through her. “Oh!” Dani swayed on tiptoe, leaning into the hold of Grace’s superbly strong arms, alight with electric sparks. This wasn’t like the fumblings she’d put up with as a teenager, waiting for a good part that never arrived. Every touch from Grace was wonderful right away.

Grace left her mouth in place as she swept both her big hands down Dani’s back. Dani arced beneath her touch, at the brush of Grace’s muscles, the hot palms of her hands. Grace felt smooth and strong, new yet so familiar, in between and absolutely perfect.

“Dani. Dani, can I…” Grace had one hand hovering over Dani’s left breast.

“Yes,” Dani said, and didn’t realize until she said it she was speaking Spanish. She didn’t have to repeat herself as Grace’s hand cupped the bralette’s coral fabric. Grace’s clasp and lift, the way she caught the tip of Dani’s hard nipple between two fingers, starred Dani with new sensations. Just as Dani worried about all her sweating earlier, Grace seemed to read her mind. “You smell so good,” Grace whispered, and lowered her head.

Dani started as something hit the back of her calves: the edge of the room’s single bed. It was natural to sink down onto it, as natural as Grace following her down, to kneel in front of her. Grace glanced up, hot, shaking, eyes dilated. “Fuck. This is too good. Dani,“ Grace gasped, sliding fingers under Dani’s coral waistband. “You can stop me – “

Something else new flooded Dani, a feeling of power. From seeing Grace as swept away by wanting as Dani was, yet holding back so Dani could trust her. From feeling so much, so fiercely, a passion she’d never known. “No,” Dani whispered. “Show me.”

Grace did. Alternating between soft touches and kisses, between stroking fingers and using her warm tongue, undoing Dani utterly. Taking what Dani was so, so ready to give. Dani reached down and laced her fingers through Grace’s thick, incredible cap of hair. She held tight as Grace quickly, deftly, surely gave her what she’d asked for: let go as she gasped in more pleasure than she'd ever known.

Freed, Grace pulled herself up, to be face to face with Dani again. She was as flushed as when she’d lifted the heavy bar, with her expression softened again, entranced, so beautiful. Dani leaned in and kissed Grace's swollen mouth.

At last, Grace pulled back, shook her head to clear it. “Dani – I – this was _not_ what I…we need to –”

A wailing howl cut through their ears, the station siren. Grace leapt upright. From in here, with the door closed, the intercom details were muffled. “Ladder 69, structural fire call out. Ladder 69!”

Grace yelped, “Shit!” From the mini-room next door, Dani heard cursing and boots on the floor. Grace was jerking trousers and a shirt on over her workout gear.

Dani pulled leggings up, the bralette down, curled in on herself. “Go, go. I will go too. We talk later.”

Grace gave Dani one blue stare. Then, she banged out the door.

Dani wasn’t even sure Grace had heard her over the siren’s scream. She felt terrible. Not because of kissing Grace, stealing (she checked her phone) fifteen minutes with her - that wasn’t wrong. But being in here, now, was. Dani should be with the crew, on the rig screaming out of the station. Helping. She should be by Grace’s side…

The racket of Ladder Company 69 leaving rattled the whole station. When it finished, the siren cutting out, Dani knew where everyone else working at the station was. They’d all be downstairs in the rig room, like they could watch what happened next from there. Dani had a chance to slip away. She shouldn’t stay. If the station needed her, they’d message her.

Her and Grace – Dani could only hope that there would be a later. Every callout was risky, like sending soldiers off to war. The weight of her feelings, of who she was now, made Dani’s chest ache, like the giant bar Grace had placed in her hands.

When Dani stood up, her knees were as weak as her arms. She pulled the camouflage shirt back on and tiptoed out. But she didn’t drive away. She waited in her car, poking at her phone. All of her updates on shows, messages from friends back in Mexico, the family groupchat, she could barely read them. They weren’t important anymore. Not until…

An hour later. The long tiller rig rolled back into the station, dark and quiet compared to how it had left. That was a very short callout. Everyone must have been all right. Dani dared to send Grace a text. _You OK?_

It took another ten minutes for a reply. _Yes. Thank you. Talk tomorrow – see me at the festival – I am at our booth 12 to 4._

Dani sighed with relief. Everything was all right, now. Until she opened her mouth, and said what she’d done, who she really was, to someone who wasn’t Grace. Such as Diego. Who she hadn't thought about all this time, though he had been in danger on the callout, too. Suddenly, Dani was very tired. Now it was her bones that felt heavy, like she’d taken the weight of everything tonight inside her. As part of her, now. She’d never be the same.

She drove home and, for the first time, let herself in using the side door of her room. The way Sarah had always hinted Dani could if she came home late, after a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grace has toned down arm day considerably to work out with Dani – normally she’d do 3 or 4 sets.


	10. Vehicle Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After last night’s first time, Grace and Dani have a misunderstanding. Grace crashes Dani’s shift at the station to clear the air, and, in the backseat of one of the fire trucks, gives in to her best and her worst. Note: Explicit femslash again!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted November 3 for anyone who wants a distraction...with much gratitude to all readers!

At noon the next day, Grace was quietly losing her mind.

She was off shift, but volunteering, as firefighters often did. This was one of those save-the-station volunteer times. They’d released the fundraising calendar. Local sales had been okay. Today was their chance to raise some serious funds: the first day of the Big Bear Hug Festival, and its street fair, We (Rainbow Heart) Bears!

Today, Big Bear was packed with bears. Not the ursine grizzlies that gave the area its name, but large, hairy, exuberant gay men. The bears filled every hotel in town, overflowing happily into the local merchants’ street fair. Grace knew she had to step up and be out for Moonshine Station at the region’s biggest gay event of the year. It was appropriate that, after last night with Dani, she was a hot gay mess. Grace smiled at the people around them without really seeing them, wrapped up in her memories of Dani last night, ricocheting between high as a kite and freaking the fuck out.

Bears left their dens late, so the street fair didn’t kick off until midday. Grace had taken the first shift, before things got really rowdy. This put her on shift with Carl, whose tank top and serious take on a friendly expression made him a bear trap, and with Gabe.

Grace wasn’t looking forwards to reuniting with Dani under Gabe’s tight glances. She muttered to him, “Did you take this early shift so you could get on with your day?”

“Nope. On shift with you two, I’m the hot young guy,” Gabe said. He snapped his trouser suspenders. Gabe was happier than Grace had ever seen him, posing for selfies, letting people pet his tattoos, and signing calendars. He didn’t seem to care much who gave him attention, as long as it came pouring in.

Grace was happy herself to step back, working the cash box and card swiper, handing over calendar after calendar. She did hope that someone – a dyke couple, a starstruck kid – would want to talk to her. Ideally, at exactly the moment when Dani came by. She’d extract herself politely, use the fact that she’d been working hard to take a break, and say…

Something.

Grace wanted to say so much to Dani that she had no fucking idea where to begin. That she was sorry? Glad? Head-over-heels in love? That she still needed to tell Dani a lot about herself so Dani could really decide? All Grace knew for sure was that it had to be face-to-face. Dani was too important, now. If she could see Dani, look her in the eye, Grace was sure it would all fall into place. Just like the first time she’d looked at Dani.

A gaggle of college-age girls descended on their booth. One of them swept up a calendar. “Oh My Gawd! Firemen! Look at these stone foxes!”

“I’m right here, ladies,” Gabe declared. “All yours for twenty dollars.” Three girls screamed and whipped out their phones. Grace frowned at Gabe encouraging a bunch of teenagers. They were probably 'legal' - just barely. Ugh.

The fourth one stood back, glancing at Grace. Wistfully, she said, “It’s cool that you’re a firefighter. Is it, like, hard? Do you go to school?”

She was so young. Dani was, too, but compared to this kid Dani seemed mature, timeless. Grace was talking to the girl gently, respectfully, the way she should have treated Dani last night, when she caught Carl beckoning her. He was leaning over their table towards a tall, once-handsome man in a pale blue polo shirt. “Grace, this is the mayor of Big Bear. Grace Harper is one of our senior firefighters. She is the candidate I told you about.”

“Hi there! Uh…I think we’ve met before…” Grace reached out to accept his hand, squinted as flashbulbs from a more serious camera went off.

The mayor proceeded to be mayoral at Grace. Grace kept her smile fixed and nodded a lot. By the time he’d moved on, the shy girl had slipped away. Grace looked at Gabe, saw him covered in lipgloss marks, and decided she wasn’t going to ask.

Carl said, “The mayor sees you talking and says it is good to see us in the community. Small things like this matter for politics.” Carl sounded grim and flat. “I am not good at this. I only want to do my job.”

“I’m not super at this either. I guess I’m just more used to it.”

“I believe you are good. I see you being very helpful to the new paramedic. Dani.”

“We hang out because it’s a thing to be a woman in emergency services. We both like sports…cooking…” Grace trailed off.

Carl nodded somberly. “I enjoy cooking with my wife too.” He glanced beyond Grace and caught sight of someone in the crowd. “Hello! Good to see you.” Carl stepped forward, saving Grace from having an aneurysm.

Did Carl think she was dating Dani? Did he actually approve? Holy fucking shit. She’d been scourging herself over moving far too fast last night, after Dani’s affectionate, impulsive kiss. After finding out that Dani felt as good as she’d dreamed to hold, to kiss, to take. _Show me,_ Dani had said, all innocent authority. Grace, lovesick, on fire, hadn’t been strong enough to say no. Now, this. Grace felt herself tangle up even further.

Someone was waving a hand in front of Grace’s face. “Hello? Grace, right? I’m Kate. Remember me?”

Grace blinked and smiled. She really was out of it. “Hey! Smokey’s vet! How are you?”

“Oh, I’m okay. They say if you want to meet a guy you should get out of the house…but I think I picked the wrong crowd,” Kate smiled, wryly. Grace’s first thought was that Kate was, as usual, too perfect to be appealing, for all her beauty. Her casual outfit was similar to Dani’s last night, in shades of khaki, setting off her smooth red hair and careful makeup. Even Kate’s little beige mop of a dog matched her cowhide purse.

Grace said, “I can introduce you to some of the firefighters if you want.”

Kate eyed Gabe askance. He was arm-wrestling someone. “They all look good. But can they return a phone call?”

Grace exhaled and shrugged. Kate chuckled. “I know, I’ve read too many romance novels. Might as well wait for the boy next door who can save the world.”

Vehemently, Grace said, “You _should_ have standards. Everybody deserves a good relationship,” Unsure, as she said it, if she could be that for Dani.

Kate waved this off. “Enough about me. How’s Smokey?”

“Hold on!” Grace pulled out her own phone. “See.” She showed Kate the cutest picture of Smokey ever. The half-grown cat was kneading a plaid shirt, green eyes startled wide, with a happy pink blep of tongue.

Kate shrieked, delighted. “Look at that precious baby! When I think what Smokey was like when you brought her in - this makes my day. You have to send that to me so I can show the others.”

“Totally,” Grace agreed. She handed her phone over. “Put your number in and I’ll send it to you.”

Doing that, Kate bowed her head. Grace could see behind her. And caught that Dani was right there, eyes dark and huge, watching the whole thing. How much had she heard?

“Uh – “ Grace said.

Kate straightened up and handed the phone back. “Here you go! I’ll let you get back to it. Make that money!” With that, she strode off, her dog flouncing behind her.

Dani stepped into the space Kate had left. Her face was tight, paler than she should have been. “Put my number in your phone. You said that to me. Do you say that to all the women?” She gulped a breath. “After last night?”

“Dani, no. She’s my vet – Smokey’s vet – you set me up with her for – “

“Dani! You came out! Great to see you!” Gabe had barged over, his smile still wide and genuine. He'd wiped off the lipgloss. “You want a picture?”

Dani gave him a nod. “Gabriel. No, thank you. I have seen everything.” She lifted her chin. “I am on shift tonight. I need to go.”

“Responsible. I admire that. Have a great day,” Gabe said.

Dani stepped back into the crowd. Just as Grace extracted herself from behind the table, a conga line of bears, drag queens, and laughing tourists cut between them. By the time it had passed, Dani was gone.

“I told her I’d be here now and she came by. How cool is that?” Gabe said.

Grace wasn’t listening. She vaulted behind the table, checked that the cash box was still there, and frantically started texting.

Ten minutes later, the conga line went past again. Grace’s phone didn’t ping or vibrate. Over the next three and a half hours, a hundred moments for Dani to interrupt - without any reason to feel jealous or suspicious or ignored - happened. At four, Grace and Carl left to deposit five figures in cash at the bank. When they parted, Grace checked her phone for the thousandth time. Still no reply.

At least now, Grace knew what to say. Simply…everything.

* * *

When Dani hadn’t replied by midnight, Grace made a decision. There was one definite way to talk to Dani. She put on her work blues and drove out to Moonshine Station.

It was a summer Friday night, prime time for callouts. Grace knew she was pushing her luck. But she arrived to a calm fire station. As quietly as possible, she let herself in, and began a circuit of the ground floor. All the vehicles were in the rig room. Dani was in the station, somewhere.

Fate was on her side. Outside the downstairs restroom, Grace was able to say, “Dani.”

Dani started. She held one of the tablets the paramedics used to log every move. Under the hallway’s fluorescents, she looked drained. “Grace.”

“How’s shift been?”

Dani shrugged. “Normal.”

That could mean anything. Grace begged, “You haven’t…I’ve been…can we talk?”

Dani turned her enormous, shadowed eyes down, fiddled with the tablet. She kept her voice low. “Sarah is in the decon room.”

Ah, fuck. “And paramedics don’t get bunks…I know where we can go. C’mon.” Grace strode out to the rig room.

At this hour, the rig room was empty, the big garage doors closed. Grace didn’t think twice as she strode towards what had always been her refuge on shift: the cab of a fire truck. She opened the cab’s back door. “Want a hand up?”

Dani only accepted a first lift onto the cab steps. Grace followed, closed the door soundlessly.

The smell of the cab –leather and sweat and the sweetish smell of waterproofing – reassured Grace. Reminded her that she got shit done.

Grace took a deep breath of it and said, “I need to tell you how I’m an asshole. But I wasn’t being one today.”

“This is not sounding very good,” Dani said. But there was a lilt back in her voice. “I come out to see you, like you asked. And you are talking to this beautiful woman, saying to her the same thing you said to me, once. Put your number in my phone, and…” Dani shrugged.

“Oh. That.” Grace had said so many other things to Dani, she’d forgotten. The little triumph of it, three months ago, came back to her now. “I get it now. It’s not a line. I mean, I wasn’t trying to pick her up. I mean, I don’t like her that way. Not like I like you.”

Dani didn’t say anything.

“I know it didn’t look good. And I guess you’re upset about last night. Me getting…carried away. I should’ve stopped. But I, well, I picked up some bad habits at my last job.” And Grace finally told the story of the trail of broken hearts she’d left behind her, climaxing in that irresponsible affair with her sector manager at Napa. Including the risks they’d taken, there, getting erotic on site. How Grace been beaten at her own game – hooked with smouldering sex, falling against her will, being rejected for the next good thing.

“It was a fucking mess. I didn’t want it to happen again. To me or…to you.”

Dani still didn’t say anything. But her hand crept onto Grace’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this before. I thought you were too – it’s all new to you – I thought you couldn’t handle it.” Grace looked away from the sweet intensity of Dani. “Maybe that was true when we first met. But you’re not that Dani any more.”

She heard Dani exhale. “Myself, I did not think. I kissed you and then I acted like I owned you.”

“You already do.” Grace turned back. Finally, the words were coming, like a dam bursting. “I want you like I’ve wanted everybody before, all put together. I’d do anything for you. I know, I sound crazy, but, three months…if it makes it easier to see you, I’ll leave this station – “

“No! No, no,” Dani said, reaching for Grace with both hands, cupping Grace’s face. “I cannot ruin your life.”

Grace clenched her back. “I don’t want to ruin yours. You’re just getting started here. I’m your first mistake.”

Dani said, defiantly, “Then I will make more. The first time I see you, it is like – I know you. Like I had been missing you my whole life.”

“Fuck,” Grace whispered. She couldn’t say if she gathered Dani up to straddle her lap, or if Dani was the one who seized her, leaning down to drink a kiss from Grace.

It was as heavenly as when they’d kissed last night. Dani’s full, sweet mouth, lips gentle over her surprisingly sharp teeth, her pointed, sensuous tongue. Thinking about Dani using that tongue on her, Grace buried her face in Dani’s shoulder. Dani’s loose braid was there, filling Grace’s head with the femme perfume of hair products and hot girl. Hungry, desperate, she kissed Dani’s neck, dared to bite.

Dani reached up and ran her hands through Grace’s hair. She whispered, “Last night…I did not make you come…”

Grace groaned, “I want to say it’s fine but, fuck, I’ve been going crazy. I got myself off twice thinking about you this morning.”

“You did that for me?” Dani gasped.

Grace buried her face again. “I know. I’m…” She knew what she was, but she couldn’t bear to insult herself in front of Dani.

Dani leaned forwards, slipping her hand up, caressing Grace’s forehead. “You are burning up. Let me help you.” She started to slide her little hand temptingly low. Her light touch was a drug, soothing, making Grace reel.

Grace leaned back to let her slide down, even while replaying her checkered past in her head. She said, “You should have a glove. A latex glove. Something safe – “ Inspiration struck. “I can get myself off for you. While you watch. If you want. I,” Grace laughed a little, bitterly. “I won’t take long.”

Dani ran her hand down Grace’s front. Breathy with amazement, she said, “This is like some movie. That you want me so much.”

Grace knew she was shaking as she reached down, ripped open her fly. “I do. You're gorgeous. Let me kiss you, while I…” Dani had slid to kneel beside Grace on the wide seats. Grace heard Dani breathing fast as she slid two fingers between her own legs, finding herself hot and swollen and that little bit hard. Still hungry for Dani’s touch, she leaned against the smaller woman. Dani arced her chest up to meet Grace, welcoming her. “Thank you. Thank you. I’m gonna come so fast. Fuck. Dani!”

Dani wrapped an arm around Grace’s head, pulled open her own blue uniform shirt. Dani’s skin, her fine curves and scent, delicate yet sheltering, set Grace’s arm hammering herself. The feel of Dani’s fingers lacing through Grace’s hair again, pulling the back oh-so-slightly, did it. Shuddering, mouthing silently, Grace came with blinding intensity.

“Grace,” Dani whispered. She knew. Grace turned her face up for the blessing of more of those wonderful kisses. Loving, forgiving, somehow knowing, like they really had met each other in some past, some future.

Suddenly, Dani froze, then scrambled off Grace’s lap. She dropped her voice. “Somebody is out there. Watching!”

Without thinking, Grace half-stood, spread her arms, as if she could shield Dani’s anger and fear. “Fuck! Stay in here. I’ll deal with this.”

Dani grabbed Grace’s shoulder, pausing her. “No. I go out with you. I’m not going to live in fear for the rest of my life.”

Grace stared at Dani. At the firm mouth, the raised chin, the lowered brow, all the signs of Dani’s pride and strength. After a long, shared look, Dani reached down and zipped Grace’s fly. “Okay,” Grace said, weakly. “Let’s go.”

She opened the door, and –

Grace’s first thought was that it could’ve been worse. It was Sarah.

“Hey,” Grace said. She reached back to help Dani down.

Sarah frowned. “I thought somebody had stamina. It’s a fire truck, not a fuck truck.”

Grace coiled her hands to fists. “We were just – “

Sarah sliced her hand through the air, cutting Grace off. “I know what steams windows, for fuck’s sake. _You_ are not on shift. Get the hell out of here. Offsite. Now.”

Grace stepped back. This one compact woman had the force of noon’s crowd of thousands – and the station’s code of conduct was on her side.

Sarah turned to Dani. “ _You_ are on shift. We are discussing this. Also now.”

Again, Dani lifted her chin. Grace’s heart broke to see it. “Yes, Sarah. In – in the decon room?”

“In the captain’s office.”

Shit, shit, shit.

Dani looked up at Grace. “I will message you. When I can.” Then she followed Sarah’s implacable shoulders away. She turned back once, her eyes as dark and wide as when she’d seen Grace at noon. Grace was left like she’d been twelve hours ago, helpless and cursing. Knowing, now, what they both stood to lose. Wondering if she’d need to fuck Sarah up.


	11. Personal Accountability Report

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A busy chapter. Five important conversations. Four protocol violations. Three standard callouts. Two points of view. And one residential fire.

Dani had been at Moonshine Station for over three months. But she’d never been in the captain’s office before. Tucked into the back of the ground floor, it was more personal than the factory offices she’d seen. Amongst the office shelves, Dani glimpsed fire helmets, gadgets, and lots of photographs, all of men. Packing boxes, too. The captain was retiring. Yesterday had been his last day: his party was tonight. But he was behind on making room for the next captain. 

Sarah strode into the office and went directly to the desk. Dani, stepping out of her way, brushed against a fish trophy on a plaque. She jumped back when the fish whirred to life, moving and singing. _Take me to the river! Drop me in the water!_

That was definitely how Dani felt. She’d been called up here by Sarah – her supervisor – to discuss getting caught steaming up one of the fire trucks with Grace.

Sarah scowled. “I fucking hate that fish. Goddamn robot _toys_. Asking for trouble.” She sat down at the desk and flicked at a computer screen. Taking a small notebook from one pocket, she typed in a password. Then she, stared at the screen. Dani realized she was watching security camera footage. Of her and Grace, half an hour ago. “Datestamp August 29th. Like I don’t have enough problems.”

“Does that make it better or worse?” Dani asked.

“August 29th is never a good day. Not ‘till it’s over.” Sarah watched, twice as grim as before, and pressed something. The screen went still. “You’re lucky this looks like nothing on the record. And that I’m the one who caught you.”

Dani bowed her head. “Yes, Sarah.”

“You and Grace. Are you two dating?”

“I – I don’t know.” Was Grace Dani’s girlfriend, now? Dani felt like the two of them had gone beyond that already.

Sarah said, “You’re over at her place two nights a week, you come by when she’s on shift, she comes by when you’re on shift, and you don’t know?” She sounded angry.

“I have never done this before. Any of this.” Dani tried to sound strong as she admitted that.

“Zero to sixty,” Sarah said, cryptically. She changed tack. “Did anyone put you up to this? Make a bet, challenge you to fuck at the station?”

Dani cried, “No!”

Sarah shrugged. “There was a run of that when the station first opened in January.”

“Grace did not do anything wrong! She saw I was upset and she came to talk to me. When I was shy to talk, she said, the engine for privacy. Then…“ Dani had forgotten everything else in the wonder of learning how much Grace wanted her. She dashed tears away. “Do not punish her. It was my fault.”

Sarah’s fingertips tapped on the desk for half a minute. Finally, she said, “You’re young. You’re good at your job. Fuck knows I did some impulsive shit when I was your age. And maybe this won’t matter by the end of today.” Dani guessed Sarah meant with the change of management at the station.

“So. You’re getting lucky tonight in more ways than one.” Sarah pointed at Dani. “Keep personal conversations on shift under control. If not, I will have to give you a formal warning. That includes a note in your records. If you’d missed an alarm over this I wouldn’t be able to say that. Understand?”

Dani swallowed. “Yes. I will not get distracted again.”

“Grace will be back in five hours. I’ll have a word when she comes in. Then it’s over to you.” Sarah gazed beyond Dani, into the shadows. “If you and Grace both live through today, have her over at the house if I’m not there.”

“But you – your boyfriends –“ Who, Dani remembered, Sarah never had over.

Sarah twisted her mouth. “Yeah, my boyfriends. And my security system. And my razor wire. I see why you didn’t ask.”

Unusually, Sarah pulled the elastic out of her long hair. It fell around her face, shadowing and softening her. From its shelter, she said, “I saw how you two looked at each other when you met. You can go a whole lifetime without that. It only happened to me once.”

“With your son’s father?”

There was a long pause before Sarah said, “Mph.”

After her mother had died, Dani knew what that pause meant. She said, as gently as she could, “Did he die?”

Sarah’s eyes gleamed a little too much in the half-dark office. “That’s all in the past, now. And a future that never happened. What does matter is that if you – if anybody – gets their chances, what happened is worth it.”

She reached up and switched off the screen. “I didn’t see anything tonight. We had nothing to talk about. And,” Sarah pocketed the tiny notebook, “You didn’t see me log into the security system. Again, you understand?”

“Yes, Sarah.”

As Sarah stood up, Dani stepped back to give her room. But she brushed against the toy fish again. _Here’s a little song I wrote! Might want to sing it note for note! Don’t worry…be happy!_

Sarah growled in frustration. “Fucking robot.”

At home, at Sarah’s house, Dani would have teased Sarah a little. She held back. She didn’t want to push too far and ruin Sarah’s forgiving move. And she needed to message Grace. _Don’t worry. Be happy._

* * *

By the end of her shift, which included a 4 AM callout, Dani was heavy with exhaustion. Sarah had kept her distance. Stealing moments to text to Grace had kept her going. Grace, too, felt like what they had was more than ‘dating’. Neither of them had dared to say what it did feel like. But they’d told each other lots of other things.

Dani read over some of them while waiting by the side door for Diego to come in and hand over Taco. After stealing Gabe’s paleo venison snacks last week, Diego’s dog was now on probation at the station. Diego wasn’t bringing him in until they had a new captain, who would decide if dogs were allowed or not.

When they arrived, Dani went over to Diego’s car. She narrowed her eyes against the morning sun. She should get some sunglasses, like Sarah always wore. “I need to talk to you.” She said it in Spanish. This was going to be a very personal conversation. She wanted to talk to her brother, not her co-worker.

Diego handed over Taco’s leash happily. “And I have something to tell you. Gabe asked my permission to go out with you.” He sounded proud.

“Fuck!”

Diego’s face fell. “You do not like Gabe?”

Dani spluttered. “You – he – _dos pendejos_ – first, he asks _you_ permission, instead of talking to me? Like you own me?”

“I was trying to help!” Dani glared at her brother, hands on her hips. Diego said, “Since Mom died…you work so hard, all the time. For Papi, for Tio, for me when I was getting training. For years, you never go out with anybody. Here, I see you smile again. Now somebody asks about you. Maybe it is time?”

Diego was right. It was time. Dani said, “I do not go out with men because I am not interested. I’m a lesbian.”

“A lesbian?”

“I think so.”

Diego leaned against his car heavily. “Everything makes sense now. The two of you…”

To think that Diego had seen her seriousness, her not dating for ages, and he’d seen _that,_ too. Dani suddenly wanted to cry. “Yes, yes. I am sorry. I saw her and – ” Dani made a gesture that tried to take in the whole world.

Diego gestured at his own chest. “Me also! When I really looked at her. But by then she already liked you best.”

Dani curled Taco’s leash around her wrist. “Oh, Diego.” She couldn’t blame him. Anyone would find Grace beautiful.

It sounded like Diego confirmed that. “She is a very attractive woman. American. Blonde. And she looks out for you. And – she is older.”

Dani glanced down. “I know. Not so much older though.”

“Not so much? Sarah is, how old, forty-five?”

Dani spluttered again. “SARAH? You think I am with Sarah? No! It’s Grace!”

“Grace?”

_“Grace!”_

Hearing their loud voices, Taco barked, too.

Dani suddenly, wildly, began to laugh. “It’s all so wrong – ”

“Sarah’s not a lesbian?” asked Diego. “Gabe says all the other women at this station are either lesbians or married.”

“No, no. Sarah always says to me, your brother, such a cute one. The firemen, so hot. She has a son! Older than us!”

Diego beamed. “Yeah?”

“The son sounds like a jerk. Anyway, it’s Grace and me, or it should be if I have not fucked it up, and – all the family – anyway.” Dani opened one hand.

Diego understood. “Papi will have another heart attack.”

“I know. I think if I tell him when I am there, it will go a little better. Let me do it, please.” Dani stared at the edge of the parking lot, gazed beyond it, at the roll of California hills below a powder-blue sky. “What about you?”

Diego said, “It is a lot but…you are my sister. And one of the women of the station, yes?”

“Thank you.” Dani flung herself at him for a hug. Taco leaned against their legs, whining to be petted. Thinking of Sarah’s misery earlier, she added, “I did not want to lose you.”

Diego chuckled. “Usually I am the one trying to not be in trouble with you.” He gave her shoulders a final crush. “I have to go on shift, okay?”

Dani let go. “Or they make you do dishes. Wait. I am coming in with you. I will tell Gabe I am not going out with him myself. I will not say why. He will find out I am a lesbian when everyone else does.”

Diego looked deeply relieved. Dani put Taco in her car and cracked the windows. Then, she pulled out her phone to send Grace a quick text, telling her to hold back if she came inside.

Grace replied curtly. _On way w/Sarah more soon_

Dani smiled. Grace was starting to text like a person, not a machine.

* * *

Grace arrived early for her shift, hoping for a moment with Dani. When she got there, Dani was in the parking lot – but so was Diego. Whatever was going on between them looked intense. Even Taco was listening intently, his dog head tilted with sweet seriousness. Grace gave them some space. After the texts they’d exchanged last night, texts that had her pressing her phone against her heart, Grace was pretty sure that she and Dani were solid. But Dani had warned her that Sarah was going to want to talk. That was what had Grace curdling with indigestion around a coffee she shouldn’t have had.

Sure enough, Sarah was leaning inside the side door. “Harper. Captain’s office.”

Unusually, Sarah’s long hair was down. The moment Grace noticed, Sarah swept her hair back into an elastic. That threw Sarah’s seamed face into hard relief. Grace recognized the pinched, shadowed look, someone who hadn’t had any sleep on a night shift for _reasons_. Add that to Sarah’s baseline irritation at existence, and Grace was on thin ice already.

Grace clocked in. “I can take ten.” Sarah nodded, once, leaving Grace to follow Sarah through. Grace’s boots felt heavy as she went. She hadn’t slept much herself, between exuberance at Dani’s sweet messages, and worrying about what was happening right now.

Sarah opened the captain’s office up. Grace went in, dodging the hair-trigger Billy Bass fish. She paused at the back of the office. After all the admin she’d done there this summer, while the captain was out fishing or ‘networking,’ she’d gone behind the desk on autopilot.

Sarah wasn’t so lucky. She hit the fish with her elbow, and the damn thing burst into song. _First I was afraid! I was petrified! Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side!_ Sarah cursed it out and flung it into a box, which muffled it slightly. _I grew strong! And I learned how to get along –_

Raising her voice over the fish, Sarah snapped, “I fucking hope you’ll redecorate.”

“Will I get the chance?”

Sarah looked up at the ceiling. She said, to the acoustic tiles up there, “It’s always me. I am always the one who has to fix incredibly fucked up situations that can never be spoken of again.”

“I take that as a yes,” Grace said.

Sarah met Grace’s eyes. “This? This is nothing. Mostly because Dani was ready to fix it by herself. That girl could’ve thrown you under a bus.”

Grace said, “If there are consequences, I’m here to face them. And Dani’s not a girl. She’s a wo – a professional – she’s…”

Sarah interrupted this floundering. “Get ready to use your words. But not with me. I’m out tonight. Captain’s retirement party. I’ll probably get my tires rotated afterwards, if you know what I mean.”

Grace folded her arms to glare. “Just because you know about my sex life doesn’t mean I want to know about yours.”

Sarah glared right back. “Whatever’s on between you and Dani is not ‘a sex life.’ It’s a fuck of a lot more than that. Isn’t it?”

Grace turned away. “Yes.”

“Then tell her. When I asked her, Dani couldn’t even say if you two were going out or not.”

Grace turned back. Was Sarah actually mad because of…that? On Dani’s behalf? It seemed like it, because Sarah said, “Do not fuck around with her. You know what the rule is when you’re with somebody younger than you? Leave them better than you found them.”

Grace’s immediate thought was that leaving Dani was the last thing she ever wanted to do. Her next was what she said. “I’m. Trying.”

Sarah’s wide mouth turned down. “I’ll say. As I was trying to explain, before you interrupted, Dani, being a professional, has sorted out that side of it with me, her boss. Tonight I, her landlady, am out at this thing and Dani’s off duty. With an entire house to herself. Think you can make something happen? Like an apology?”

Grace took this in. Let herself breathe, twice. And asked, “Why are you like this?”

Sarah said, “’This’ meaning?”

“You act like you…resent my existence, or something. And then you try to help me out.”

Sarah looked Grace up and down, like she saw a fair bit to resent in Grace’s six feet. But she surprised Grace. “I am going on like this because, out of all the hose-hauling muscle around here, you’re the one who isn’t just playing fire trucks. You have a fucking future.”

Sarah let that sink in. “With Dani. With this station. You’re what this place needs: a woman who gets shit done.”

Grace raised a finger. “Hold that thought. I don’t feel like a woman.”

Sarah huffed. “After thirty-six years of bullshit, I don’t either.”

“No, this is part of who I am. Like,” Grace gave in. “Me being a dyke. I’m nonbinary. There’s male, there’s female, then there’s being outside of those.”

“What does _that_ mean?”

“I am human. Just…” Words failed Grace again.

Somehow, that got through to Sarah. “That’s a thing now. You can do that. Just be human.”

“Yeah,” Grace said.

For one instant, Sarah stared beyond Grace like she was seeing through time. Whatever was going through her, she mastered it to growl, “The fucking important part. Fine. It still means you’re not one of them.”

Sarah gestured at the captain’s wall, with its gallery of stale, pale, male men that had always annoyed Grace. “Smug fucking bastards. Taking everything for granted. We both know it’s hard. That’s nothing’s guaranteed. And you fight it. If shit ever does go down, that’s what people need.”

“Shit goes down here every day.”

Sarah said, “There you have it.”

“I’ll talk to Dani. We are definitely going out. I’ll, uh, check the station manual around that.” Saying those things, Grace felt sorry for Sarah. She was short on friends to not know khow much happened via texting nowadays. And her defending of Dani showing how she’d been fucked over, at some time.

Sarah looked satisfied. “Then we’re done.”

“Uh, thanks. You’re off shift now, right?”

Sarah curled her lip. “Not really. I have to survive today.”

“The captain’s retirement party. Bring a flask or something?”

“Believe me, I will,” said Sarah. With that, she left.

Grace thudded down into the desk chair. All this was why she and Sarah hadn’t gotten along. They were too alike. Too used to always being on the defense, keeping everything inside. Not venting about how fucked what they saw was, because it was hard to stop once they started. Harder to be told they didn’t belong with ‘the boys’, to risk being shut out of what really mattered.

She was just about to get up when the door eased open. Gabe, of all people, came in. After Sarah, human and exhausted, his polished grooming and bland expression struck Grace as wrong, like he was a human-shaped machine. Gabe said, mad already, “What are you doing here?”

“Getting organized. We’re both ahead of shift. What are you doing here?” Grace borrowed Sarah’s wit. “Looking forwards to redecorating?

Gabe glared. Letting emotion show didn’t do him any favors, tightening his mouth to a slot. “You’ve gone too far. Talking smack to Dani about me.”

“Dani.” Grace stood up, slowly. “And why is what I say to Dani your business?”

“Because you,” Gabe stabbed a finger at her, “are undermining me before I apply for captain.”

Grace had seen something like this coming. She and Gabe were almost never in private. She’d clear the air about this, too. “I never talked to Dani about you. But she had some things to say herself. I didn’t say much back. Just reminded her what was what at a station, here. Sounds like you know I’m applying for captain, too. Dani’s got nothing to do with that. Let the committee decide who it’s going to be.”

Gabe pointed where Sarah had, at the gallery of older firemen on the wall. “They’re not gonna make you one of them.”

After Sarah, Grace wasn’t lost for words. “I don’t need to be one of them. I’m me.”

For an instant, Gabe snarled, more savage than any station dog. Time seemed to slow. Grace saw the moment when he lost it, lunging for her, swinging wide with an open paw. “Smug fucking bitch!”

Grace caught the blow against her forearm, turned her hand to cage his wrist. He was shockingly strong “I. Am not. A bitch.”

Gabe jerked his arm back, face tight, eyes locked to her. Grace let him go and tried to reason. “Chill out. We’ve got a job to do.”

Gabe spat, “Fuck if I’ll do it with you more than I have to. Stay out of my way unless we’re on callout.” He left, slamming the door.

Grace rubbed her arm. This was it. Gabe’s antagonism had gone too far. She’d survive this shift, then take this to Carl on Monday. For all her adrenaline, after keeping her cool through two insane conversations, Grace felt invulnerable.

Thirty seconds later, Grace coasted into the rig room, saying, “Morning! What needs doing?” Diego must have had some idea of what was up. He had the expression of a kicked puppy. The rest of the ladder picked up on the vibe, too. Grace knew she couldn’t crack. If she did, with Gabe seething, they’d lose the teamwork they had to have today.

She willed herself to ignore her phone until she could check it in the bathroom. That meant it was an hour in before she checked her messages, learned what Dani had gone through with Diego and Gabe. Gabe had checked with Diego about asking Dani out – old-fashioned, but not dumb, considering Gabe worked with Diego. Dani had told Gabe she wouldn’t date him, and to not bring it up again. Dani turning Gabe down explained why Gabe was so fucked off. Grace groaned. After staring at her phone, weighing all the complications, Grace gave in and sent one final message.

Hours dragged past, one painful bluff after another. At lunch, the captain came in to shake hands over pizza for everyone who was on shift. Grace and Gabe went to opposite sides of the event, both watching each other, neither approaching the departing captain. Actual work was worse. Grace made it through three callouts without Gabe addressing her directly. Diego did what he could to smooth things over. One by one, the others figured out what was going on, helped her out. Grace felt heartened.

Ladder 69 usually ate at seven in the evening, but with the lunch, then callouts and coldness, nobody had picked up dinner fixings. At seven-thirty, Grace asked, “Should we do something for dinner? Order in, for once?”

“Gabe has gone. He said he was going to get something to grill,” Diego said.

“You let him – I guess you would let him.” Letting one person of a ladder go off station was shitty protocol, but Grace needed the break. “We’ll cover. Sorry you’re in the middle of all this. Dani texted me.”

Diego looked even more pained. “Grace – you and my sister – how long…”

“I’ll tell you about it.” This took a while. Grace did her best to tell Diego, along the way, how she really cared about both Dani and the station. That she didn’t want to hurt Dani.

Diego’s face smoothed out as they talked. “Gabe said to me, when he asked about Dani, that he thought she was perfect.”

“He’s got good taste. She kind of is,” Grace said, with reluctant sympathy.

Diego added, “Perfect for a reason. He said that, he wants to be captain, they like it more if you are with someone. A girlfriend, for example. He says he has searched about Dani online. But it is all right, she looks okay, he says. Also Dani knows what it is to do our work, she works with us. So she would be very excellent as a girlfriend for a fire captain.”

Grace said, furious, “Gabe wanted to go out with Dani because she was a fucking _good idea_? To get the captain job?”

“And she says no to everyone else.”

"Because she’s unattainable. As in, no one else can have her. Or,” remembering the teenagers Gabe had flirted with at the street festival, “he thought Dani was inexperienced. And he could get away with shit.”

Diego was saved from replying by the station alarm.

The dispatcher said, “Ladder 69,” and Grace scowled. After the past night and day, her old compulsion to save lives was blunted. “Structural fire, residence, 181 Spruce Street.” The address was familiar, but Grace couldn’t think why.

Diego did. “ _Mierda! Casita de Sarah_ – Sarah’s house!” Where Dani lived.

Grace snapped to life as never before. Her old mission and her new one were the same. Sarah had better be right, she’d better be what the firefighters needed, because – Dani.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The singing-robot-fish-on-a-plaque is a Billy Bass toy.  
> In Terminator canon, for the first and second movies, August 29th, 1998 is the forecast date for Judgement Day. In this 'verse it goes past without a Judgement Day - so far.  
>  _Dos pendejos_ \- Two idiots


	12. Arson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A summer's worth of fires comes together at Sarah's house, while Dani is home alone, and someone needs a reminder a machine isn't worth dying for.

After all the night’s drama, the end of Dani’s shift felt anti-climactic. Sarah hadn’t wanted to carpool to their shift the night before. Dani was glad now. She drove home with Taco. It was lucky, too, that Sarah liked the dog and didn’t mind when Dani dog-sat.

Poor Taco was unsettled after being there while Dani snapped at Diego in the parking lot. Dani gave him extra pettings, and took him for as long a walk as she could stand after a sleepless shift. It wasn’t Taco’s fault, or Diego’s fault, either. Diego had thought he was doing the right thing, talking to Gabe about Dani maybe going out with Gabe. She’d put that to a stop. It had definitely been time for Dani to come out to him. That had gone all right, for all that it was the beginning of talking to her family.

Mami had always said, _a long way, a short step._ She had more steps today: being okay with Sarah, and with Grace. Sarah had said something about surviving the day. Dani felt that in her tired bones.

Walking Taco up and down the sleepy, pine-shaded street where Sarah lived made them both feel better. Dani saw Kate taking her three dogs in next door and waved, trying to make up for her unfriendly thoughts yesterday. She didn’t see Kate often – like emergency staff, veterinarians worked hard - but today was Saturday, a normal person’s day off.

When she got back to the house, Sarah still wasn’t home. Dani did the next important thing. She sat on the house’s back step, while Taco explored the yard, and sent Grace some messages about the parking-lot talk with Diego. Gabe was probably going to be an asshole today. Poor Grace, and Diego, both had to work with him.

Grace didn’t reply right away. Dani slipped inside. She ought to sleep, but she couldn’t. Not before she heard back from Grace. Taco trailed after Dani as she used nervous energy on housework, cleaning the spotless kitchen counters, adjusting magazines, starting her own laundry.

The laundry was in the basement. Down there, Dani paused outside of a dark, locked door: Sarah’s gun room. She’d only been inside once. Worried about Gabe, she wondered if she should ask Sarah if… Dani stopped that idea before finishing it. She was turning into an American. Anyway, this house, with its fence and window bars and security cameras, was a fortress.

Right then, she heard somebody upstairs. Taco woofed, ears pricked happily. Dani went back up. Sarah was home. Dani made herself smile. “Sarah! Do you want some breakfast? I can make those huevos rancheros you like…”

“You don’t have to bribe me for not getting you fired,” Sarah said. “Grace, either. She’ll be in touch with you when she can.” Sarah peered at herself in a small mirror near the stove. “Christ on a crutch. I can’t believe I have to dress up for that goddamn retirement party, tonight of all nights.”

“Could you…not go?”

“I wish. But not if we want _our_ station to get through this funding crisis. Carl and I will be the good cop and the bad cop to a couple of people there about it. Politics aren’t my thing. I don’t know where…never mind.” Dani didn’t get Sarah’s meaning, with all the English idioms, but she let it slide.

Right then, Dani’s phone pinged. She checked it. As if Grace had picked up a signal, she’d sent a message.

_OK with Sarah, surviving with Gabe, today Keeps Happening can we talk later?_

Dani replied. _Yes. Tonight? When you work out?_

_Perfect. Thanks. I love you._

Dani clutched the phone to her. Loved her. Grace loved her. 

Sarah cleared her throat. “Looking forwards to getting rid of me tonight?”

“It is not that. Grace sent me a nice message.”

“Nice, huh,” Sarah said. She shifted to speaking Spanish. “Maybe I will have some eggs with you.”

They ate together. Sarah listened while Dani spilled over with the story of her and Grace. Then, Sarah shared outrageous stories of dubious lovers and fire-and-emergency misdemeanors. Taco sat at their feet, wagging his tail and keeping them safe from stray scraps of tortilla. It was a sunny morning: a hot day. Dani’s last thought, before she went down for a daytime siesta, was to hope Grace didn’t have too many callouts, with people being stupid in the summer sun.

It was one of those days that showed how the emergency services long shift on/day off could really mess with you. Trying to sleep, Dani tossed and turned. Stress brought back those strange nightmares, the fiery science-fiction ones that recast herself and her friends, that felt so real. Dani shook herself out of one and let Taco out her side door for a bit, then crashed again. By the time she got up properly, it was four. The day was mostly gone. Taco was full of beans, waiting for her with his leash in her mouth.

Dani took the dog for another walk, trying to let the afternoon sun wake her up. By the time she got back, Sarah was dressed for that night’s party. She wore a sleek black jacket and trousers, narrow and dangerous. Long earrings brushed her shoulders. Dani was delighted. “You look like a rock star. And the earrings, so nice.” 

“My son gave them to me, back when we were speaking.” Sarah examined herself critically in the mirror again. “He’d probably put up with me like this. A ‘nice mom.’ Until I open my mouth.”

“I would never call you nice. But you are good.” Dani put her hand on Sarah’s shoulder. “I talked to Diego today, and it was all right. I wish I could talk to my mother. But she is dead…”

“Point taken,” Sarah said. She gave Dani’s hand a pat, then moved away. “I’m nobody’s mother Mary tonight. I’m taking the bike. Don’t wait up.”

Dani relaxed. Sarah only took her motorcycle out when she planned to stay relatively sober. “Have a good time,” Dani said. She watched Sarah ride off, closed the gate after her.

Dani checked the time. Soon, Grace should be calling. She was too excited to eat. Taco wasn’t, so she fed him. To stop herself staring at her phone, Dani lay down on her bed to read one of Sarah’s magazines.

Its colourful cover had rainbow-splashed art of the U.S. President, a tagline about an election. Dani couldn’t vote for President Dean, but she liked him. The magazine broke down his chances of getting re-elected, along with other politicians, like that Senator Connor. _California’s golden boy seems unstoppable. Tech-savvy but down to earth, rubbing elbows with Hollywood while remembering his foster-kid roots, his rebellious streak has brought indifferent young men back into the political fold. His rivalry with his East Coast counterpart, Representative -_

Taco whimpered. Dani lifted her head. Outside, next door, she could hear Kate’s dogs barking. Hearing them, Taco started to whine and pace. “Quiet, Taco,” she said. But he started to bark along with them, pacing to the door and back, wanting to go out.

Another sound cut through: somebody leaning on a car horn out front. Dani grumbled, and picked up Taco’s leash. What could be happening on this street? She took Taco and let herself out her room’s door, then went out front to see, Taco’s leash wrapped firmly around her hand.

There wasn’t an accident, but there was a silver SUV, right in front of the driveway. To Dani’s surprise, it held Kate. Dani peered through the gate and waved. When Kate saw Dani, she leapt out, barefoot, red hair wet, shirt half-unbuttoned. Dani was so shocked it took her half a minute to take in what Kate was screaming. “Your house! Sarah’s house! It’s on fire! I would’ve rung your doorbell but I couldn’t get in and Sarah’s not answering the phone and –“

Dani immediately turned around. Kate cried, “It’s the back! Black smoke. Are you having a barbecue?”

“No!” Dani caught the smell she knew from hugs with Grace and Diego: burning. “Fuck!” She spun around to go see, then whirled back, punching the gate’s code in. “Take Taco for me! _Taco, vaya con_!”

“I already called,” Kate started, but Dani didn’t let her finish. She darted to the sheltered back of the house. Inside, a smoke alarm had started going off. The kitchen steps, where Dani had sent Grace messages twelve hours ago, were ablaze. Dani dashed around the fire – she could do that still, barely – going for the garden hose, only to stop. Because a firefighter was already on the scene.

“Gabe?” Dani said. How had he gotten in? 

Gabe was perfectly prepared, bulked up by all his gear. His smile was serene. “I’m here to save you.”

“Fuck saving me! Save this house! The – “ what a time to forget an English word - “The water is behind you!”

Still disturbingly calm, Gabe said, “It’s not safe, Dani. C’mon, let’s get out of here.” He reached for her arm. Dani jerked away.

 _“No tocar! Pendejo!”_ Suddenly, Dani knew, the same way Mami had known when she or Diego did wrong. “You. This fire is you. Grace said some loco was setting fires. Always somewhere she had been. I say no to you and this happens.”

Gabe shook his head, smiling wider, like he’d received a piece of a puzzle. “No, all this…this is Grace. I get it now. You’re not going out with me because that dyke’s been badmouthing me.”

Dani stamped with fury. “ _Cabr_ _ó_ _n!_ All this time, you try to take away everything I love. My brother. Sarah. Now Grace!” Dani tried to get past him to the garden hose. Flames were whirling up the house’s back wall, towards Sarah’s bedroom.

Gabe blocked her. “Dani, that’s crazy. We gotta go now!”

Dani dodged back into the tomato plants. “Crazy, yes! Sarah also – this house has cameras, security – I thought, too much. But we can see how this fire started. We will know.”

Inside his gear, Gabe’s face contorted with horror. He stared beyond Dani for an awful instant.

And threw himself _into_ the doorway of flames.

“No! No! NO!” Dani screamed, and something joined her. The sound of a full six-alarm tiller truck, sirens howling, crunching into the start of the driveway. Dani ran to it, around the house’s back wall of flame.

“Grace!” she called. “Grace!”

Seamlessly, Grace was there, flinging open the tiller’s side door. “Dani! Debrief! Is Sarah here?” Grace turned back to the tiller, unlocking doors, revealing equipment. Three more firefighters jumped out, seized hoses.

“No! The back is on fire. Kate next door, she called, I went to see, Gabe was there!”

Diego, leaping out himself, called, “Gabe? Here?”

Dani cried, “I think he did it! Set the fire! Like if he saved me I would change my mind - he has gone in the house. Through the back door!”

Diego cursed in Spanish. Grace cried, “Dani, stay here. Never go into a burning house!”

Dani gasped. Suddenly, her eyes were overflowing, for all that she hated Gabe. “He is inside and it is so locked, window bars…”

Diego threw his shoulders back. “Grace, be the lieutenant. I will get Gabe!” He called an order into a radio, pulled an axe from the equipment and ran around back.

Grace howled, “FUCK! No, Diego! What did I just say?”

Dani clutched her. “If anyone can get him Diego can. He knows the house!”

Grace stared beyond Dani, too, but she’d never looked more human, torn by fear and hope. She nodded, then snapped some orders into a microphone in her helmet. Dani started to go towards the house again. Grace stopped her with an arm. "I'm here to protect you."

Dani protested, “I want to unlock the front! My door is open, but…”

“Good point, I’ll do it – wait.” Grace tilted her head, getting a radio message, then barrelled off. Dani couldn’t help but follow, around to the house’s right side.

At first, Dani was relieved to see Diego staggering out through her side door, arms around Gabe. But then she realized they were fighting – that Gabe was trying to get back in! Grace swooped over. With her on one side, and Diego on the other, the two dragged Gabe out front. Diego and Gabe were black with smoke, and Gabe was spitting curses. Grace tried to drown him out with orders. Diego was saying, “Saving camera, computer, not our job. Not us! Lives, not machines!”

Dani heard more sirens. Another truck pulled up. Dani pointed the second round of firefighters to the mess around Gabe. The new fire lieutenant cursed and split his crew up. Two of them went to help drag Gabe. The lieutenant and his second yanked out a hose to douse the house, now visibly ablaze. It had happened so fast. Dani coiled her fists, thinking of her phone, her mother's sewing machine, both inside. But Diego was right. It wasn't worth dying for them.

As they went over, Grace ducked free, head tilted, eyes darting, trying to take everything in at once. After hearing something Dani couldn’t on her radio, Grace said, “Dani, you have to get – here – with me – cover your ears.” Grace reached for Dani, curled around her. Dani flung herself into the embrace, trying to feel Grace under four layers of gear.

That meant she was shielded when Sarah’s blazing house _exploded._

The force of it made Grace stagger. Dani braced while hiding her own face from a hail of wood and glass. When she dared to peek around Grace, she saw how half of the blow-up had been caught by the pine trees shading the house’s front. The poor trees, broken and smoldering, burst into flames as she watched.

The knot of firefighters around Gabe froze, every man dumbstruck. Every dog in the neighbourhood was howling. More sirens joined them. The street squealed with tires, more fire engines, police cars. As Grace released Dani, talking to her radio again, Dani caught a new, familiar sound. The roar of an expensive motorcycle.

Dani looked up to see a slim, dark figure striding through the chaos like it meant nothing. Dani called, “Sarah!”

Sarah walked over. Calmly, she surveyed the flaming wreckage. Dani didn’t know where to begin _. You were right about surviving today? I am so sorry, a crazy man set fire to your house? Do you have a phone number for Kate, who has Taco? What did you truly have in the gun room?_

Sarah found her tongue first. “When I said, have Grace over, this is not what I meant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Taco, vaya con_ – Taco, go with!  
>  _No tocar! Pendejo!_ – Don’t touch me, you asshole!  
> You'll note tags have been updated a bit, despite this chapter's occurrences!


	13. Safe Zone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a dramatic house fire, everyone’s back at Moonshine Station, picking up the pieces. Dani and Grace. Sarah and Diego. Kate the vet and…Senator John Connor?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Dani and Grace are the focus here, so femslash ahoy, but a mild warning for het couples making progress too. The F/M tag is there for a reason!

It was one in the morning when the last non-firefighter left Moonshine Station. Grace watched them go. For a while, there had been a cop, social worker, or detective for every firefighter in the place. After Gabe's combination of arson and a semi-suicidal meltdown, they’d taken custody of Gabe. As well as every item of Gabe’s that they could, and copies of the station’s security videos. Sarah had said she’d get them her security system’s videos tomorrow.

Sarah’s security system had pinged her phone with video of Gabe climbing her back fence with a ladder – right in the middle of the old captain’s retirement speech. When Dani hadn’t answered the phone, Sarah had burned rubber getting back to her place. Gabe had tried setting a small fire to draw Dani out and 'rescue' her. Dani hadn't wanted any rescuing, and after Gabe blocked her from fighting the fire, the flames had spiraled out of control. Sarah, and half the firefighters and cops in Big Bear, had arrived just in time to hear her house explode from the end of her block. Only Grace's ladder had been on the scene earlier, and Gabe had been a handful for them.

The police had taken statements from Grace, Dani, everyone on Gabe’s ladder, Carl, and Sarah. A jittery detective had asked Sarah, “Did you, uh, the way it exploded, maybe you had your furnace oil tank filled for the winter?”

“You’re _right._ I did. Gabe might’ve added something to it all, too. If you know how to stop a fire, you know how to start it.” The officials had bought this. Sarah’s last statement was, “The kid was always a snot.” Nobody disagreed with her – not even Diego. Grace saw Diego open his mouth, think for once in his life, and close it.

After that, the officials filtered away. The fire crews had been prepping their engines again. Carl had done the rounds, having a word with everyone involved. He'd left to check in at other stations. Adrenaline was finally simmering down. It was almost normal, after a standard callout to a structure fire. Except this time, it had been two of their own caught up in it. Dani was having a lot of hugs inflicted on her. She didn’t seem to mind, which led to hugs being offered to Sarah, who did.

Finally, after a few long sculls from her pocket flask, Sarah snapped. “Thanks for the help, fireboys. Head upstairs and take a nap. Have a juice box. Sometimes mommies and daddies need to have grown-up conversations.”

That left Grace, Dani, and Sarah in the rig room, with one big garage door open to the summer night, and Diego still hovering.

Sarah, still in her formal clothes, turned to Dani. “If you want a man to quit listening to you, the easiest thing to say is _you’re right_. How’re you holding up?”

“I am okay,” Dani said. Grace didn’t believe her. She was pale, standing tightly. She had changed into the spare set of station blues she kept here, complete with shoes. These, and her leggings and t-shirt, were the only clothes she had left. "I should be tired, but I am not.”

Sarah’s mouth twisted. “Same here. Explosion adrenaline is something else. Use it while you’ve got it…Loretta’s on dispatch. I talked to her and moved our schedules around, got you the next two days off.”

“Thank you.” Dani bowed her head. “Sarah. I am so sorry.”

Grace had to say it. “You didn’t do anything wrong!”

“I never wanted anyone to be in danger because of me. This was…” Dani shook her head.

Sarah said, “People are freaks, kiddo. I’m sorry you found out like this. But I’m glad you didn’t find out in _other_ ways.” That got Sarah the only hug that Dani had given of her own volition since getting to the station.

Diego still looked shellshocked. When Dani let go, he said to Sarah, “You are sure you are all right?”

“I’m fine,” Sarah said. She drank from her flask again, tucked it away.

Diego shook his head. “Your house exploded!”

“It’s not the worst thing that’s ever happened to me,” Sarah said. She even sounded amused.

“My sister could have died! You could have died!”

Sarah sighed. “You’re not fine. Listen, soldier.” She reached up and clasped Diego’s face between her hands. “It’s a close call, seeing a place where you spent time get wrecked. Knowing someone you love almost died. It fucks you up. I _know_. But it’s worse when someone has died. Like I told Dani, be glad it was like this.”

Diego stared at Sarah for a moment, cupping his right hand over hers, on his cheek. Then, either he scooped Sarah in, or Sarah leaned into him, and the two of them were kissing like oxygen was optional.

Grace gaped. Dani had color in her face again, blushing tawny-rose, hand over her mouth. Catching Grace’s eye, she whispered, “I am not very surprised.” Grace nodded. She had to admit Sarah, still in formal wear, cleaned up well.

Sarah and Diego did have to give in and breathe. When they did, Sarah said, to Diego, “We’re going to your bunk. I need a shower.” She tilted a finger at Grace and Dani. “You both owe me, remember.” She added something in Spanish that made Dani blush harder, then went upstairs. Diego, hand entwined in hers, followed happily.

Grace and Dani were alone together.

Grace coughed. “I would kiss you like that. Totally. But we’ve, uh, been busy.”

Dani rose on her tiptoes and kissed Grace’s cheek. “That explosion…you saved me.”

Grace had failed to stop an arsonist or save a structure. The station would deal with the repercussions for months. She felt a warm glow of delight anyway. “Would you believe it if I said I feel like you saved me?”

Dani smiled, disbelievingly. “From what?”

“Myself.”

Dani wrapped her arms around Grace’s waist, leaned her head against Grace’s collarbone. She fit there incredibly well. “I would say you are concussed. Except I know you are like this all the time.”

Grace said, “I’m serious. I see how you are here, saving person after person. Caring about your brother. Being so fucking nice to Sarah, of all people. Knowing you – being afraid of losing you – that’s what saved me. Made me human. Dani…” Grace bent her knees and kissed Dani like she’d wanted to for months. Tenderly, deeply, at length, while Dani reached for her, welcomed her.

A woman in front of them cleared her throat. “Uh – excuse me?"

A man said, amused, “It’s cool. We can wait.”

Grace started up at the two voices, both of them familiar, though she couldn’t think why until she saw them. Kate, the vet who was – well, had been – Sarah’s neighbour was there. And somebody else was, too. “Oh my God,” Grace said.

Dani gasped with delight. “It’s him!” She dropped to her knees.

Together, Grace and Dani yelled, “TACO!”

Kate let Diego’s dog go. Taco rocketed into Dani’s open arms.

“I figured you’d be here,” Kate said, beaming. Grace had never seen Kate such a mess, wearing mismatched sneakers and an oversized sleep shirt buttoned wrong over leggings. "This is Grace, one of the firefighters here, and the short one is Dani, Sarah's roommate."

Someone stepped out from behind Kate. Grace blinked at a trim white man, blondish-brown hair flopping into his eyes, wearing, of all things, a tuxedo. He asked, “Is Sarah here?”

Grace frowned. Why did he look familiar, too? Local government? “Were you at the party earlier?”

His smile was easy. “I was. Probably not the one you’re talking about, though. I’m Sarah’s son.”

Dani leapt up. “I saw you on television. Senator Connor!”

Grace felt her jaw drop. That was why she kinda-sorta recognized the guy. She’d voted for him.

“That, too,” he said.

Dani pointed at him. _“Tu pendejo!”_ Taco barked.

He sighed. _“Sarah hablando de mi, eh?”_

Dani lit into him, still in Spanish. Kate stepped back from this drama. “Hi, Grace.”

Grace waved a little. “Hi, Kate. What...how did this happen?”

“John showed up half an hour ago and banged on my door. He told me he’s Sarah’s son. He was swearing so much I figured it was true.”

Grace felt her eyebrows lift. “John?”

Kate actually went coy, tugging on her red hair. “We were in junior high together, can you believe it? My Dad’s in the army, his mom was Special Forces, we were at a base school together for a while. He – um – anyway, he remembers me too. Which is amazing, considering!”

Grace checked on Dani. Her arms were folded. She’d stopped insulting John long enough for John to sound like he was explaining something, almost pleading. Grace caught a word she kinda-sorta understood, _inauguraci ón. _If Sarah was your tough-as-nails mom, and you were getting inaugurated as a U.S. Senator, and you asked her to tone herself down – Grace understood why John would have tried. And how pissed off Sarah would have been. Dani looked like she was relenting, so Grace guessed John was sorry.

Grace turned back to Kate. “You said Sarah was Special Forces?”

“John never could say much about it. I never met her then. That was normal - the whole base was intelligence people. Anyway, life happened, we lost touch, but he heard what happened to his mom’s house and came right down. So nice of him.” Kate sounded smitten. _The boy next door,_ Grace remembered Kate saying.

They both turned to Dani and John. Dani was now lecturing a bemused John, faster than Grace had ever heard her speak Spanish. John was keeping up, talking when Dani let him, making the sign of the cross. Finally, Dani nodded.

John said, “I think I’m allowed to talk to my mom now. Where do we find her?”

Grace said, hastily, “I’ll get her.” She loped upstairs.

In the corridor that held the eight small bunk rooms, there was police tape across the door of the bunk Gabe had picked that night. Grace knocked on the only closed bunk door. “Hey?”

“What?” That growl was Sarah’s, all right.

“Uh…” Grace thought about how Dani had been scolding John’s son. She dodged everything by saying, “Kate’s downstairs. Your neighbour.”

“Shit. Give me a sec.” It took thirty of them for Sarah to open the door. She had showered, Grace gave her that, and cleaned up even better: long hair slicked back, face bare, green eyes wide and glowing. Like a satisfied cougar. “Diego’s napping,” was all she said.

At the bottom of the stairs, Grace cleared her throat. “You and Diego?”

Sarah glared up at Grace as they strode into the rig room. “What’s it to you? I told you I’m nobody’s Mother Mary.”

John's voice carried perfectly across the wide space. “Oh yes you are. Mom.”

Sarah caught sight of her son and froze. “John,” she said, aghast, almost afraid. Right away, she hardened. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

John spread exasperated hands. “Your fucking house blew up! I got the alert six goddamn hours ago at the governor’s ball. Broke every speed limit from here to Sacramento getting here.”

“You had me under surveillance? You little shit.” Sarah raised her hand to her face, like she didn’t know if she should cover her mouth or her tear-glinting eyes. “You were always fucking brilliant.”

John’s face lit, for an instant, with the smile that had won California. “The cops aren’t. They couldn’t say if anyone had died or not. I know you’re…we’re…“ John suddenly looked very, very tired. He squared his shoulders. “I had to know. Mom.”

They stared at each other, an arm’s length apart, startlingly alike in their formal wear and exhaustion. Sarah went down first. “Fucking goddamn it.” She gave in to her son’s hug.

Dani, who had been dry-eyed all night, suddenly burst into tears and dashed away. Taco darted after. Grace followed them.

Dani hadn’t gone far. She was shuddering over the sink in the decon area. Taco was leaning against her knees, whimpering. “Hey,” Grace said.

After all the grabby hands tonight, she waited until Dani chose to lean against her, Taco following. For long minutes, Grace stood there, letting Dani cover her with tears and Taco cover her station blues with white dog fur. She forced herself to stay silent, not prying Dani open with questions, not begging for more reassurance. Instead, she leaned down to skritch Taco and tell him he was a good boy. Dani, watching that, sniffed and smiled. “I cannot believe how nice everybody is being.”

“You deserve it,” Grace said. “Sarah had a point, about close calls. We were fucking lucky.”

Dani dashed her hand across her eyes. "No, we were not! Not lucky. I am alive because people acted. Helped. You. Kate! The firefighters. Luck, fate...letting things happen..." Dani stood up very straight, "I say, fuck fate."

Taco yipped, tail wagging. Grace’s heart ached at how strong and alive Dani was, already on fire again after that terrible night. Dani was the one who said, "Let us go back." 

When they came out together, Kate was alone in the rig room. Somebody had shut the big garage door. Grace asked Kate, “Where’d they go?”

“Diego came down. Then they went upstairs to meet some of the guys. I didn’t know Sarah was seeing your brother,” Kate said to Dani.

“It is very recent,” Dani said, with a twinkle.

Right then, John spun down the firefighter’s pole. Landing neatly, with just the right knee flex, he said, “Always wanted to do that.” He turned his switched-on smile to Kate. “I can’t thank you enough. I owe you. Mom says she’ll hang with her latest – her boyfriend here, then go to his place. I’ll crash at one of the hotels. She and I will catch up in the morning.” He dropped his voice a bit. “We’re doing so well at not killing each other. Don’t wanna spoil it.”

Kate leaned towards him, wrapping hair around her fingers again. “It’s hard to check in this late. If you wanted…I have space...”

Grace backed away to let them sort it out. When she did, she tripped over Taco, then bumped into Dani. More flustered than Kate, decades less smooth than Sarah, she did what neither of them had done, and asked directly. “Are you going to Diego’s too? Or would you want to come to my place?”

Dani said, “Your place. Please.”

Relief flooded Grace. Dani would be with her – really be with her – for a little while. “I’m on duty for another six hours. But,” Grace unbuttoned her shirt pocket, right over her heart. “Here are my keys.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Tu pendejo!_ \- You asshole!  
>  _Sarah hablando de mi, eh?_ \- Sarah's been talking about me, huh?
> 
> In much _Terminator_ canon, Kate Brewster is John Connor's love interest. In _Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines_ (yeah, I know) Kate and John overlapped in eighth grade and shared their first kiss together. Kate went on to become a veterinarian, encountered John again before Judgement Day, and had her own turn dodging a Terminator. She's having a better time in this 'verse.


	14. Rekindling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After months of wanting, and a night that's changed everything, Dani finally gets Grace where Dani wants her - in a bed, with time to make love and talk.

In the darkness after midnight, it took Dani three tries to unlock the door to Grace’s apartment. When she’d done it, she turned and waved at the car behind her. Kate had given her a ride to Grace’s place. Seeing Dani’s wave, Kate flashed her lights and drove off. Sarah’s son – Senator Connor – was still in the car with Kate. With the fascinated tension between them, Dani didn’t think it would take them long to become a couple.

Dani sighed deeply and climbed up the stairs to Grace's apartment.

The door at the top was shut. Dani eased herself in quickly and turned on the lights. She was greeted by a delighted squeak, a scamper across the wood floor. Grace’s kitten, Smokey, was delighted to see her. Dani figured out why right away. Smokey sat beside empty cat bowls and cried. Dani went ahead and fed Smokey, the way she’d seen Grace do this, wet food and dry food, not too much. The little cat purred audibly as she ate, taking a break to pause and weave fondly around Dani’s knees.

That was when it hit her.

Dani had lost her home here in tonight’s fire – but only one of her homes. The station where she worked was home, too, a familiar place, friendly faces. Her uncle’s hacienda in Mexico, her father’s home now, would welcome her if she needed it. And then there was this place. Grace’s apartment. She’d spent so much time here this summer, teaching Grace to cook, watching the Olympics, playing with Smokey. Talking and laughing and _almost_ kissing Grace. 

Thinking about making Grace breakfast, waking up wrapped around her…Dani wished this could be her home, too. Their home, together. She could admit, now, that she’d hated leaving Grace every time a visit here had ended.

Dani shook her head. It wasn’t for her to decide. She felt oddly light. Part of that was exhaustion, and part of it being aware that she owned hardly anything, after the house fire - her only other outfit fit into the plastic bag she'd put down to feed Smokey. She didn’t even have a cellphone anymore. Part of it was something new. For the first time since Dani had come to the States, she wasn't worrying about Diego. Somehow, while he was with Sarah, he was safe. It meant that she could do whatever she needed, for a while. Dani knew she had a lot to do to make sure she had a future. Starting with some sleep.

By the time Dani was ready for bed, she didn’t feel quite as home as she had while feeding Smokey. She’d showered - Grace's shower head was too high up for Dani to adjust it. She’d borrowed one of Grace’s t-shirts to sleep in - it was as long as a nightgown on her. She’d got herself a glass of water – she needed to stand on a chair to reach where Grace had put the glasses. Finally, Dani stared at the sofa, at the bed, at the sofa again. While she was deciding, Smokey dashed across the floor and jumped on the bed. The kitten turned around, chased her tail, then blinked at Dani with an encouraging mew.

Dani chose the bed.

Grace had Nordic-style sheets, only a duvet and base sheet on her summer bed, smooth and cool. The last thing Dani thought as she stretched into the pillows was that Grace’s extra-long bed was definitely extra-comfortable. There was plenty of room for the kitten snuggling beside her.

It felt like only a few minutes later when Dani blinked herself awake. Grace’s bedroom was bright with sunlight. Dani could hear Grace, in the living area, talking to the cat. “Who’s a kitty? Who’s a hungry kitty? You. You are! You want your breakfast. Breakfast! Yes!” Smokey was mewing as if Dani hadn’t fed her a few hours ago.

Dani sat up, calling, “Good morning!”

In response, she heard Grace spilling dry cat food, dropping a bowl, slamming a cupboard door. “You’re awake! Don’t get up. I brought coffee.”

Dani tucked her smile behind her hand. “I promise.”

Grace half-shouted, “I didn’t know if you liked sweet or savory for breakfast, so I got both. An egg sandwich and a blueberry muffin.”

Dani suddenly felt tearful. Nobody had brought her breakfast since her mother had died. “The sandwich, please. But not yet. I need to be awake first.”

Grace brought the coffee through. Dani sat up in bed to sip the huge latte. It wasn’t café con leche, but it was hot and good. Grace looked the way she always did at the end of a shift: eyes smudged with tiredness, golden cap of hair disarrayed after a day of helmets on and off. As Dani sipped, she watched, leaning against the doorway, radiating satisfaction. “God, I’ve wanted you in my bed.”

Dani looked up from a sip. “At the same time as you?”

Grace lit up with a big, wicked smile. “Fuck, yes.”

“Then…” Dani flipped the duvet back. “There is plenty of room.”

She was suddenly too shy to watch Grace undress for the first time. She only turned once Grace was under the covers.

Grace slid down behind Dani, pausing to wrap her big hands around Dani's waist. Dani turned to slide into Grace’s arms. They’d never been this close before, Grace’s chest bare against the thin cotton clinging to Dani. Danis slid hands through Grace’s hair – still damp underneath, fresh and clean. Very slowly, the way she’d always wanted to, she kissed Grace.

Either Grace tasted like coffee, or she did. Probing to find out, entranced by her lover’s mouth, led to Dani being on top of Grace. Only for a moment: Grace caught Dani’s hips and flipped them both over. In two seconds, Grace was above her. Dani reached up and slyly brushed Grace’s nipples. Grace started. “Ah! I’m sensitive.” She reared back, up.

“Let me look at you. You are so fucking gorgeous. Right here…” Dani closed her eyes. Grace was stroking the hem of the white t-shirt Dani wore. It had slid up to crotch level. Grace slid it up further. Dani knew what Grace could see, went breathless thinking about it. She could tell that Grace was leaning down. Closer…closer…Grace was pulling the hem up more…

Just to drive Dani mad, Grace kissed her way _up_ , to Dani’s own breasts. “I need this – fuck, yeah.” Grace’s hands pressed Dani’s breasts. “I can’t stop thinking about biting you right here.”

Dani pressed her eyes tight, whispered, “Not too hard.”

“No. Oh, no.” The soft, teasing mouthing that followed made Dani writhe. Grace moved her mouth over the t-shirt and up to Dani’s neck, for more bites that made Dani shiver.

Dani grabbed Grace’s hair and pulled her nose to nose. “You are making me crazy!”

Grace thudded down beside Dani, to her right. She said, “I want you to want me. There’s been so much going on. I – ”

Dani put a finger on Grace’s lips. “No talking. No thinking. Only love me.” She needed this to happen. To make everything worth it.

“Fuck,” Grace groaned. And did.

Grace was more thorough and taunting than last time. With her long limbs, she could wrap one arm around Dani’s shoulders, holding Dani close while also reaching between Dani’s legs to work Dani to ecstasy. And Grace did talk, but only to ask things, like _is that good?_ and _more?_ and _do you want any toys? a vibrator?_ Already swept away, unable to want anything but Grace, Dani said _no, do that, do that more more more -_

When they were catching their breath, Dani said, amazed at her own energy, “What are these toys you spoke about? I want to see.”

“They’re here.” Grace reached to the stand on Dani’s side of the bed and opened up a drawer.

Dani leaned over, fascinated. She’d worried that they’d be hard, being mechanical, or made of ugly latex, ink-black or dead-white-person colors. But Grace’s toys were different. Dani glimpsed curving shapes, vivid colors. Grace pulled a few out. “I’ve got a couple of, uh, shafts, this is a butt plug but I’m guessing you’re not up for that right this _second_ , these ones, they vibrate. They’re my favorite.”

Dani tilted her head. “You don’t mind having something electric inside you? Against you?”

Grace shrugged. “I guess not. But when it’s all going right, it feels like part of me.”

“Which one do you like best?”

"The blue one," Grace said, right away.

"To match your eyes!" Dani pulled it out. It was long in her small hand, a shaft with a smooth upwards curve, made friendly by an extra bud of its soft substance. Like it was giving Dani an encouraging thumbs–up. The base of it was a tiny command center, buttons waiting for a press. “Can I try this?”

Grace reached across Dani, going for a little package. “Sure! Let me wrap it up for you.”

Dani reached, in turn, to pause Grace. “No. I mean, I try it on you.”

“Oh?” Grace said. Then, “Oh,” when she caught the look in Dani’s eye. Then “Yes, ma’am.” She handed Dani a glove, like Dani had asked for it. Dani put it on and instantly forgot about it, because Grace had flung back the Nordic quilt, baring her long limbs.

Grace was almost perfect. “Choners off,” Dani said.

Grace was blushing, like she did sometimes, and didn’t _that_ go further down than Dani had imagined. Grace coiled up to pull at her underwear. “I guess you mean these? There.” Slowly, she lay herself down.

Dani caught her breath, because, nude, laced with a few scars, biting her lower lip nervously, Grace was perfect. She drew one of Grace’s legs to the side, kneeling in-between. Rearranging Grace, feeling Grace do what Dani’s gentle touches told her, was strangely exciting. Dani let herself look at last, following her gaze with touches. “Is it all right for me to touch you here?” Dani stroked Grace’s long, strong throat.

“Yes,” Grace said, turning that into a raw gasp when Dani leaned down to bite her there, softly.

“And here?” Dani asked, tracing down Grace’s chest.

Grace was silent before saying, “If it’s you. Ah – your hair – don’t move it – it’s nice.”

Inspired, Dani shook her head, let the tips of her hair swish across Grace. Grace groaned.

As if her fingers were drawn down by invisible lines, Dani couldn’t resist stroking Grace’s taut belly. Dani had the odd feeling Grace should have had a tattoo there. Before she could ask permission, Grace burst into nervous laughter. “That tickles!”

Dani lifted her touch, slid down to straddle one of Grace’s legs. Grace’s body was truly amazing, trim and androgynous, small nipples perfectly round. Daringly, she let her fingertips stroke the top of Grace’s pubes, rough and slick through. Grace rasped, “You know you can touch me there.”

It turns out Dani loved doing that. Again and again. That was why she’d been so hungry and impatient while letting Grace touch her. Having all that strength so vulnerable for her, making Grace cry out – it turned out that was everything she’d wanted. She stroked with her fingers until Grace’s muscles were clasping most of her hand, and every breath of Grace’s was a little cry. She was shocked at how much she could feel inside, worried she would hurt Grace – until she remembered the toy. Dani fumbled it up with her left hand, managed to press the button, and moved its tip against Grace’s clit.

Grace arced into the machine, cursing with delight. Shortly, Dani was sliding it inside her. The humming width and length fit perfectly, like a missing part of Grace, and the way Grace came left both of them beaming.

Afterwards, it was just the two of them, nothing between them. Dani found herself stroking Grace’s hair, resting her chin on Grace’s head. Lying down together, their height difference had vanished. Dani shifted to kiss Grace’s tousled blonde hair. The sheets rustled slightly. When Dani stretched her toes away from Grace, the bed was cool, a contrast to the delicious heat Grace sent out like a furnace.

Grace tilted her face up, meeting Dani’s eyes. Subdued, she asked, “Can we talk now?”

Dani said, “Yes.”

Grace shifted, elbowing up until they were face to face. “I need to know. What do you want now?”

“The sandwich.”

Grace smiled, briefly. “After that. Are you going to stay at the station, keep working with us, or go back to your family?”

Dani thought how she helped her family by being here, more than Grace knew. For the moment, she settled on, “This is my job. All that is different is now I know how it is for the people we help.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes,” Dani said, firmly.

Grace sighed, placing a hand on Dani’s breastbone. “I’m glad you still want to be here.”

 _Here._ That could mean several things. “Thank you for letting me come here today. Soon…I can always go where Diego lives. Or maybe Sarah wants a roommate again.”

“Stay as long as you like.” Grace admitted, “When you came over for dinner, all those times, and you’d leave afterwards, I didn’t want you to go. It didn’t feel right.”

Dani put her own hand on top of Grace’s. “I felt the same.”

Grace breathed in wonder. For a long minute, they gazed at each other. Dani felt they were on the edge of something enormous. Maybe even a future. Their own fate, at last. And from that, Dani realized what Grace needed to hear.

“Wherever I am, I want to be with you.”

For that, Dani got wrapped in Grace’s long, strong arms. Now it was Grace nuzzling the top of Dani’s hair, starting to kiss her again. “I can’t get over how good you smell.”

Dani was torn between the heaven of being in Grace’s arms and being hungry. The sandwich really was calling her name. But to eat it, she’d have to leave Grace, for at least a minute.

Grace’s phone rang. Grace let Dani go to scramble for it. Dani took the moment to search for the t-shirt Grace had tossed away. Before Dani could put it on, Grace said, “It’s for you. Beth, the nurse from the station.”

Dani took the phone. “Hello, Beth! You heard the news, yes? I hope the schedule changes are not a problem?”

“Never mind the schedule! Not after what just happened! Sarah’s house getting set on fire by - listen, a couple of us have been calling around. We put together a collection for you and Sarah, some cash and some gift certificates from local businesses. You can get some stuff to get started with while Sarah sorts out her insurance.”

Dani doubted her things were covered by Sarah’s insurance. She’d expected to empty her savings to get what she needed. It took her a moment to get her voice back.

After Dani thanked her, with a hitch in her voice, Beth asked, “How are you holding up? Are you okay?”

Dani leaned into Grace’s strong arm, wrapped around her again. “I am very okay.”

Just to prove that, Smokey launched onto the bed beside her - poum! - and started mewing. Like it was Dani’s turn to feed her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tall person kitchens, am I right?
> 
>  _Cafe con leche_ = Coffee with milk. About the same proportions as a latte, but not foamy.  
>  _Choners_ = Underwear, slang.


	15. Wet Down Ceremony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter! Does Grace become captain of Moonshine Station? What happens to Gabe? Sarah? Maybe Senator Connor proposes to someone and gets re-elected? Most of all, how does it work out with Grace and Dani?

After the morning when Grace joined Dani in bed, things happened fast.

That Sunday night, Grace submitted her formal application to be the station’s captain. Dani listened patiently as Grace went through it and offered some good advice. Helped her sound more human.

When Grace showed up for her shift on Monday, Carl asked her to serve as interim captain. Grace said yes, asking Otis if he’d join her as next in command.

Her first task was reviewing candidates for Ladder 69's next lieutenant. Everyone backed Diego. Grace was a little wary about that, but she decided to give him his chance. As soon as him being the lieutenant was announced, there were twenty applications to fill in the three vacancies at Ladder 69. There was always a backlog of would-be firefighters. Experienced firefighters knew it was crazy for someone to go back into a burning building for one of their own, like Diego had. But they respected it, too.

The station needed all of them. For the next week, station life was chaos: calls from the media, fingers pointed at the city council, smug visits from the former captain, and evidence being gathered for an investigation around Gabriel Nueves. Senator Connor’s incisive interest made all of it more intense.

Sarah crammed into Diego’s bed at his group house for two weeks. She didn’t mind bantering with his seven roommates. She told Dani she only moved out because ordering eight guys around was a lot, even for her. After her house’s total destruction, her insurance covered a handsome rental in a gated community. Dani nearly cried with relief when Sarah said the insurance covered Dani’s fire-damaged car, too.

By then, Grace and Dani had agreed: Dani would move in with Grace. It seemed so natural that there weren’t even any U-Haul jokes.

A month later, Carl supported them all through the investigation that confirmed Gabriel Nueves had started six previous fires.

Its climax was a court hearing in the county capital, San Bernardino. Grace and Dani only went to provide testimony. Diego stayed through the whole thing – the only one of their ladder to do so. Sarah watched it all, too. Grace was outraged when Gabe was found guilty but mentally incapacitated. Sarah was smug. “They’re sending him to the Pescadero Center for Mental Health Rehabilitation. I hope he likes thorazine, or whatever the shut-up drug of the year is.”

Grace frowned. “Wasn’t there a scandal about that place a while back?”

“Yep. When it was the Pescadero State Hospital for the Criminally Insane.” Sarah looked very satisfied.

Diego, after the hearing, was shell-shocked. Sarah waved a hand in front of his face and dragged him back to her rental. He stayed there for most of a week. When Grace caught up with him following that, Diego was different. In a good way. The bounce he’d had before was replaced with something else: the knowing look Sarah had at times. He began to listen that little bit more than he talked, taking the lead like a lieutenant should. He started writing his own songs to play, too, and getting more music gigs.

Dani said to Sarah, “Thank you for helping Diego. What did you say to him?”

Sarah shrugged. “You just have to learn to live with it – and decide how much truth about it all you need to tell.”

Grace knew she was insulated from any angst about the arson affair by being so in love with Dani. The feeling that she should be doing something big had stopped haunting her. All the small things in life carried that importance, now. Arguing about the best ways to grocery shop and arrange the fridge. Letting Dani guide her through the farmer’s market. Watching Dani’s satisfaction as she put a bunch of flowers in a jar on the dining table. Laughing their way through Smoky meeting Taco for the first time. Going on hikes, helping friends with their gardens. Taking Dani through all the toys in Grace’s bedside drawer – and having Dani take her right back. Most of all, the animal pleasure of curling around Dani in bed, or feeling Dani curl around her. She had never been happier.

Being confirmed as the captain would have been a huge deal to Grace a year ago. Now, it barely registered. Grace had already been doing the work for a month and a half, and it had been insane. She hated to admit it, but Gabe had been right. Dani made a great partner for a fire captain. She had it all: sensible advice, an extra pair of sharp eyes, a feeling for extra care that went right to the heart of Grace’s issues-around-her-mom. Their age difference felt non-existent.

Grace did her best to be there for Dani as well. Listened as Dani talked out how it might go, coming out to her father. Opened the door to have Diego and Sarah over for Sunday night dinners, when their schedules allowed it. Held Dani when she woke up from long, strange nightmares. Grace was impressed by the detail Dani remembered. When she said Dani should maybe write science-fiction books or movies, Dani scoffed. “Who wants to see a movie about robots who look human?”

Senator Connor was re-elected in November, despite accusations that he’d proposed to Kate Brewster in October, mid-campaign, for the publicity.

Two weeks after the election, Grace was at their semi-elopment wedding in Las Vegas. In a new navy suit, Grace was Dani’s plus-one. Dani had joined a handful of Kate’s friends as a bridesmaid. Kate had said, if it wasn’t for Dani and the house fire, she and John would never have reunited. John had a few friends standing with him as well.

Kate’s parents came along too. Grace clocked how they reacted to meeting Sarah, wearing her formal suit again. Sarah was warmed, but not softened, by an ivory silk shirt and her wickedest smile when she introduced Diego. Kate’s dad and stepmom, both the kind of people who’d wear their military uniforms to a wedding, retreated into stuffy shock. Kate’s mom alternated between staring at Diego and hanging on Sarah’s every word.

They didn’t get directions to the wedding location until the last minute. Following some GPS coordinates brought them to a Las Vegas wedding chapel. Its storybook quaintness, teetering between pretty and kitschy, brought magic to a dull stretch of Las Vegas Boulevard. Grace decided on kitschy when an Elvis impersonator invited them to enter the building.

It wasn’t long until Kate and the bridesmaids came down the chapel aisle. Kate was polished until she gleamed in simple white, carrying warm autumn flowers. Kate's bridesmaids wore silky slip dresses in different colors, a human version of her bouquet, and each one led one of Kate's dogs. Dani, shining in marigold, looked like a sun goddess. She was leading Diego's dog, Taco, to round out the canine numbers. She blew Grace a kiss as she went by.

The wedding itself was a blur of laughter, tears, Elvis puns, and occasional barks. Diego went wild taking pictures. Sarah asked Grace to ‘help keep an eye on things.’ Grace agreed without saying anything about Sarah’s sudden wedding-induced sniffles. It turned out Grace liked playing bodyguard: watching the door, walking the wedding party out, and shooing curious passers-by away as Diego took more photos outside. Dogs plus a wedding made everybody stop. She also appreciated a reason to hover in the back and stay out of the pictures.

Taking those pictures out in front of the chapel took forever. Grace joined Dani – not a moment too soon, because Dani was being interrogated by Kate’s father. “This is my partner, Grace,” said Dani, rather nervously. Like she was practicing saying it to her own father. Grace lifted her jaw with a tight smile and shook the man’s hand, putting some muscle into it.

John broke away to say something to Dani in Spanish. Dani said _s_ _í_ _, sí_ _, manito,_ and waved him off like a United States senator rated the same respect as her little brother. Grace thought the two of them were getting along, though they spoke so much Spanish together it was hard to tell.

Dani went over to the furthest edge of their group. Grace followed. Sarah was there, holding Taco's leash, smoking thoughtfully. Dani said, “I am supposed to make sure you come to the restaurant, Sarah.”

Sarah exhaled smoke. “In a minute. Something you two should know.”

Grace stopped breathing. Dani had, too, her lips pressed in. Sarah wasn’t going to say that she and Diego…

It was even more shocking than that. Sarah said, “I’m resigning from the station and leaving Big Bear.”

“What?” said Grace.

“But why?” Dani asked.

Sarah ground out her cigarette. “I was there to make a home for my son. I don’t need to do that anymore. For him or for me.”

“I liked having a home with you,” said Dani.

Sarah half-smiled. “Thanks, kiddo. But it looks like you’ve started the future.”

Dani took Grace’s hand. “Yes.”

Grace clenched Dani’s hand back. “What are you doing to do now?” she asked Sarah.

Casually, Sarah said, “I thought I’d check out D.C. John’s there most of the time. Kate’s moving there. She’s knocked up already.”

“That is why this wedding,” Dani said.

Sarah snorted. “Fuck, no. Kate was ready for a kid, prepared to go it alone. This is all John’s idea.”

Dani asked, “When you married John’s father, was it like this?”

“No. It was…” Sarah went remote, the way she had before she’d been talking about John openly. “I can’t explain.”

Dani tilted her head. “I am here if you want to try. Did you install Whatsapp on your phone like I showed you?”

“I looked at that and, no offense kiddo, its security is crap. I’d rather just call.”

“Yes! Call!” 

Grace cleared her throat. “Uh, what about Diego?” They all watched Diego taking pictures of John and Kate with Kate’s mom. She smiled brilliantly when Diego asked her to.

Sarah said, “Me leaving for family, Diego understands. Besides, Diego loves women the way I like men. Let him enjoy being a hot fireman for a while. If he gets a serious girlfriend, make sure she deserves him. He’s too nice to break it off with anyone.”

“Oh, I will!” Dani said, sparkling with amusement. Sarah glanced at Grace. Grace remembered what Sarah had said about seeing somebody younger – _leave them in better shape than you found them_ – and nodded at her.

Finally, John and Kate were ready to drive to the restaurant, with John at the wheel. Kate leaned out of a reinforced-looking SUV to throw her bouquet. Kate had quite a pitch. Grace, at the back, had to use her reach to catch it, keeping it from missing them entirely. Almost everyone else laughed or applauded, and got into a stretch limo to head that way, too.

Grace had brought her own car along for a bit of space. Dani stayed with her. Sarah and Diego stayed on the sidewalk, too. Diego asked, “Why is your son driving? He should have a driver on his wedding day, yes?”

Sarah watched the SUV and limousine go. “John likes to be in control. If something happens, he knows how to take care of it. Kate, though…she doesn’t _know_.” Sarah’s emphasis gave that two meanings. “Someone definitely needs to keep an eye on her.”

Diego said, “I won’t let anything happen to my family, either.”

“Then be ready.” Sarah threw him her keys. They got into Sarah’s Jeep. Taco jumped in after them. Diego drove them off.

“The Secret Service will be like nothing next to Sarah!” said Dani.

“Seriously. I feel sorry for Washington D.C.,” Grace said. “Did Sarah tell you the same thing she told me?”

Dani turned her face up. “Make the most of every day you are alive?”

“No. That we live in the best of all possible worlds.” Grace paused. “Dani, when I look at you…I believe it.”

Grace saw Dani thinking about that, eyes narrowing, face scrunched. Imagined those lovable lines settling into Dani’s features twenty, thirty years from now. Grace remembered the mistakes she had made in her own life, the awful things that Sarah had survived, both of which had already shadowed Dani. Instantly, she was determined to protect Dani from any more of that. To give Dani the future she deserved. She went down on one knee, offered up the bouquet. “I love you.”

Dani’s lips parted. She gathered the flowers against herself, lashes fluttering a mile a minute. "I love you too, Grace. Does this mean... do you want to..."

Grace didn’t know if the chapel’s Elvis interrupted or saved them. “Still here? Uh-huh! Twenty-five percent off if you book today,” Elvis said, sweet with persuasion.

Before Grace could tell him to get lost, Dani quipped, “Maybe on Valentine’s Day?”

Elvis said, “Line’s out the door then. No time like the present! Whenever you decide, y’all come back here. _Love me tender, love me true…”_ Still humming, Elvis closed the chapel door.

Dani smiled down at Grace, who was still kneeling. “What do you think?”

“I…” _Yes but_ _I don’t want to fuck this up, I don’t want to pressure you._

Grace tried again. “I…” _I love you, I’m a fucking cliché, you deserve everything –_

Dani’s expression was clouding over. Grace just said it. “I want to plan a real proposal for you.” Then she stood up and took the bouquet back from Dani, so that nothing was in the way of Dani’s perfect embrace.

* * *

Back in Big Bear, the day after Sarah left for D.C., Moonshine Station’s second calendar came out. This one did go viral. Diego had focused on the station’s real influencers: Taco and Smoky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pescadero State Hospital for the Criminally Insane = Sarah was incarcerated here during _Terminator: Judgement Day._  
>  Manito = Dude, li'l bro.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're enjoying this AU, please consider supporting California wildfire relief. Our California and its firefighters, both convicts and free, are having a rough time right now. 
> 
> Thank you to the other T:DF and Grace/Dani fans helping brainstorm this, including @silverwriter01 and @maltango! We had so much fun with the idea of htis AU, I wanted to share it as a story.


End file.
